I can't paint right now, and it's stressing me out.

[Cynder]

I don't expect everyone to have a simple answer to this because there probably isn't one. 

I haven't painted anything since June.  I'm a porfessional artist, so this is a problem.  I have a fine art degree.  My work has been in multiple galleries.  I've done multiple book and album covers.  (Even though album covers are a thing of the past in a way because most people don't buy physical media anymore, but they are still used online for promotion, etc.)  I've also been traveling around selling my work on the festival circuit for almost ten years.  (I started in 2014, this upcoming season will be year ten for me.) 

I write, too.  And I've always told people I paint when I'm happy and I write when I'm miserable.  There is this misconception that artists are brooding people who need to suffer a lot for their work, etc.  That's not true at all.  Most of the artists I know (me included) do our best work when we are happy.

Not all art is deep and personal either.  Every work of art isn't the artist working through some trauma or emotional turmoil.  Artists do work for all kinds of reasons.  Some art is create just to sell.  Some artist create things they are interested in.  Like, if an artist really loves owls, and they paint a lot of pictures of owls, that's just because they love owls.  It's not symbolic.  It's not a manifestation of something deep and dark inside them, etc. 

I was in a loving relationship (probably the most healthy relationship I've ever been in) for a time, and then my SO got really depressed.  I was with him for months watching his mental health deteriorate.  And my mental health tanked in the process.  Now I still get texts from people he is close to telling me how much he still loves and misses me, etc.  I still love and miss him too.  But I know it's not possible to be with him.  At least not right now. 

But, this was what initially made it really hard for me to paint.  And I decided I was really going to take advantage of this misery and write all I could while I was in the headspace for it.  And now I'm not miserable anymore, and I still can't bring myself to paint anything. 

I made it my goal in July of 2023, to release a novel by July of 2024.  I finished drafting the novel I've been working on for years the other night.  And the first half of it is completely revised and edited.  (I've been revising/editing the earlier chapters as I wrote the later chapters.)  So, on some level, knowing that it's this close to done is what keeps me coming back to it.  I feel like I have to go until I finish, and that leaves no time for painting.  I already work a day job, as most creatives do.  There are only so many hours in the day. 

I picked up a paintbrush for the first time since June the other night and was able to get a single color background painted.  I was off for four days this weekend, and I told myself, I'm going to paint this weekend.  And that's all I got done. 

I have a Gallery show in February.  I have all the paintings for it about 50% done.  I really need to snap out of whatever is going on here and make myself do it.  I can't just not do the show. 

I know everyone here isn't my therapist and there's a lot to this.  But I just figured maybe talking about it here might bring a different perspective, idk.  Thanks in advance to anyone who has anything to say. 

[Wiseman2]

It seems like a sort of writers block that creative people and artists get from time to time. Sometimes it's hard to find inspiration or a muse. It may seem counterintuitive, but stop trying for a while. Whenever I get stuck in something (I'm not an artist) I take a break from it entirely and revisit it at another time. Sometimes I listen to classical music. Don't ask me why but it seems to reset my brain and it's sort of a break from everything how it is today.  You know, all the noise and cacophony of the world. It sort of gives me a break from that.

[Batya33]

I have no idea if this is a thing but do artists get together to collectively paint - I don't mean to paint a nude model or other model but just be together like paint and sip but for "real" artists.  Might that help you??

[Cynder]

29 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I have no idea if this is a thing but do artists get together to collectively paint - I don't mean to paint a nude model or other model but just be together like paint and sip but for "real" artists.  Might that help you??

I'm sure that happens.  There are art fusion events where a bunch of artists will get together and all start with a canvas, and then every half hour or whatever they switch canvases with someone else. 

I would love to do stuff like that, but since I don't drive it makes it hard to get anywhere outside of my city.  And usually when things like that are happening, they are happening an hour away. 

I could see if some of my artist friends might want to do it over the summer or something. 

[ShySoul]

My artistic ability is limited to adult coloring books/posters, so I'm far from an expert on this. But I find that any time I'm stuck or lack motivation on something it really is best to set it aside and not force it. Eventually I get the itch to try it again and come back refreshed and motivated to get back into it. I think finishing up a book is a pretty good accomplishment, so it's not like you've been ignoring your creative endeavors entirely. Between that and what you've experienced emotional, it's no wonder you might be drained. So don't beat yourself up over this.

Is the Gallery show on a specific topic? Or can you still change up what you are showing? Maybe there is a way to channel your block and/or fustration into the paintings? You are the artist, and I talented individual, so I'm sure you could figure out something.

Also, as one of those people who still prefers to buy physical media, I thank you for your work. One reason I buy it is because I like seeing the covers or flipping through album booklet. If everything becomes digital, it just feels too cold and distant to me. Think there is something to be said for actual physical copies.

[Cherylyn]

I hope you continue to resume painting and writing. 

In my experience,  whenever I've delved into my projects whether work or hobbies requiring a lot of skill and concentration,  I had forgotten whatever ailed me.  At least my troubles diminished due to lack of brain space for anything unjust.

