Yays and Nays

[boltnrun]

I've been sleeping really well lately, so I got cocky and didn't take anything to help me sleep last night. So naturally I only got three hours of sleep, and today is an office day.

Today is going to suck.

I do enjoy hearing the fog horn. Some people complain about it but it just reminds me of how close I get to live to the ocean. So I love hearing it. 

[boltnrun]

I'm so freaking exhausted. I'm seriously nervous about driving home after work. And I won't ask again for my manager to let.me go home early. I've shared enough about my health issues with him and I want to keep this job.

[Batya33]

Wishing you the best and to feel better. 

[boltnrun]

Thank you.

So my doctor ordered a sleep study which I am doing at home. It's interesting. I was so exhausted yesterday I turned off the light at 9:00 pm and got up at just after 5:00 am. I probably got almost 8 hours of sleep which is extremely rare. I have to record data for two more nights. I'm curious to know what kind of conclusion the study will come to. 

[boltnrun]

So my A1c is 5.5 but my blood glucose is still high at 101.  Not super high, but it's still high.  It would appear I am not diabetic or pre-diabetic but I'll see if the doctor wants me to continue avoiding sugar.  My blood glucose was 105 a few months ago so it seems reducing my sugar intake by about 75% has had a good effect.

My cholesterol is slightly high although my triglycerides are low.  I admit to not being super good at avoiding certain foods although I do not eat fast food and almost never eat fried food.  But I do eat things like burger patties (plain, no cheese, cooked in the oven) and pork chops (baked) and baked or braised chicken.  And I snack on crackers (usually Triscuits) and sugar free protein bars and cookies.  And I do eat sugar free ice cream and pie. Probably should cut down on that.  But my overall risk is at the "low" level. 

[boltnrun]

It's going to be very interesting when the sleep study results are in. Thursday night I slept a lot because I was so exhausted. Last night my sleep was of poor quality, mainly because it's super cloudy and potentially going to rain and my body always aches before it rains so it's hard for me to get comfortable enough to sleep. We'll see how tonight goes.

Tomorrow my brother and I are picking up my cousin's brother and taking him out to lunch. He's the brother of my cousin who passed away recently. He lives in a group home because has Down's Syndrome. He absolutely adores my brother so he should be excited to see him. We are making a point to take him out every so often so he knows even though his entire immediate family is gone we won't forget about him. 

[boltnrun]

I'm watching racing and for some reason it reminded me of this:

My son is a very large man. Several inches over six feet and built like an offensive lineman. One time years ago he was driving home from college. Apparently some man thought my son cut him off (which in this area is an unforgivable offense in some people's minds) so he followed him, yelling and road raging. When my son stopped his car at home this guy stopped next to him and got out of his car, demanding my son also get out. So my son thought "OK" and got out. This man saw this giant getting out of his car. His eyes slowly scanned upward and upward. My son towered over him by six inches or more. So this road rage guy just said "Um, yeah, yeah!" and ran back to his car, jumped in and drove away. He obviously realized he had chosen to mess with the wrong guy. Funny thing is, my son is a gentle giant. He seldom loses his temper. He can remain completely calm while stuck in standstill traffic for hours. He's super chill. But he's just so physically huge, he's intimidating without intending to be. That guy probably thought my son would annihilate him. Which he probably could have if he chose to.  And if someone makes him mad? Hoo boy, better watch out. I have seen him lose his temper. He can string together curse words like no one else. And if he's towering over someone he can be scary. But someone has to really do something bad to make him angry. His spouse was assaulted a couple of years ago and I know if he'd been present those people would have had serious damage. He's very protective of his loved ones. 

[boltnrun]

My brother and I love each other but like a lot of family we also drive one another nuts. 

Conversation yesterday at the restaurant:

Me: This iced tea is so strong, but my options are limited when I can't have sugar. 

Brother: How about lemonade?

Me: Lemonade has sugar.

Brother: What about fresh squeezed lemonade?

Me: That still has sugar.

Brother: (raises voice) I mean FRESH SQUEEZED lemonade.

Me: It still has sugar.

Brother: (now almost shouting)I said FRESH SQUEEZED. They squeeze the lemons right in front of you!

