"honey"

[7]

he just started calling me "honey" and i can't stand it. i hear the word and immediately start having varying degrees of panic attacks.

 

we were together 6 months and then he broke up with me, and now, six more months later, we're back together. we've only been back together for two weeks and NOW he decides to start using that sickeningly sweet nickname.

 

i didn't like when he started calling me "baby," either, but now i love it. but "honey" is different. that's what my parents call each other. i'm not ready to go there.

 

and every other time he says it i tell him, usually quite seriously, but not angrily, that i don't want him to call me that. and he apologizes but keeps doing it.

 

i'm not sure what to do about it at this point. i don't want our first big fight back together to be about something so small, but it's really starting to irritate me that he doesn't respect my feelings on this. any thoughts?

[kaoticbaby]

hmm.....i think its cute. whats the big deal ? my friends use it in a cute sense of the word "heeyy hunniee" instead of the i'm-married-to-you way. why would you fight over this ? he's calling you a pet-name, which shows fondness.

[kristo]

Talk to him... he is not a mind reader

[smallworld]

Hey 7, I am equally repulsed by the phrase "dear." Your best bet is to just keep telling him "Please don't call me that. I like being called 'x' (whatever 'x' may be). He'll get it eventually. And when he does call you by something you prefer, be sure to give him lots of positive reinforcement (i.e. hugs and kisses)

[pineapple_juice]

Why are you upset about him using the word "honey" ? Aren't you being a little bit too demanding? No spouse will ever be perfect in everything they say.

[mysteryman]

Yah it's annoying but not a big deal. Just talk to him about it.

 

P.S. I hate most of that stuff too.

[RayKay]

Call him Pookie Wookie in return and see what happens (my bf and I tease each other with doing this all the time, our actual pet names are more like nicknames!)

 

Or, much better option, when he calls you honey, just say "I don't know why, but that pet name reminds me of my parents and makes me feels strange! I prefer "baby" (or whatever else) much more!"

 

I don't think honey is the worst out there, but I do understand, there are some things that I would not like being called either (ie "the old lady"!)

[7]

yeah, i know i'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. but my concern is less about the word, pretty innocent in itself, than about the fact that i told him it bothers me and he doesn't seem to care.

 

but i haven't tried telling him about how it reminds me of my parents, that's a good idea. thanks for listening.

[Miss M]

yeah, i know i'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. but my concern is less about the word, pretty innocent in itself, than about the fact that i told him it bothers me and he doesn't seem to care.

I agree with you. No matter what it is or how small, if it's something that seriously bothers you, and that fact doesn't matter to him, it seems there's something wrong with that. I think you definitely get a vote in what name he calls you, and he shouldn't persist in giving you name you don't like. And a "pet name" that grates on your nerves really isn't all that warm and intimate.