Society's "Normalcies"...

[DragonGirl724]

Is it just me or are there other people absolutly fed up with the routine of what society deems as "Normal" and "Productive" and "What you SHOULD do with your life"..???

 

From the day you are born society is expecting something from you...to one day become one of the crowd, go to college, & work a 9-5 job which you will probably despise going to just to make ends meet.

 

If you are one of the lucky few that actually love their jobs consider yourself blessed. If you are lucky enough to travel & be free from life's pressures, even for a little while, consider yourself not only lucky, but be honored as well. To "stop & smell the roses" as the rest of the overworked & underpaid world scurries around you & cursing you out for "making them late" or "getting in their way", is a pretty bitter sweet experience.

 

Picture this: To have the sweet opportunity to be able to throw away your cell phone, fall off the planet for a little while and not worry about some 'very important business call' or some other aspect of society's irrelevant stresses...

 

To just be able to breath in a gentle fresh ocean breeze & exhale your urgencies....to walk barefoot accross sunshine days....

 

It's best said through The Shawshank Redemption:

 

ANDY: Think you'll ever get out of here?

 

RED: Sure. When I got a long white beard and about three marbles left rolling around upstairs.

 

ANDY: Tell you where I'd go. Zihuatanejo.

 

RED: Zihuatanejo?

 

ANDY: Mexico. Little place right on the Pacific. You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific? They say it has no memory. That's where I'd like to finish out my life, Red. A warm place with no memory. Open a little hotel right on the beach. Buy some worthless old boat and fix it up like new. Take my guests out charter fishing.

 

...ANDY: To look at the stars just after sunset. Touch the sand. Wade in the water. Feel free.

 

RED: God**** it, Andy, stop! Don't do that to yourself! Talking ****** pipedreams! Mexico's down there, and you're in here, and that's the way it is!

 

ANDY: You're right. It's down there, and I'm in here. I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying.

 

 

....thats what I'M talkin about.

 

I know someone who has lived that life, and like all things it had its Ups & it had it's Downs..the only difference is, that it had more Ups than downs.

 

It's sad that most of us will never allow ourselves to "feel free", for the fear of breaking out of 'the norm' is way too strong....

 

dont wait until you "got a long white beard and have about three marbles left rolling around upstairs." to start living....

 

heck, i should take my own advice....

 

 

I don't know why I posted this really, but it felt damn good to let out.

 

-DG724

[ubertoast]

reminds me of the Stranger by Albert Camus. Society expects people to fallow certain guide lines people just take for granted. You pretty much explained them. Going to school, college, work. But theres more than that. People expect certain things from an individual, but what is the limit. For example, should one risk his life for an others, or such. But you could for example expecet someone to call 911 if a shooting happens in your neighborhood. But what to think about people who don't do such things? are they considered outsiders? or just people who want stuff to go as they want to, and not be integrated into society.

[Day_Walker]

I think its all about perspective, of course breaking the norm seems ideal but that is a thought that seems to cross most peoples minds. The reality is that people really dont want that. The idea is that we give up the simple life to have a life filled with things that we want. Commercialism is our goal not just to live life simple and not be trapped in a viscious cycle of boredem with our lives.

 

If you want to break the mold then feel free but realize the implications of your actions. Anyone has the opportunity to live life simply but we just get wrapped up in other things becuase we feel that money and material objects are important. You should never be affraid to try something different just because society frowns upon it doesnt mean that it doesnt have to be done or that you shouldnt do it. It is your life and all you can do is live it.

[brando]

i think their is a certain amount of acceptance involved in order to enjoy the normalicies of life. One can follow that road and still walk barefoot through the sunshine etc....

 

 

What we reist will persist.

[DragonGirl724]

interesting replies.

 

for example if you were to choose between the place youd like to reside for a little while for both inner peace, experience & change, yet you are very close to your family & friends & that place, that 'haven', is on the other side of the world, which would you choose?

 

this also includes quitting your job & finding a new place of employment.

 

then what would you do?