Industrious distractions are positive productivity.  👍 🤗

[Batya33]

Also reminded me -I was a dual major in college, one was English lit with a creative writing concentration -had a fiction writing prof who said if you have writer's block take a long hot bath.  Perhaps same for painting?

[Cynder]

8 hours ago, ShySoul said:

My artistic ability is limited to adult coloring books/posters, so I'm far from an expert on this. But I find that any time I'm stuck or lack motivation on something it really is best to set it aside and not force it. Eventually I get the itch to try it again and come back refreshed and motivated to get back into it. I think finishing up a book is a pretty good accomplishment, so it's not like you've been ignoring your creative endeavors entirely. Between that and what you've experienced emotional, it's no wonder you might be drained. So don't beat yourself up over this.

Is the Gallery show on a specific topic? Or can you still change up what you are showing? Maybe there is a way to channel your block and/or fustration into the paintings? You are the artist, and I talented individual, so I'm sure you could figure out something.

Also, as one of those people who still prefers to buy physical media, I thank you for your work. One reason I buy it is because I like seeing the covers or flipping through album booklet. If everything becomes digital, it just feels too cold and distant to me. Think there is something to be said for actual physical copies.

I don't want to seem like I'm just rejecting any advice that is given.  Because you're right, setting something aside is the best thing to do when you're stuck.  But I don't have that option.  It's crunch time.  I have 5 weeks to squeeze out 15 gallery worthy paintings.  I an bit starting out from scratch with any of them though.  They are all in progress.  They've all been set aside for 6months.  I'm scared that I"m just never going to get my groove back. 

There's no specific topic.  I am the featured artist, so the topic is just my work.  That is a good thing because I don't stick to themes very well. 

And yes, finishing this book was huge.  It's been in my head since 2021.  For a long time it was just something I did for myself.  I never thought it would be finished and I had no plans on publishing it.  But I started thinking, if I don't put it out there, some day when I'm dead, this whole world I created and all these characters will die with me and no one will ever know they existed.  It's not like with paintings, where I will die and they will still be here.  If I don't publish any of my writing on some level, it will all die with me.  And considering my genetics, I don't have much time left.  I will probably be dead in less that ten years. So there is this sense of urgency with my writing. 

After my recent ex and I split up I wrote a whole novel in 3 weeks.  I wrote another whole novel in November for NaNo.  But the one I just finished means more to me on a personal level.  There are a lot of aspects of my life in it.  There's a character who has alcoholic parents.  There's a character who is sexually assaulted and then not taken seriously when they tell, etc.  It's like so much of the crap I've been through came out on the page.  But it's fiction. 

I love physical media.  I have physical copies of all the stuff I've done cover art for.  But I also still have all my CDs from high school, etc.  I remember when I was a kid every adult I knew had a lot of records., like vinyl, old school, displayed somewhere in their house.  Now people my age all have a lot of cds on a shelf somewhere in their house. 

Anyway, I need to get to bed.  Thanks for your reply.  I always like it when you pop into my threads, fellow old timer, lol. 

[Cynder]

4 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Also reminded me -I was a dual major in college, one was English lit with a creative writing concentration -had a fiction writing prof who said if you have writer's block take a long hot bath.  Perhaps same for painting?

I miss those.  I haven't had a tub in 7 years.  Long hot showers are pretty amazing too, though. 

[ShySoul]

The other thing that helps me is not having a choice in the matter. When it's crunchtime and I have way to much work and not enough time, I go into machine mode and just get it done. Take just enough time to make sure it's accurate and complete (work with numbers all day so accuracy is kind of important), then forget it and move onto the next task. So I'd say just set aside the time, pick one painting to start, and just go. Don't think, just paint and see where it goes. If you're the featured artist, you must have done something right in the past. So trust your skills and don't think about the deadline, the pressure, or anything else. Paint because you like to paint. You've still got the groove, just have to stop worrying about it and feel it.

Okay, pep talk over. That probably didn't help at all, but hope it made you smile at least. I know you can do it. Also good to you from you old timer. 

[catfeeder]

It might be hard to break your barrier because you don't want to mess up any of the work you've laid down. Consider taking your most inspiring piece to use as a model, and start roughing it out from scratch, maybe with a different spin on it. If you get the urge at any time to move over to the original, do that. Otherwise, stay with the new composition but consider it an experimental work that you can mess up without penalty and call it a warm up.

You may find this a way to do a fresh take that pulls you into the new piece on its own merit and removes whatever bad vibes you may have feared about revisiting your older work. Or, it can frustrate you enough to be redoing what you've already done, and this can push you onto the original canvas.

Another option might be to take your least favorite piece and decide that you can't really make it worse--you already don't love it. So your challenge is to mess with it enough to make yourself love it, even if you deviate significantly from your original vision.

You may also want to consider this thread as an accountability thing. Hah! Kinda like reporting your progress with the writing--only instead of having what's-her-name from that group pressing you for word counts, you have your friends here rooting for you to come back and tell us some good news!

No pressure, Cynder!

 

[1a1a]

Could you try treating painting like nanowrimo? Have a week where you have to be painting for x time every day. 

