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yeah, i know i'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. but my concern is less about the word, pretty innocent in itself, than about the fact that i told him it bothers me and he doesn't seem to care. but i haven't tried telling him about how it reminds me of my parents, that's a good idea. thanks for listening.

he just started calling me "honey" and i can't stand it. i hear the word and immediately start having varying degrees of panic attacks. we were together 6 months and then he broke up with me, and now, six more months later, we're back together. we've only been back together for two weeks and NOW he decides to start using that sickeningly sweet nickname. i didn't like when he started calling me "baby," either, but now i love it. but "honey" is different. that's what my parents call each other. i'm not ready to go there. and every other time he says it i tell him, usually quite seriously, but not angrily, that i don't want him to call me that. and he apologizes but keeps doing it. i'm not sure what to do about it at this point. i don't want our first big fight back together to be about something so small, but it's really starting to irritate me that he doesn't respect my feelings on this. any thoughts?

i have almost the exact same problem with my boyfriend, except we also have sex, but i give him head and stuff and when i told him that since sex doens't always last so long he should do stuff for me too, he said he just never knows if i want it because i don't tell him. i said well i pretty much always want it so how bout if i tell you when i don't? but he maintains that i'm supposed to ASK for it, even though he's never had to ask me to do anything (unless i was doing it wrong). sorry, i don't really have much advice, i'm just letting you know you're not alone... but when you find the solution let me know 7

My boyfriend and I have been together for four months, and while it's the best relationship I've been in so far we have our share of problems. Most of them are things I can put up with, but I just can't deal with someone I love so much NEVER thanking me for anything. I have a car and he doesn't, and I really wouldn't mind giving him rides places if he thanked me when I did. It's possible that maybe he just didn't grow up in a family where the thank-you was stressed as severely as it was in mine, but I have told him several times that it's a very important gesture to me. Then he says it obligitorily that one time and forgets every time after that until I remind him again. He seems to think a thank you is implied, but isn't that the reason people say it? Because it's NOT implied? And I'm not sure which is worse, but he also doesn't pitch in for gas when we go on long trips. Last time on the way back I mentioned that it cost 30 bucks "just to get down there," which means he should give me 30 bucks, and he said oh okay, I'll give you 15 tomorrow, but he never did. I guess I should have reminded him, but sometimes things are going so beautifully between us in every other area that these things just seem silly. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

I think you should get a divorce, and if I'm reading correctly it sounds like you think so too. You can still have a friendship with him and keep him in your children's life, but from what you said it sounds like you're doing most of the parenting anyway, so maybe it would be better to continue being the head of the household while also keeping the door open for someone new and more respectful to come into your life?

ok so here goes nothing, i'm kind of nervous about talking about this just so you know... me and this guy i've been dating for a month, not sure i'd call him my boyfriend at this point but we're not seeing other people so i guess that's what he is. well we've been having sex for like two weeks, and i've always had trouble orgasming, in fact i've only had a few even though i've had plenty of sex. he, like every other guy i tell about my problem, has made it his personal mission to get me there. he's actually made more progress than anyone else in that he helped me realize that whenever i start getting close i sort of push him away, or change positions because it's just too much. really really good, but too much. so of course it came up that maybe i just need to be prevented from getting away. so we tried tying my hands behind my back, and i was really surprised how much excitement i actually got from struggling to get away, pretending i didn't want it. unfortunately this also excited him quite a bit and he came too soon, but i'm sure we'll be in this position again, and i was wondering if anyone has experience with this kind of thing. i'm not interested in the whole masochism part of it, but i really liked being completely at his mercy. so any experiences, suggestions, etc would be much appreciated. thnks, 7

Okay so I realize this is difficult to give advice on without much context, but I feel like the conversation speaks for itself. I've been seeing this guy for like a week, and he seems to really like me but we'll be making out and all of a sudden he says he's really tired and well that's the end of that. It's really frustrating, and not only that I'm a little insulted, and I'm not sure if I should be. I've said something about it and all he said was it had nothing to do with me. Well what does it have to do with then? I don't get it. Here's an example. "You're sniffly." "Yeah, I think I'm getting just a little bit sick." "I'm sorry. It won't last long." "I think I got it from you." "That's what I'm saying." "I'm going to sleep in Josh's room, since he's not here." "Good idea." "What's wrong?" "Nothing, I'm just… tired I guess." "I told you you should have gone to sleep." "But if I tried to go to sleep at a reasonable hour it wouldn't have happened."(I have to stay up all night, long story) "I kind of want to be in my winding down before going to sleep by myself time, so…" "Okay. I mean, I was going to go, but now I guess I'll go sooner." "Are you being pissy?" "No, I'm just kind of sad." "Don't be sad." "Are you seeing anyone else?" "No, I'm not seeing anyone else. I turned down sex last night." "Good." "I want you to smile." And he tried to make me smile, which is something I absolutely hate when people do. Especially in a situation like that. I mean, that's just wrong. I mean, that just happened. And then we kissed really really passionately and then I left as fast as I could because I couldn't stand it. I can't stand this wanting each other so bad and then him being too tiiiiiiiiiiired for it to go anywhere. I mean, he's right, it was almost 3 when I went back there, but when it's not almost 3 we're never alone, so isn't the solution just to stay awake after almost 3? It seems like a no brainer to me. It seems like if he really liked me like he says he does he wouldn't be able to resist staying up past almost 3 with me. Maybe I'm just an abnormally late night person. But keep in mind that we're college students so it's not really an absurd concept to stay up past bedtime to make out. Am I missing something here?

