Dismissive avoidant seems “sooo happy” now

[Wtx970022]

We split a month ago from an 3 year relationship and since then she has been extremely active on all forms of social media. Posting to her story on each social media platform and appears soooo happy. When we split she blamed her reasoning “on depression”. Which now looking back I think was an easy way out and. We never had any major issues (lying, cheating, financial) etc. Thoughts on her excessive posting? The posts are of the kids and her mostly. No sexy posts. I’m leaning towards seeking attention but would like input from others.

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Wtx970022 said:

We split a month ago from an 3 year relationship and since then she has been extremely active on all forms of social media.  When we split she blamed her reasoning “on depression”. Which now looking back I think was an easy way out and.The posts are of the kids and her mostly. 

What was the breakup about? Is there any reason to stay in touch or follow each other's social media?  Agree that the depressed reasoning was just an exit ramp. It seems like she moved on but long before the actual breakup. Is this the same woman?

 

 

[MissCanuck]

There's someone she's hoping will view her stories and posts. 

She gets a little adrenaline hit every time he checks them out. Lather, rinse, repeart. 

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

There's someone she's hopping will view her stories and posts. 

She gets a little adrenaline hit every time he checks them out. Lather, rinse, repeart. 

This.

Also, its a common thing. When they say "depressed" they mean "You make me bummed". So after they break up with you, they "blossom". Start to lose that extra weight, to dress hot, to go out etc. Again, very common thing.

[Wtx970022]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

What was the breakup about? Is there any reason to stay in touch or follow each other's social media?  Agree that the depressed reasoning was just an exit ramp. It seems like she moved on but long before the actual breakup. Is this the same woman?

 

 

Same one yes. We have a young son together so total no contact is not an option.

[yogacat]

She's posting mostly with her and her kids, of course she is in a social media she wants to post her life and display what she loves. Unless she had been really affected on your break up as in unable to eat and sleep and just simply stares in an empty space I think it's pretty normal. Depression is different for each person and even if she were severely depressed a lot of people can mask it in public especially in social media.

I am not saying she wasn't affected I am saying it's normal for people to continue their life despite the breakup, maybe I mean hopefully this gives an insight. Much love.

[catfeeder]

Depressed people are each as unique as anyone else. Some like to post dark stuff or announce to the world how depressed they feel or discuss how they are handling it. Others may feel no shame about it but don't necessarily want to broadcast about it, and still others want to hide it as a private matter or might even feel ashamed of it and try to project the opposite. Sometimes that's so people don't worry about them (as was my case), and especially after a major life event such as a separation, presenting a lifestyle of normalcy can feel comforting and prevent ostracization.

We can't speak for her, but most people who are active on SM put on their best face.

[ShySoul]

She said she wanted to work on her mental health. Perhaps this is part of that? She's trying to push herself out there and stay active, being more social. She's trying to beak out of the rut and do different things. It could be a postive sign that she is focused on getting better and being okay with herself again. And if it's of the children, perhaps it's simply a mother boasting about her little ones?

Alternatively, it could be a way to mask her feelings. For some people posting on social media is a way to convince others, and even themselves, that they are happy and everything is perfect. If her life is so happy and wonderful, then she can't be depressed. But the face a person projects to the public, isn't always what they are feeling inside. 

The only person who knows for sure is her. Try not to read into anything, that will only cause you more doubt and confusion. Let her take care of herself. Focus on being okay yourself. Focus on being a good parent to the children. And focus on being friendly and civil with her. 

 

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, Wtx970022 said:

Same one yes. We have a young son together so total no contact is not an option.

Try to focus solely on co-parenting. Enjoy the pics of the children but try to interpret her level of happiness. 

[rainbowsandroses]

On 4/25/2024 at 8:28 AM, Wtx970022 said:

When we split she blamed her reasoning “on depression”.

I just read a post on another forum about this, gf claiming she's "depressed."  I've read it the other way too, a woman posts about her boyfriend being "depressed."  There are soooo many depressed men and women walking around in unhappy relationships, I've lost count!

Anyway, I have a theory about this.  I do believe your girlfriend was depressed while in the relationship however she didn't end the relationship because she was "depressed."  She wasn't happy IN the relationship which caused her to become depressed.  That is why she ended it, because she was unhappy, her depression was a symptom of that - being so unhappy.

Which is why NOW, after it's over, she is happy and no longer depressed!

Re all her postings.  Sounds like she's on a bit of a high, her adrenaline is pumping and yeah it could very well be due to another man in the picture.  Or perhaps simply feeling "free."  

JMO as always and I'm sorry, break ups suck.

 

[Jaunty]

It would be good for your own "moving on" to stop looking at her social media and especially stop trying to seek hidden clues about her, and her reasons for breaking up.

Unfortunately, I guess, because you sound regretful,  the relationship was not working for her anymore.  

If you are going to keep looking at her posts, just take them at face value.