 

-DG724

[Gunther]

Life is what you make of it, you can do whatever you choose to, what is amazing though is how few people realize that you really can live whatever life you choose to. To live the type of life you want to you just have to know what you want and go for it, if your hope is to travel the world, then you just have to figure out what you need and how to get it. It may seem like a pipe dream, but because the world is what it is today, it is very possible to live almost any pipe dream you may care to have. As for social norms, I can't help you there, I chose to ignore them so long, I couldn't say at the moment. I never really felt pressured to go to college ect, people just had there opinions on what I should do, and I took them into consideration and chose for myself.

[brando]

i guess it is like Robert Frost once wrote, Home is th place for when you go their they have to take you in....

 

 

It is a great question, because it also plays on ones fears and living life commited to those fears of trying new things.

 

If you are asking everyone personally then my answer i could not present at this time.

[jurupa]

What is normal?

 

Normal to one person may be viewed as unnormal to someone else. Just becuase society says something doesn't mean you have to do it nor does it mean it fits you. To me my life with all the ups and downs is normal to me, but to someone else they will view it as abnormal life style and some may consider it unhealthy one at that.

[shes2smart]

Normal is a town in Illinois.

 

I dunno. This seems like something that hasn't been much of a struggle for me. I've pretty much always done whatever I got it in my head to do, other people's opinions be damned.

 

At 15, I decided I wanted to be a radio DJ. The other kids I went to school with thought I was weird. I ignored them...I knew where I wanted to be. The teachers/guidance counselor said if I wanted to do that, I should take the public speaking courses and be on the debate team. I shrugged and said no thanks and graduated early. My parents thought (hoped!) it was just a phase. It wasn't.

 

At 18, I had my own show at my college's radio station. By the time I was 19 I got my first "real" (i.e. paying) gig and have been continuously employed being a professional smart-a** ever since.

 

So, there I was, at my 10 year high school reunion. Single, had never been married, there by myself figuring I'd still be the weird chick of the bunch...no matter to me, I've always figured if people are going to stare, I'll be happy to give them something to stare AT. The night was filled with a steady stream of my former classmates coming up to me and telling me how something I had said, did or written during high school had stuck with them all these years. I heard of many classmates who had gone through marriage #1, divorce #1 and were working on marriage #2 (and we were all only 28!!!!).

 

I looked at the name tags of people who I spoke to that night, and very few of them rang a bell. They all looked older than me (and that phenomenon was even more pronounced at our 20 year reunion). Very few of them seemed happy....well, until they got a few drinks in them anyway.

 

If that's what trying to be "normal" and accepted gets you....well, I'm glad I was the weird one in high school.

 

I won't even get into the go-against-the-grain-ness of actively pursuing a BDSM/Master-slave relationship as an adult. None of us has that kinda time.

 

Suffice to say that I believe those who follow the whispers of their own souls rather than the screaming of ads, TV, pop culture, other people, movies, and all other sources outside of themselves end up having much happier and satisfying lives than those who do what they're "supposed" to do.

[DragonGirl724]

shes2smart,

 

yea thats awesome. and i am like you fortunate enough to be able to do what i love (art) and be successful at it, running my own freelance business since i was in highschool. its a great sense of accomplishment, i guess i always had this humble, simple ideal life (even just for a little bit) to live by the ocean where I can hear the leaves of palm trees shuffeling in the breeze, the waves gently crashing onto the shore at sunset and the bows of sail boats clanking against the pier...and not to mention the best sound of all.........silence. a place where i can plug in a laptop & do some freelance work anywhere in the world i choose to be when i need the money and a place where i can prop an easel onto the sandy landscape & paint.

 

am i a dreamer...or selfish to want this for myself...even if it means leaving my country & those i care about...??? honestly.

 

-DG724

[shes2smart]

am i a dreamer...or selfish to want this for myself...even if it means leaving my country & those i care about...??? honestly.

 

Nope. If you're not expecting anyone else to financially support you or take on your responsibilities in your abscence, I wouldn't consider it selfish at all. If people truly love you, then they want you to be happy. If living on your own private beach in some remote part of the world makes you happy, then ultimately, that's what they want for you.

 

Will they miss you? Sure. Will they be concerned for your well being? Of course. But would they want you to stay put when they know you'd rather be somewhere else just so they won't be deprived of your company? I would hope not. Besides, they can come visit you on vacations and stay in a nice beach house for free, right? What's not to like there?

