bsp_kjm Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Thanks to all of you who have been following along with my drama. Been needing to get this off my shoulders... Well for about 2 weeks now, the ex has been calling, emailing, and texting constantly. I've been avoiding her calls but I admit that I've picked up a couple times. She's been telling me how we can work things out, she is totally in love with me, and wants to spend all of her time with me. She felt that she had enough time and space to think about us and she feels that things can work out between us. I told her I was glad she was thinking about us but we should just keep our space from eachother for now. She agreed but wanted me to call her more often, which I havent done. Day before yesterday, she asked me to go to lunch with her the next day since she was going to be in town since she was done with school. We went out to lunch and things were going well, I wasnt hurting and she seemed fine too. She brought up us getting together and I told her I wanted to work things out too, but maybe we should wait a couple days to think about it some more. She agreed. BTW, I ended up buying lunch since she was apparently broke. We then hit a mall next to the resteraunt to do some xmas shopping. She acted like we were together (holding my hand, hugging me, kissing me) and kept talking about our future together. I'll admit that it made me feel so good. One thing that irked me though was she couldnt stop talking about one of her guy friends, "Kevin". At lunch, she told me how her and the guy friend would constantly go to that exact resteraunt and exactly what her friend would order. She then told me that he had made her dinner on several occasions and it was "the best food I ever had." That sorta rubbed me wrong because I had made her dinner plenty of times and she never said anything like that. At the mall, she passed by a store the guy friend worked at and she rushed in to see if he was working, but he wasnt. Then she was like, "Oh, I forgot, he only works from 6pm to 10pm on Fridays" and then told me his entire work schedule, down to every hour on each day. Ive worked at the same place for the last 3 years with the exact same schedule and she never memorized my hours after all that time, she constantly had to ask when I was working or would make plans for us during my work schedule. We went into the Gap and she saw a nice outfit on one of the male dummys and was like, "I should totally buy this for Kevin, he'd look so hot in it." I didnt say anything and she started looking through the guy's pants. She grabbed a pair and announced she was going to get them for Kevin. Price tag: $59. ? She just tells me she cant even afford lunch and then she buys these $60 pants for her friend? I didnt show that it bugged me and we moved on to the next store. She then started whining about not having enough money to buy christmas presents and she asked me, "Would you get mad if I just got you a CD for Christmas?" I just shrugged and replied with, "If thats what you wanna get me." She laughed. Then for about another hour, she told me about Kevin's entire life. I pretended to be interested, but I couldnt give a flying fock to be honest. We got back to her place and she got online and was chatting with him on Y! messenger as I was reading a magazine. I looked up several times at the screen and saw her telling him things like, "miss ya, hugs and kisses!" or "wish you were here" or "you're the best". Then she got on her myspace and was leaving him comments like, "Hey lover, miss ya, cant wait to see you!" I then said to her, "damn, guess you're really into your friend," and she laughed and said, "he's just my bestfriend, ok? I love you and there is no one else that even compares to you" and left it at that. I left to work and that was that. Ok, so she comes to me wanting to get back with me, then talks about her "bestfriend" all fockin day. Good way of showing me you want me back Maybe I'm just over reacting? I mean I have female friends, but I dont call them my lovers or make them dinner. Hmmmm... I dunno. I'm trying not to be overprotective or smothering or anything like that. Just had to get that off my chest... Link to comment
DN Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Sounds to me like she was trying to make you jealous - and she may have succeeded too well. Has it occurred to you that she may have set it up so you went to the mall where he works? I would back off if I were you - if she asks why tell her it's so she can spend as much time as she needs with her best friend. Link to comment
bsp_kjm Posted December 17, 2005 Author Share Posted December 17, 2005 Sounds to me like she was trying to make you jealous - and she may have succeeded too well. Has it occurred to you that she may have set it up so you went to the mall where he works? I would back off if I were you - if she asks why tell her it's so she can spend as much time as she needs with her best friend. i was thinkin about the whole "setting it up" and making me jealous, but why would she want to do that when she's asking for me to take her back? some sort of test? Link to comment
kellbell Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Hi bsp_kjm! Wow, this post does not surprise me a bit. First off, I know you must feel very confused, happy, angry, wanted....a whole hodgepodge of emotions, which is why I feel you may not be able to think this out clearly without getting hung out to dry again. First of all, this young lady cheated on you, with another girl. She lied to you about it and hung you out to dry. She toyed with your emotions and has strung you along for weeks. So bad that you had to go get professional help. Then you make remarkable progess, cut this girl out of your life, started doing things for yourself and what was right for you. Durning this process, she has called you, texted you, emailed, and even got quite belligerant about it ("pick up your f'$#@ phone!). Then now all the sudden she wants you back. She wants you back because you took her out of her comfortzone, to me that is not love or mature. That to me is wanting her cake and eat it too. It would be one thing if you guys went your separate ways, tried to live without one another, but figured out your hearts long for one another, then you give it another go...slowly and maturely. But this girl's behavior throughout this whole ordeal has been incourageable. Plus dude...she cheated on you!!! I am so sorry but you are on the way to becoming a doormat and this weekend is a classic example. Let her have her precious Kevin in his $60 Gap pants. Dude you deserve so much better. You deserve a young lady who can't keep her hands off you meanwhile telling you how much she is into YOU and how great YOU are and wants to buy you a pair of $60 pants, not a dude name Kevin. Please, I am begging you, don't sell yourself short and don't settle for crumbs because that is all what this girl is giving you. You deserve the whole pie my friend. You are doing so well. I urge you to think this through so carefully. You are young, intellegent, caring guy with so much to offer. I can't tell you how to live or whom to be with but I can urge you to think carefully about whom you wear your heart on your sleeve for. Be careful, listen to your instincts, and take care my friend. You are due for a break. Peace. Link to comment
bsp_kjm Posted December 17, 2005 Author Share Posted December 17, 2005 thank you kellbell, you have definitely helped clear up a lot for my in these past couple weeks. i appreciate your support through it all. I dont exactly know how Im going to go about handling this situation... but I'll be doing something that benefits me and only me. Thank you again Link to comment
kellbell Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 No problem. I don't want you to get hurt anymore than you have and I can tell from all your posts that you have. I would really try to spend as little time as you can with this girl. Take care ok? Link to comment
bsp_kjm Posted December 22, 2005 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 well how funny is it that after hanging out with her at the mall that one day, the emails, txts, and calls from her suddenly stopped. i think she's psycho... whatever, continue on with my days like nothing has happened... Link to comment
kellbell Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 I don't think she is psycho, I think she is a very insecure young lady. You deserve to be with someone who is comfortable in her own skin. You are doing great. Hang in there. Link to comment
bsp_kjm Posted December 23, 2005 Author Share Posted December 23, 2005 You deserve to be with someone who is comfortable in her own skin. You are doing great. Hang in there. thanks... i got an email from her this morning tellin me that she hasnt contacted me because she wants to spend as much time with her family as possible and she needs space from me still i feel like im back at day 1 of healing again because of the way she got my hopes up and then dashed them Link to comment
kellbell Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Awww hugs to you. (((hugs))) I know setbacks are hard...but unfortunately, they happen. Just pick yourself up, dust off your knees, and keep treking. You can do it. I believe in you. Link to comment
bsp_kjm Posted December 23, 2005 Author Share Posted December 23, 2005 Awww hugs to you. (((hugs))) I know setbacks are hard...but unfortunately, they happen. Just pick yourself up, dust off your knees, and keep treking. You can do it. I believe in you. thank u kellbell, hugs right back at ya Link to comment
kellbell Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Thanks, I really need them now. LOL Happy Holidays. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now