True that most girls forgive cheating?

[yeawutever]

IS IT TRUE THAT MOST OF US GIRLS ARE FORGIVING THAN GUYS?

OK FROM WUT IM HEARING ARE LOTS OF POSTS OF THOSE WHO WERE CHEATED. VERY OFTEN IM HERAING ABOUT GIRLS WILLING TO FORGIVE THEIR B/F'S HUSBANDS FOR CHEATING, NOW I HERA THIS FROM GUYS TOO BUT FEW. SO I MUST BE DIFFERENT FROM U ALL FORGIVING GILRS, CUZ I WOULDN'T PUT UP WITH THAT BEHAVIOR. AND ALSO I WAS WONDERING IF THERE ANY OF U GIRLS HERE LIKE ME WITH HAS ZERO TOLERANCE FOR THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR.

OR IM I THE ONLY GIRL THAT THINKS THAT WAY, IM I?

[needafriend]

Absolutely zero tolerence.

 

I believe that people who cheat are just weak...

[SkyFire]

I think girls are a bit more likely to take back a guy for cheating.

 

I, as a guy, am completely intolerable of it.

[chai714]

IS IT TRUE THAT MOST OF US GIRLS ARE FORGIVING THAN GUYS?

 

No. It is often a case by case basis - most people (believe it or not) WILL tolerate cheating though. Do they like it? Of course not. Do they end their relationships right there and then? No.

[miracle29]

Tisk Tisk now...what did MELRICH say about putting people in a box? NO not all women forgive, a lot of men on this site alone, forgive way too much for my taste. I think many people forgive. Men and Women forgive hoping that they didnt make a mistake. Never think its just an all woman thing. Thats just not true.

[Reilly2856]

definitely no tolerance in my book.

[Stari]

I take lightly the claims people make of how they will react in the future unless they have been in that situation before.

 

Some say "Never forgive a cheater" to try to discourage cheating. They hope that if everyone sticks to the No Forgiving rule, no one will cheat and they in particular will not be subjected to it.

 

Words are cheap, no consequences comes to the person saying Never Forgive.

 

Once they are in the situation of a cheating partner, the discouraging motive is pointless since the act has already happened. Consequences of not forgiving are suddenly a reality, perhaps even greater than if they choose to forgive.

 

No couple gets married thinking they will likely divorce and no cheater thought they could cheat.

 

How you value things in the future depends on what happens between now and that future.

[Bethany]

They may forgive because they love but they will NEVER forget the pain, hurt and deceit. Once you cheat, there is no trust left and you will have a live of constant mistrust, insecurity and anger deep inside directed toward you and it will be your own fault.

I'm with the others, once cheated on... its over. The End.

[Shaun23]

Bathany is right!

 

Ok, I was not cheated on, but my gf got feelings for this one guy that was in her class when she was still at school. This was 3 years ago,and still(even though nothing happened between them),I am still very jealous and insecure sometimes,even though she has never given me reason to feel this way after what happened.We are engaged now and have been together for 5 years and 4 months.

 

When she realised what she had done to me,and how it really broke me,she was ashamed of what she did,and she realised what she had almost done to our relasionship. I was one,and still am one of those that say,"Cheat and it is good bye",but fact is once it happens(even tough it didn't go that far),you still cannot find yourself walking out! I couldn't!!

 

Let me know what you guys think if this,

[OceanEyes]

We are all separate individuals. It is impossible to say whether or not one gender is more likely to forgive cheating. How would you even conduct a study on something like that? Questionnaires? The fact is, that nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.

 

I, myself, couldn't say whether or not I would forgive. It would depend entirely on the circumstances.

[yeawutever]

Nice hearing all ur point of views, but as for me I would rather have no contact with the cheater and don't ever see him again. Why waste on time on worrying whether he'll do it again or not and deal with insecurity or keep wondering when he does out, I rather breap up and be single for a while. There are men out there who don't cheat. And basis, they expect respect, so I expect the same from them.

[kellbell]

I think it's a case by case basis. Depends on a lot of factors. But I always felt I wouldn't know what I would do until it happened to me. I have noticed in the past that women are more prone to forgive and for men, it is absoultely not tolerated but that's based on my own observations.

[Egirl]

I always said that I couldnt or would never EVER forgive cheating no matter what...

Until now that i am living the situation...

Ive was with my husband for two years and last saturday we were all drunk and i caught him and my cousin fondling each others parts.... there wasnt any kissing or sex going on (didnt go that far)....... all i had ever said i would do if in that situation became reality and none of it was done as i spoke or planned.... I told both of them to pick up their belongins and to get out of my house....... I was 100% sure that my relationship was perfect, I would have bet my life that he would never do something like that to me... I trusted fully... I havnt heard from neither my husband or my cousin since..... all my life ive suffered alot and all I had was him, I just think that maybe he cant even forgive himself or worst even try to look me in the eye, what we had was beautiful.

If he comes back, I feel I will forgive him...

I love him so much, im not sure if i can walk out, he is my husband...

What will happen?

1. realize your mistake and appreciate your lover a lot more after the horrible deed.

 

2. realize your misery within your current relationship, and will likely give you that necessary shove to move on and stop wasting both your lover's and your own time.

 

Help me out guys?

[novaseeker]

Issue with no tolerance is that it doesnt take into account the whole context of what is happening.

