Is it wrong what my ex did?

[LilyMinks_x]

Am I looking into this too deeply or are my feelings valid? ( please be brutally honest)

A couple of months ago me and my then boyfriend found out I was pregnant. I desperately wanted to keep it, however he said he’d leave me and have nothing to do with the child if I did.. so I made the decision to get an abortion.

A few weeks after the abortion him and I broke up. He started talking to other women soon after, while still sleeping with me from time to time. While sleeping round his, one night I went through his phone. I found out he was talking to a pregnant women he met online. She was showing him pictures of her ultrasound and potential names she was going to call her child (amongst arranging to meet up and sexually explicit conversations)

This crushed me, because not even a month ago he told me if I didn’t get an abortion he’d leave me.. but here he is talking to a women who gets to keep hers. He could of picked any other women to have a one night stand with.. but he picked a pregnant women after everything that had just happened.

I confronted him about this and he couldn’t see why I was upset. He said there was no link between these two things and I was just traumatised. He said he’d understand my pain if he was trying to be the child’s father, but in his words ‘ she was just a distraction’ and only wanted to sleep with her, nothing more.

Am I overthinking this? Is it stupid of me to be linking the two things together?

[Batya33]

He is acting and was acting like a jerk.  Please be glad to be rid of him.  I cannot imagine being in that situation where the father gives that sort of ultimatum. I'm so sorry. I hope you're not still going to have sex with him!

[Coily]

This guy is absolute scum, on so many different levels.

Think of it this way, if you kept the child, how miserable would it be to tell the child that their father would rather be a man-*** than spend time raising and loving this fictional child? The scumbag would never be there for you or the child throughout the next 18 years. You would be setting yourself up for a life long struggle with this clown not lifting a finger if he couldn't get his sexual fix.

For your sake, kick him out of your life entirely. Take some time to heal from this situation.

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

  I cannot imagine being in that situation where the father gives that sort of ultimatum.

It happened to me.

I'm so sorry. No, you are not wrong to feel hurt and betrayed. Please stop sleeping with him if you haven't yet. He is not a good person. Please remove him completely from your life. You can do so much better.

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, boltnrun said:

It happened to me.

I'm so sorry. No, you are not wrong to feel hurt and betrayed. Please stop sleeping with him if you haven't yet. He is not a good person. Please remove him completely from your life. You can do so much better.

I mean I cannot imagine how awful that would be- I've never been in that situation thank goodness and so I cannot imagine the emotional turmoil and all the rest..  Just to be clear -I didn't mean I cannot imagine a man saying that to his pregnant partner.  Unfortunately, it does happen and I'm sorry!! I'm sorry it happened to you.  I was with a man who said he'd want me to abort if I got pregnant and I stupidly kept having sex with him knowing no, I would not.  Luckily I was fine -used BC etc- in hindsight I'm sorry I tolerate that.

[tattoobunnie]

If you look up in the dictionary, "garbage person," there will be a picture of him.  Please move on, and never ever touch him or talk to him again. Block him on everything.  He is so disrespectful with no empathy. I have been in your shoes!