Should I date him again?

[Starshine100]

I dated a guy not so long ago. He told me that he is not ready to trust me and he is dating me because he likes me not lives me. So I broke up with him. We still chat but I still like him. Sometimes I wish to get back together. What should I do?

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Starshine100 said:

I dated a guy not so long ago. He told me that he is not ready to trust me and he is dating me because he likes me not lives me. So I broke up with him. We still chat but I still like him. Sometimes I wish to get back together. What should I do?

How long were you dating? Why doesn't he trust you? Trust your instincts. You made the right choice ending things if he's just "meh" about you. Don't waste your time and energy on indifferent difficult men. 

[Capricorn3]

8 minutes ago, Starshine100 said:

I dated a guy not so long ago. He told me that he is not ready to trust me

Why doesn't he trust you?

That said, I don't think he's a great loss.  Stay broken up. Show him you have self respect and move on to better things and better men.

[TeeDee]

Just because you think you want to get back together doesn't mean he's ready to trust you.  Why do you want to go back to something that wasn't working in the 1st place?  

[catfeeder]

You broke up with him for good reason. How has that changed?

[rainbowsandroses]

13 hours ago, Starshine100 said:

He told me that he is not ready to trust me...

When you return with more context re: his reason for not trusting you, I'll be in a better position to respond.  

For example did you cheat on him?  Not accusing, just asking. 

What happened? 

13 hours ago, Starshine100 said:

is dating me because he likes me not lives me.

I assume you meant to write "not loves me," how long were you dating?

Love takes time (and yes trust) to develop, you can't date someone for a week and expect them to love you. 

What were your expectations?

There is so much missing context here. It's literally impossible to know what you should do.

HE may have good reason to not trust you in which case HE dodged the bullet, not you. 

We need more info. 

 

[ShySoul]

How long were you dating? Was there a specific reason he couldn't trust you? Did something happen or was this just a mutual "not ready for something more serious" breakup? Details tend to be useful, otherwise any advice will be people jumping to their own conclusions on what actually happened.

I assume you meant he didn't love you. It takes time to be able to say that to a person, and that time is different for every person. Opening your heart, trusting someone enough to let them in can be a scary thing and not something you want to rush into. Maybe he was wanting to take his time to make sure he was fully ready? Maybe he wanted to be able to give you the full, committed relationship he thought you deserved, so didn't want to rush too fast. Like they say, fools rush in. 

If you still like him and have kept talking to him, there is probably a good reason. Unless you can point to something he has done that would be questionable or some reason this relationship would be unhealthy for you, what is the harm in giving things another go? In the end, it's your heart and your feelings. I've learned that trusting my heart is rarely a mistake.

 

[Starshine100]

11 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

When you return with more context re: his reason for not trusting you, I'll be in a better position to respond.  

For example did you cheat on him?  Not accusing, just asking. 

What happened? 

I assume you meant to write "not loves me," how long were you dating?

Love takes time (and yes trust) to develop, you can't date someone for a week and expect them to love you. 

What were your expectations?

There is so much missing context here. It's literally impossible to know what you should do.

HE may have good reason to not trust you in which case HE dodged the bullet, not you. 

We need more info. 

 

Yes I saw the typing error😭

I didn't do anything to him but he mentioned to me about his ex who dumped him for being poor and not buying him gifts so she cheated on him. 

 

I see that I expected alot in that relationship because it was my first one. I got really disappointed when he told me that he doesn't want to trust me but after we broke up I understood his point of view so I feel like he isn't ready to trust anyone in a relationship. I just simply wish to get back together and at the same time I don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust me because of his past relationship. So I'm undecided at this point. 

 

[Starshine100]

11 hours ago, ShySoul said:

How long were you dating? Was there a specific reason he couldn't trust you? Did something happen or was this just a mutual "not ready for something more serious" breakup? Details tend to be useful, otherwise any advice will be people jumping to their own conclusions on what actually happened.

I assume you meant he didn't love you. It takes time to be able to say that to a person, and that time is different for every person. Opening your heart, trusting someone enough to let them in can be a scary thing and not something you want to rush into. Maybe he was wanting to take his time to make sure he was fully ready? Maybe he wanted to be able to give you the full, committed relationship he thought you deserved, so didn't want to rush too fast. Like they say, fools rush in. 

If you still like him and have kept talking to him, there is probably a good reason. Unless you can point to something he has done that would be questionable or some reason this relationship would be unhealthy for you, what is the harm in giving things another go? In the end, it's your heart and your feelings. I've learned that trusting my heart is rarely a mistake.

 

Ouch 💔Fools rush in? 😭

I get you 100% I expected alot and I should have given him time. 

Thank you! 

 

[Wiseman2]

36 minutes ago, Starshine100 said:

I didn't do anything to him but he mentioned to me about his ex who dumped him for being poor and not buying him gifts so she cheated on him.   I don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust me because of his past relationship. 

Please trust your instincts. His baggage from his ex is a toxic red flag, not to mention the slap in the face about not being able to love you. Please don't chase garbage men like this. Set yourself free and cut your losses.

[TeeDee]

He was your 1st relationship.  He was too broken to trust anybody.  The longing you are feeling is not love it's nostalgia.  That is a terrible reason to get back together. 

You will be better off going forward to a 2nd relationship.  

[smackie9]

You should get over it and move on with your life...be a strong woman, know your worth, erase this person from your life and find someone else.

[ShySoul]

20 hours ago, Starshine100 said:

I just simply wish to get back together and at the same time I don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust me because of his past relationship. So I'm undecided at this point. 

I was once in a position where I was interested in someone who had been hurt from a past relationship. She had trust issues. I could have stopped things early and probably avoided a lot of hurt. But I would have also missed out on some of the best experiences I had ever had. It ultimately didn't work out, but I wouldn't have had done things any other way. We were meant to be in each others life, if only for that time. She needed my support to him her through those trust issues. And I needed her for where I was at in my life. 

Sometimes you just have to take a chance and go where the heart takes you. 

Relationships happen when it's right. Just keep talking to each other as friends and see how you both feel. If there is more there, you will eventually sense it. And if you don't, the worse that happens is you keep a good friend. But also don't try to force anything that either of you aren't feeling.