 

Who knows...once you live there for a while, you might find out it's not really as great as you imagined. You might find out it's everything you ever hoped it would be. It would be worse to not know for sure than to go and find out it wasn't quite what you thought.

 

You're still young and you've got a lot of time to live on the beach and more. If you want a big, full life then you have to be able to dream big. There will always be people who will try to discourage you from dreaming at all. Ignore 'em. Don't bother sharing your dreams with people who are not capable of supporting them.

 

People who want to sabotage your dreams and keep you where you "should" be are people who are afraid to dream for themselves. If they can keep you towing the line...."being normal"....then they don't have to challege themselves to do more and be more. They don't have to do the work of having a dream, or deal with the pain and struggle of making that dream reality or deal with the disappointment if they fall short of their goal....if they can keep you from achieving your lofty goals, then they can be comfortable in their own complacency.

 

Don't let 'em be comfortable.

[DragonGirl724]

u rock.

 

-DG724

[shes2smart]

Y'know...your idea to live by the ocean sounds a bit like my friend Andrea. She & I have been friends since the 7th grade. Even then, she would always say she wanted to live in Florida.

 

All through high school, she wanted to live in Florida. All through college in Ohio she kept on and on about wanting to live in Florida.

 

15 or so years ago, after getting multipe degrees in Biology and travelling from one beach to another to work on different projects -- from tracking sea turtle nests on the southeast coast to working on some seal research in Alaska, and doing research on dolphins in the Gulf of Mexico, she finally ended up in Florida. She lives on a little spit of land that's surrounded by water on 3 sides in southern Tampa Bay and she does research work with Sea Turtles. She's in a Priority One Hurricane Evacuation Zone, but that's part of the price you pay living there......

 

It is everything she imagined it would be back when she first got it in her head in 7th grade.....and I have a free place to stay on vacation.

[darkblue]

I've seen 'shawshank redemption', painful story.

 

But the truth is: you always realize what you could have did better, when it's too late.

 

Live the life you have the way in which you see best. At the end of the day you can be satisfied.

[Hope75]

I do live by the ocean. I can see and smell the salt air, feel the ocean breeze through my bedroom at night, chill on my laptop and go to school for what I love. Your future is what you make of it. If you don't want to be chained by society's "norms", than don't. What a boring way to live life. Than again I was always the weird one that people feared in high school, and have never been afraid to go for what I want, no matter what others think.

 

To quote Mother Teresa:

 

People are often unreasonable, illogical,

and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

 

If you are kind, People may accuse you

of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

 

If you are successful, you will win some

false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

 

If you are honest and frank,

people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

 

What you spend years building, someone

could destroy overnight.

Build anyway.

 

If you find serenity and happiness,

they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

 

The good you do today,

people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

 

Give the world the best you have,

and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

 

You see, in the final analysis,

it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

[DragonGirl724]

Hope,

 

that was beautiful! It actually applies to a multitude of scenarios in my life....I too have always been the one in my family thats a little different than the rest. Im an artist maybe thats what it is. But i have always looked at things a little differently than most people I have met. I think the only other person that views life the same as me is my current BF. he & i talk about it all the time; and he said to me "If you EVER have the strength to just get up & go, all i'd need is about an hour or 2 notice to pack, I dont care where i am or what Im doin, I'm coming with you...where ever on the planet we decide to go." **We were actually considering Goa, India...check it out ITS GORGEOUS!** and a lot of Americans go there to escape for a while. Its really cool. 8)

 

Smart,

 

Thats an awesome story about your friend Andrea. I have always told my parents never bring me on a cruise I guarantee i wont be on the flight home with you. My BF has always been a traveler & i have always admired his ambition to just get up & go. He has lived in both St. Croix & St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands...(He was inspired by The Shawshank Redemption *the last scene of the movie when Red meets Andy in "Mexico" that was actually filmed in the Virgin Islands*) he just packed up & booked a flight, landed in the VI's with only the money in his pocket & the hopes of surviving "as a homeless white boy on an island". I had received a few calls from him while he was down there (we were friends for 3 yrs before we started dating) and he had quite the number of adventures...both that made me envious & a little scared for him at the same time. But he said reguardless of the reason he came back to the States (to live in his parent's basement again opposed to the shores of a beautiful beach) was simply b/c of a pretty dangerous encounter he had with some islanders...he doesnt regret a minute of it.