 

Let's say you've been married for 15 years, have three kids and one of the spouses has a one-night stand with someone, and fesses up about it. No tolerance? Throw away 15 years and wreck the lives of 3 kids because of a one night stand affair? Some people would choose to do that, and others would choose to stay and try to repair things. Everyone is different, of course, but a strict 'no tolerance' rule regardless of the facts seems foolhardy to me.

[djedix]

Cheating = No Respect.

 

When i have been cheated on, I loose complete respect for the person. Because by cheating, they have shown that they have no respect for me, and the relationship we shard..

 

I also think they show no respect by putting themselfs in situations where there is possible cheating... aka going to a party without you, drinking without you, having a male "friend" who is so important to see.. I think this shows no respect for the relationship at all. I think if you are in a commited relationship, you should be doing things (going to these parties) WITH your significant other.

 

I also think part of it is self control, and self respect.. "But i was drunk" does not cut it, unless the person was drugged on purpose.. but that goes back to the whole, putting your self in a sitiation...

 

Cheaters never win, and in my book, they get the boot as soon as what they have done comes to light

[Country Garden]

I am one of those ladys, that if a man was to cheat on men and I caught him, I would end the relationship because I would never be able to trust him. But, if he came to me and admitted that he had an affair and felt bad about it then I would consider that he made a mistake and it is worth trying to repair the relationship if he wanted. It would be difficulte in this type of case but I can tell you this, I can forgive but I will never forget.

[Vanilla]

Cheat on me and you're out. Disrespect me that way? You're not worthy o f my love and forgiveness.

 

As a a woman I demand respect and the same anounth of love and trust I give.

 

I dont want to have to live for the rest of my life with the memory of a betrayal and so much hurt. That I cant live everytime my man goes out alone. NO THANK YOU

 

I want to be happy thereforeeee cheating for me = NO TOLERANCE

[Aussiechelle]

Sigh...don't be as judgemental as you are. Sometimes feelings cannot be helped, no matter how hard you try. I can tell you that being a person who has trully loved two people at once is a very painful experience. I have been to therapy and my councellor assures me that loving two people is very common, more than you know and people should not judge so harshly. It is not something I chose to happen. I tried everything I could to deny it, it only hurt me more to do this. The person I was seeing never asked me to give up my partner, but in the end it was just to hard for me. It was not sordid and based on sex as we didnt see one another all the time.

 

I don't believe in there being one person for all of us, I know for a fact that either of these men would have made me equally happy. Our timing was just aweful. You cannot know until it happens to you. Not everything is sleazy and sordid.

[kellbell]

That's why I said before, I don't know what I would do until it happened to me. It's different when you go through it, whether you did the cheating or you have been cheated on. It is a total case by case basis. Infedility is such a touchy topic with all kinds of twists and turns. I don't know, I guess now I am rambling. I guess it would be hard for me to say until it happened to me.

[djedix]

That's why I said before, I don't know what I would do until it happened to me. It's different when you go through it, whether you did the cheating or you have been cheated on. It is a total case by case basis. Infedility is such a touchy topic with all kinds of twists and turns. I don't know, I guess now I am rambling. I guess it would be hard for me to say until it happened to me.

 

hopefully you'll never have to go through it

[RayKay]

In my personal opinion, I would not forgive cheating. And yes I have been in that situation.

 

To me it would just show clear disrespect, disloyalty and a lack of commitment to me, those are things I personally will not stand for, I deserve more.

 

True, I am not looking at it from view of having children with this person or anything, but should he have not thought of that BEFORE he cheated then? Also, would that be a good example to provide to my children for their future relationships?

 

I give my partner my all, and I expect nothing less in return.

 

And as an adult, I think it is fully possible to not get yourself in a situation where you are the cheater. You fall in love with someone by spending time with them, and putting yourself in the situation to do so, or you make choice to take it further. The steps and decisions you make get you to that point...you don't wake up one morning in love with someone else when you are in a relationship. Personally for me, I just commit to whom I'm with. I know thats simplified, but for me it's true. Even if the relationship has rockier points, I made a promise to myself and him I was committed to us first and foremost and to work things through. For me, and I know some will disagree, I just do not consider romantic, lifemate, true love that I have for more than one. Sure some may say they can love more then one, but for me PERSONALLY, that to me is not the love I want, or seek, or feel. Love is not just emotion, it's also choice, and action.

[bytheway]

The fact is, that nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.

[Country Garden]

From my understanding most men will cheat. Not saying that all will but if you look there are 5 women to every man, lot of women throw thereselfs on men they take it just for the sex. I for one would fill that this person that cheats does not love me or they could not do this. I know I cant. Like I said before the only way I would try and make a relationship work with someone that has cheated is for them to fess up own their own. If I catch them out the door they would go. Why would a person that has told you the truth go back out and make the same mistake, makes not sense to me.

[spiderman_56]

Having relationships with someone else while in a committed relationship is cruel and breaks one very important aspect witch is trust.

I think honesty is the best card to be played in this situation ..as if the emotional /physical needs are not fufiiled be clear with your partner and express your feelings of exploring new horizons.

If no common ground can no be reached then just end the relationship..

but volontarly breaking the trust by cheating is surely unforgivable.

[darkblue]

If you are involved in a monogamous relationship, it should stay monogamous. That applies to both parties.

 

I've been in the situation of being cheated on. And no, I couldn't forgive her.

Relationships are built upon trust.

Once trust has been broken at such a scale - it's hard to rebuild it.