How should I feel about this?

[GuessWhat_Nothing]

My boyfriend looks at and watches porn multiple times a day. Most days he “goes to the bathroom” then immediately wants to jerk off onto me. 
 

I don’t know if I’m offended or if I should care. 
 

I don’t like that he feels like I should just jump at his whims because he started his own motor.

[Wiseman2]

13 minutes ago, GuessWhat_Nothing said:

My boyfriend looks at and watches porn multiple times a day. Most days he “goes to the bathroom” then immediately wants to jerk off onto me. 

Sorry this is happening. How long have you been dating? How old is he? Do you live together? 

How is your relationship and intimacy overall?  Do enjoy being the recipient of this? It doesn't seem very satisfying.  Hopefully he cleans up after himself.

[GuessWhat_Nothing]

38 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How long have you been dating? How old is he? Do you live together? 

How is your relationship and intimacy overall?  Do enjoy being the recipient of this? It doesn't seem very satisfying.  Hopefully he cleans up after himself.

 

-Dating 2.5 years

-We are both late 30’s

-Yes we live together

-Our sex life used to be amazing but I’m lucky if it’s twice a week these past couple months. I’m lucky if I ‘get there’ once a month.

-I used to not have a problem with it but I started noticing it was after he spent a bit on his phone alone and now it just feels like I’m a sex toy.

 

It’s not satisfying and it doesn’t turn me in anymore, afterward I feel gross and like throwing up. He always gets a towel and helps if needed.

 

I dunno it feels more like I’m being used all the time for money, sex, scape goat, babysitter, maid, etc.

 

 

[yogacat]

Doesn't sound satisfying.

Honestly, move on.

Hard to think of a guy who masturbates into his girlfriend as worth keeping (unless it's based on dual reciprocity, lust, mutual enjoyment....not like your some statuette or lust sexbot).

I think your boyfriend doesn't feel connected to you in the least and has checked out into the vast world of digital women and secret spanking fantasies used to augment his daily allowance of self-enjoyment.

[Wiseman2]

28 minutes ago, GuessWhat_Nothing said:

. It's not satisfying and it doesn’t turn me in anymore, afterward I feel gross and like throwing up. 

I dunno it feels more like I’m being used all the time for money, sex, scape goat, babysitter, maid, etc

Sorry this is happening. Your relationship seems awful. Can you move out?  Are you supporting him as well as putting up with this behavior? 

[catfeeder]

1 hour ago, GuessWhat_Nothing said:

It’s not satisfying and it doesn’t turn me in anymore, afterward I feel gross and like throwing up. ...I dunno it feels more like I’m being used all the time for money, sex, scape goat, babysitter, maid, etc.

How much of this have you explained to your BF, and what was his response?

[Batya33]

Have there ever been plans to marry or make a more permanent commitment? Why did you move in with him and why did he move in with you?

[smackie9]

What has happened two months ago? Just like any addiction, a porn addiction is a coping mechanism to deal with mental health issues, a tragedy, infidelity, grief, lost of a job, low self esteem, insecurity, avoidance because of a physical or health issue, involve the with someone on the internet or work, etc. The only thing that’s going to work is communication. Have to tell him how you feel, ask him why, what happened, what is his thinking of this, etc.  Maybe he just wants out of the relationship. If he doesn’t cooperate, pack yer stuff up and leave. It ain’t worth it. 

[Coily]

Sounds like there is some basic sexual dysfunction for you both here. It really begs the question what happened two months ago?

It's easy for people to go down the rabbit hole since it's sexual in nature; but there seems to be a deep seated issue beyond this in the relationship. You don't have to be his sex doll, but you do need to communicate better with him about this. I would suggest writing a letter, one that you can has out all of your thoughts and feelings over this, and present it in a way you have solutions.

[ShySoul]

On 4/29/2024 at 12:52 PM, GuessWhat_Nothing said:

I don’t like that he feels like I should just jump at his whims because he started his own motor.

On 4/29/2024 at 1:51 PM, GuessWhat_Nothing said:

It’s not satisfying and it doesn’t turn me in anymore, afterward I feel gross and like throwing up.

Sex involves two people and thus should involve the mutual enjoyment of both parties. If one person is not enjoying it, then it shouldn't be happening. 

You are not a toy or object. You are a person with your own thoughts, feelings, and desires. A loving partner should be trying to make the experience good for you, not leaving you feeling worse afterwards. 

Don't accept this. Let him know it's not acceptable. Make clear that the porn is causing a problem and see if you can figure out why he's turn to it so much. And if he would rather have the porn then the real woman he is with, then he can have it. You deserve better.