 

He's always been like a little celebrity to me, his stories fascinate me & hes always up to something. lol

 

DarkBlue,

 

"live the live you have in the way you see it best"...

 

im gonna try. When my mom was 21 (back in the day ) she got up & went with her friend & traveled cross country. She not only saw what life was like in other corners of the fine US of A, but she also learned a lot about herself & her faith. Her stories intriqued me. She had quit her job at the time, sold her car & got up & went for 3 months or so. Came back found a job, bought a new car & picked up where she left off. Her friend she went with actually ended up staying in San Francisco, California & my mom had to book a flight back to NY.

 

Which is a sweet deal, but now its the 2000's its not so easy to just 'get a job', sell & buy a new car, and not be so overwhelmed by expenses that it almost makes me feel like a life like that, which i want (at least for a little while), can't happen. The fund$ alone, the cost to live a life like that now ($$$), are enough to scare anyone away! and thats another aspect of it all that keeps me just standing in line with everyone else working a 9-5 & doing what I can to make ends meet..living "Society's Norm"....

 

 

 

maybe I just need a really good travel agent & an even BETTER financial advisor. lol (like i can even afford either one of those) lol

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

I just re-read your post. i really love what you wrote. Great story, its exactly what im talking about. After all is said & done, I may not have a ton of money, I may not have much, but all I DO want is as little regrets as I can possibly have. To be able to look back, relive the memories, breathe a sweet sigh of contentment...and smile. I have hopes to one day say; "It's been a long adventurous glorious ride getting what I want out of life. I am one of the lucky ones"...

 

-DG724

[Alabama]

This reminds me of Dead Poet's Society. Yet people who fight against society are fighting against their own kind. Humans have made socities to better suit thier needs. People want order. They would hate to live every day, not knowing what will happen. As much as it is good to not always been to socities rules, will society eventually ensare you? Is it inevitable that you will become one of society's drones in life?

[shes2smart]

After all is said & done, I may not have a ton of money, I may not have much, but all I DO want is as little regrets as I can possibly have.

 

Then do what you love and the money will follow.

 

I didn't pick the most lucrative career on the face of the planet, but it truly is the only career field I could love. After massive testing with a career coach, I can say with 100% certainty that there's no other job I would like better....or as I so eloquently put it, "Well. I guess that means I'm on this train til it crashes."

 

If someone is stuck in a job they dislike, it doesn't matter how much they get paid....it's not enough.

 

And for being employed in a notoriously low-paying field, I've done ok by being smart about money management and not buying into a consumer/materialistic lifestyle.

[Blackmsmithdave]

I am as you might have figured from the username a Blacksmith, im creative and certainly not ordinary, i tried to hold won jobs in office work and it nearly drove me mad, i felt smothered, like i could not breatg, i could not think i just felt like some one had put me inside a pillow.

Now i feel more free and alive than i ever have in my life. I never want to be going back to the office. i have broken free and although the path that i have chosen is not the easiest one im happy.

 

If i was given the choice of steping back in time when offices didnt really exsist, i would be a blacksmith a stone mason, an architect (maybe), a sailor, a thief, a treasure hunter, an explorer. But my favourites come last, these are Sell Sword (mercenairy swordsman), or a proffesional soldier. I like to believe that i am in control of my destiny.

 

Two last point thankyou DragonGirl for reminding me of why i got into my proffesion in the first place.

 

and lastly dragon girl, can you tel the squirel to cut back coz everytime i see him hes got a drink in his hand. (i think that picture is fab)

[brando]

Well DG if your going to do it, now is the time. Your stll very young, and you can make your twenties the educational foundation for the rest of your life.

 

I think it is great your bf did what he did, living in the virgin islands. The experiences he encountered are most likely priceless.

 

Im at that point now, wher i dont want to go to work anylonger. The highlight of my day is meeting new people, and with working inside a school district of 16 schools, their are quite a few people to meet. The job itself is mundane..

so i have some soul searching to do...but i always feel i have to pick the thing that is best, instead of trying and failing which is fine, and then making another choice. I am limited by my own self. Sad.

 

Great topic, i have been thinking about it since the day you posted. If this is what you want to do, sit down with your folks and let them know. It seems your mother would understand.