it's so weird, i'm in pretty much the exact same situation. almost exactly exact actually, but i've only been seeing this guy for two weeks so i guess in that sense it's totally different... but i've been seriously trying to follow through on the not-calling-til-he-calls strategy, and it's really hard. it's gotta be harder when you've been seeing each other for two months. sounds like you should maybe have a talk, not that that's the best advice, in fact it's not really advice at all. i guess i'm in too similar a position to be giving advice on this, but i just wanted to let you know you're not alone... heh, sound familiar? Good luck, 7

I'm not sure if virtual communication is the best route in this situation. I'd try getting together with her more in the real world. It's only 20 minutes, that's not really so bad, if you have a way to get there. And if not, surely there's a place you can meet to hang out, like a town or a mall or something. I just think it would be awkward if you started talking about your feelings online after not seeing each other much in person, because then think of how weird it would be when you saw each other after that.

Sounds pretty manipulative to me... only because of the part involving this person telling you to stay out of their life then ignoring you. I wouldn't respond to this flirting unless they apologize profusely for being so immature.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having a crazy bachelor party-type night, as long as he didn't physically cheat on her, which would be difficult since those places usually have look-but-don't-touch rules. But whether it was wrong or not it's his responsibility to tell her. And who knows, maybe he already has.

He's probably just freaked out by the label. And it's obviously not the label itself that is important to you - it's what comes along with that label. When people call themselves "boyfriend/girlfriend," it means they don't date other people, don't make out with/sleep with other people, and don't have plans to do so. So instead of insisting that you put the official title on the relationship (be careful not to use that word yet either... man these emoticons are all so silly, just imagine i put a cute winky face in there), maybe you should tell him you're not comfortable seeing each other the way you are if other people are going to still be options. that that causes you a lot of anxiety and you just want to make sure that when you are together he's not thinking about someone else. i think that's fair, and as long as you explain it in terms of your feelings there's not much for him to deny.

I bet since your mom is so excited about what's going on in your life she would understand if you asked her not to tell people about your dates. She'd probably be really happy if you talked to her calmly about why it bothers you, because it shows you want to be able to keep things between you and her.

thanks for your replies everyone... beanpaper, what you said was really blunt and to the point, and at first i disregarded it because it hurt to read, but after reading it again i realized you pointed out some stuff i was in denial about. i do think the idea of us sleeping together is more innocent than you think, and i could tell he wasn't joking, we actually talked about it a bit more than that but i can't remember the exact words; it's just that he usually goes to bed around midnight and i don't go to bed til 2 or 3, so he said when you feel like passing out just pass out here instead of there (since we live in the same building). i was sort of thinking/hoping he might have been trying to turn this into more of a relationship kind of thing, waking up together and such. but, heeding your advice, i won't be doing that, at least not tonight. it's going to be difficult, but i've got this addictive forum to distract me. the other problem with us is that he flirts with other girls, like a lot. he's really touchy feely and always gives massages, cuddles with our mutual friends in front of me, that kind of thing. i wanted to talk to him about it but i feel like it's way too early to start being all jealous and relationshippy... but it bothers me seeing him touching other girls, even if it's not blatantly sexual, and i feel like there's nothing that distinguishes me from them in his mind except that i was the one that bit. i know this sounds like an obvious "dump the dickhead" situation, but i'm really comfortable with him, when we actually get to spend time together, and he's really funny, and there's just something about how we interact that makes me think this might be worth trying for. but i guess i should start letting him seek me out, see if it even happens?

It might be nice to get some concrete understanding of her feelings for you before she leaves for two months. I know that would be like torture if she says she likes you too and then you just have to wait, but it's better than being in the dark the whole time; and besides, if she says no then you can at least relax for the two months instead of feeling like crap for not saying anything before she left.

Oops, I forgot to make it a question What should I do in this situation? Would either choice send the wrong message? Thanks

I started hooking up with this guy about two weeks ago, and he says he really likes me but he's very busy every day (we're in college and he has more classes than me and more extracurricular activities). He also has to go to bed early and I always stay up late and sleep late. We've slept together twice but after the last time we decided we shouldn't for a while, because it was way too soon, but we want to get to know each other better. The other day we had a dinner date and he didn't show up and didn't call until an hour and a half later. We finally had dinner tonight, and afterwards we were cuddling together and I said "We should take a nap together sometime." He said, "Well you could just crawl into bed with me when I'm sleeping." I'd really like to do that, but I don't want him to think I just jump at the chance to do whatever he wants me to do and he can just expect me to show up whenever he says and he can just blow me off and I'll still be at his beck and call.