[Cynder]

On 12/28/2023 at 12:22 AM, catfeeder said:

It might be hard to break your barrier because you don't want to mess up any of the work you've laid down. Consider taking your most inspiring piece to use as a model, and start roughing it out from scratch, maybe with a different spin on it. If you get the urge at any time to move over to the original, do that. Otherwise, stay with the new composition but consider it an experimental work that you can mess up without penalty and call it a warm up.

You may find this a way to do a fresh take that pulls you into the new piece on its own merit and removes whatever bad vibes you may have feared about revisiting your older work. Or, it can frustrate you enough to be redoing what you've already done, and this can push you onto the original canvas.

Another option might be to take your least favorite piece and decide that you can't really make it worse--you already don't love it. So your challenge is to mess with it enough to make yourself love it, even if you deviate significantly from your original vision.

You may also want to consider this thread as an accountability thing. Hah! Kinda like reporting your progress with the writing--only instead of having what's-her-name from that group pressing you for word counts, you have your friends here rooting for you to come back and tell us some good news!

No pressure, Cynder!

 

I decided to take my most hated painting out of them all, and block off a big triangle section of the canvas with frog tape (Really good painter's tape.)  I painted that triangle completely different than the rest of the canvas.  

I don't want to speak too soon but I think this might be something that gets me back in it, because now I'm thinking of all the things I can do with frog tape. 

And I probably will use this thread for accountability.  Because when I have someone/something holding me accountable is when I do my best.  I was stuck on one chapter of the novel for over a month, and I asked my mentor to give me a deadline to finish it.  Once I had a deadline I finished it. 

I always tell clients to give me a deadline, too.  Because if a client wants a painting "whenever" it might take me a month or more.  If they say they want it in two weeks, I'll get it done in two weeks. 

I don't know why I can't hold myself accountable like this. 

[catfeeder]

3 hours ago, Cynder said:

I don't know why I can't hold myself accountable like this. 

Hah! Well, you kind of do. You booked a date to show your paintings, and you have x paintings to finish before then. So how many will you need to complete each week?

[Cynder]

31 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Hah! Well, you kind of do. You booked a date to show your paintings, and you have x paintings to finish before then. So how many will you need to complete each week?

Right, that is one way of looking at it. 

I also made it a goal to release my novel by July of 2024, and I've stuck to that. 

I need 15 Paintings for the show.  I think tomorrow I'm going to go through all of them and decide which ones need to most work, and which ones need the least work.  There are some that need a lot done to them before they are up to my standard, and then there are some that just need some touching up.  So I'll be able to prioritize what needs done by when.  I also need to write up an artist statement, etc... 

For the last 3 hours I've just been building the layers on this painting using frog tape.  This is a fun process but it does slow things down because I have to weight until every section is perfectly dry before moving on to the next section.  I can't peel the tape off when it's still wet. 

I know I can pull this together.  I hope the curator is happy with what I bring her.  She is the one who wanted to feature me, so obviously she likes my work. 

I am also trying to not be too hard on myself for not getting everything done sooner.  I have felt called to write for the last 6 months and that's what I've done.  It's not like I haven't done anything at all.  Writing three novels isn't exactly slacking. 

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, catfeeder said:

Hah! Well, you kind of do. You booked a date to show your paintings, and you have x paintings to finish before then. So how many will you need to complete each week?

Yes and what about bribing yourself as far as accountability or "if I don't finish in ___ time I have to give ____ to ____ charity"

[catfeeder]

14 hours ago, Cynder said:

This is a fun process but it does slow things down because I have to weight until every section is perfectly dry before moving on to the next section.  I can't peel the tape off when it's still wet. 

...and you can do the touchups on another canvas while waiting for paint to dry.

(((dUcking!)))

...just saying. 🙂

 

[Batya33]

47 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

...and you can do the touchups on another canvas while waiting for paint to dry.

(((dUcking!)))

...just saying. 🙂

 

Better duck -I hear that tape is impossible to remove .... from one's mouth ..... 😉

[Cynder]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

Better duck -I hear that tape is impossible to remove .... from one's mouth ..... 😉

Considering it creates razor sharp lines and paint does not bleed at all, it's not that sticky.  lol

[Cynder]

2 hours ago, catfeeder said:

...and you can do the touchups on another canvas while waiting for paint to dry.

(((dUcking!)))

...just saying. 🙂

 

No need to ***, lol.  I actually do this when I am really active.  If I am at a standstill on one I work on something else. 

I got a lot done today for my first four hours awake.  I decided to relax for the rest of the night.  It's a holiday and I am actually feeling down tonight.  Last year I was with D on NYE and that was the night Noodles passed away.  It started the downward spiral. 

We had such high hopes for 2023.  We were both anticipating an amazing festival season.  Last year we talked about that being our first NYE together.  I guess it was our only NYE together. It's hard to not think about that tonight when I'm sitting at home alone.  

Other than releasing my book, I don't really have high hopes for 2024.  High expectations lead to disappointment in the end.  

I did get a lot done on the painting I started reworking last night, though.  And I placed a sample order of all 20 of my magnet designs.  Since I discovered a new source, I wanted to make sure they all look good before I do any bulk orders.  That took some time because I had to resize them all.