 

anyway thanks for the wakeup call.

 

be well,

Brando

[DragonGirl724]

Im really loving the replies & it makes me happy that this post gets some gears grinding in reader's heads. very cool. I have to finish school so if anything at all was to drastically change in the aspects Id like for it to it wont be until a year from now...and by then, who knows right? I just want out of the tri-state & out of the rut that is daily routine. I dont want to be just another number in society & I want to explore. Learn new things, meet new people, expand my mind & my soul, and get the HELL out of New York.

 

*thanks for listening,I hope this post sticks around for a while...*

 

ps: the squirrel IS The Man isnt he?

 

-DG724

[DragonGirl724]

This reminds me of Dead Poet's Society. Yet people who fight against society are fighting against their own kind. Humans have made socities to better suit thier needs. People want order. They would hate to live every day, not knowing what will happen. As much as it is good to not always been to socities rules, will society eventually ensare you? Is it inevitable that you will become one of society's drones in life?

 

Good question...I honestly think society will consume you if you let it.

 

...and man, it TRIES HARD!!

 

-DG724

[Alabama]

It sure does. I've learned try to not to conform to everybody's wishes. In life I simply want the essentials (job, home, insurance, car, etc.) and then I'll do what I wish. But of course I know there will be people who will want me to be 'normal'. Yet I've learned not to care for other's opinions, if it go against what you believe. For example, I love being single and would love to travel. I'm not worried about finding love, because it's not an essential thing for me in life. Your qoute, DragonGirl724, sums that up nicely.

[DragonGirl724]

Well, each day, traveling abroad once I graduate with my 2 buddies, is becoming more & more of a possible reality.

 

I already broke it to my family. my mom had mixed emotions about it she first said:

 

"NO WAY!! YOURE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED!!" I laughed & said; "Is it any more of a risk than getting into your car each day & POSSIBLY getting killed in a car accident? If you live your life in fear you're not going to be doing much living at all..."

 

then she said; "You're not going alone!"

 

And I explained; "I know Im not, I already have that part planned out."

 

Then she said "NoOoOOOo I need you, you can't leave."

 

And I laughed a little at her little whine & said "I am though, for a few months at least, this world is too broad & wide not to explore it. And PLUS! you'd have a place to stay on vacation. see, it works out for us all. "

 

So then I brought it up to my pops and he just said "what about your bills???"

 

I said "bills??? what bills? MY CAR INSURANCE?? I'D DEFINITLY CANCEL MY CAR INSURANCE FOR THE 3 MONTHS IM GONE! and as for my cell phone bill?-I just won't have one. and my student loans, ehh, Im sure they have mail boxes in Australia. I'll send my payments by mail, like I do NOW anyway! all Ill need for cash income, is a laptop & an internet connection. (my 1 buddy im going to travel with & i do freelance graphic design & illustration, so it doesnt matter WHERE in the world we do it, b/c its all transferred via internet)."

 

My sister was alllll about it; she was encouraging me & she kinda wants to do the same. Instead of goin on a 7 day honeymoon her & her fiance want to drop everything for a month & travel.

 

And my brother will be indifferent once he hears the news. he'd definitly be bored without me; but once i tell him how amazing the area is & how hot australian girls are; im sure he'll visit.

 

I found cheap means of traveling for those who are interested....

 

and this is how we're getting there. link removed

 

Yes, traveling with cargo to exotic places is the way to go!! its a small fraction of the cost that it is to FLY or take a cruise ship! I've looked up flights to Australia ranging from $900.00 (USD) and UP! screwwwww THAT! these ships you can ride on (with pretty sweet room accomidations & a dining hall) is only $80.00 to $107.00 (USD) per day. Now depending on where youre going it may or may not pay to take a freight liner, b/c it is out on the water for quite a number of days. but its still an uncommon option most people have never heard of.

 

My BF & my best friend Jarrod are the 2 guys im going to be traveling with. my BF told me last night he wants to get to Australia, explore the island before my friend or I get there & find us the best possible bet as to where to live.

 

and here my friends, is a link to persuade all those that think they 'can never travel" or for those who are stuck in a rut of "normalcy"...definitly check it out!

 

link removed

 

 

"Get busy living, or get busy dying..."

 

-DG724