Me: That still has sugar.

Brother: (still almost shouting) NEVER MIND ABOUT THE SUGAR! I mean, they just squeeze the lemons and give it to you!

Me: That wouldn't be lemonade. That would be lemon juice and no one wants to drink plain lemon juice. 

(BTW, fresh lemons were not even available at this restaurant. That would be weird.)

Brother: Oh...

As the old saying goes, Oh Brother!

[Batya33]

In My Big Fat Greek Wedding the Aunt is horrified that the boyfriend "don't eat no meat!"  So she considers for awhile and says calmly.  "OK I make lamb!"

(And yes fresh squeezed OJ shouldn't have added sugar -but fresh squeezed lemonade - um yup)

[boltnrun]

I think he was thinking about orange juice. But he just got so agitated! Like, he thought I was being deliberately obtuse when the fact is what he was saying made no sense. I have noticed he has been forgetting a lot of things lately. We had talked for over two weeks about taking our cousin out to lunch on Sunday but suddenly on Friday he messaged me to ask what day we were going. He and I had also had a long phone conversation about how I got a credit on my electric bill. Two days later he sent me a text saying "Look, they are giving credits on electric bills. Here's a link in case you want to find out more." Both times I reminded him we had talked about those things already and he acted like he didn't remember. This has been going on for a couple of years. But he hates doctors and gets angry if I even suggest he see a doctor. 

[Seraphim]

I guess he doesn’t realize citrus fruits are very high in sugar. 

[boltnrun]

20 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I guess he doesn’t realize citrus fruits are very high in sugar. 

His diet is what people used to think was "healthy" back in the 1960s and 1970s. Meat, meat and more meat. Fruit is something you eat only when someone forces you. His ideal meal is a huge slab of meat covered in cheese and sour cream accompanied by rice, tortillas and store bought canned green beans. First course is an iceberg lettuce salad covered in croutons and a quart of bleu cheese dressing. He does drink a lot of water and he exercises regularly so I'll give him that.

Today my skip level manager took the new hire around to meet everyone. I'm sure he noticed my revulsion when he shook my hand. I wish that practice could be completely abolished. It's just gross. 

[boltnrun]

Once again unable to sleep. I got maybe about 4 hours. No reason why. Thankfully it's a WFH day. I'm in my pajamas. Not the best but not much else I can do. 

[boltnrun]

I'm tempted to show up at work tomorrow in a wife beater and pajama bottoms. And bedroom slippers. 

[boltnrun]

I slept last night. It was glorious. I got about 6 1/4 hours and it felt amazing. Slept through to my alarm too which is rare. It's agonizing getting through in office days when I don't sleep so this is great.

[Batya33]

Best feeling. So glad !

[boltnrun]

I keep seeing stories of young people taking their own lives because they were rejected by one or both parents after they told them they were gay or lesbian. I can't fathom ever rejecting my own child, who I have loved since I knew he was conceived, just because he loves a man. It's heartbreaking. 

[Seraphim]

On 4/19/2024 at 5:45 PM, boltnrun said:

I keep seeing stories of young people taking their own lives because they were rejected by one or both parents after they told them they were gay or lesbian. I can't fathom ever rejecting my own child, who I have loved since I knew he was conceived, just because he loves a man. It's heartbreaking. 

I can’t either. I would love my child no matter what. 

[boltnrun]

I've sacrificed space to live in an absolutely amazing neighborhood. My apartment is postage stamp sized but the location! My brother was out here a couple of weeks ago and I was driving through on the way to pick up our cousin and he was exclaiming about all the neat little shops and cafes and how close I am to the beach. He said "You could eat at a different cafe every day for a month! And you could walk to all of them!" And I said "Yep, and that's why I put up with living in this tiny little apartment." Sure, I would like more space and I'd like to have a designated parking space and I would REALLY like to get a cat, but I don't want to give up this location. Maybe something will come available that has parking and allows pets but for now I'm content. 

[Batya33]

45 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I've sacrificed space to live in an absolutely amazing neighborhood. My apartment is postage stamp sized but the location! My brother was out here a couple of weeks ago and I was driving through on the way to pick up our cousin and he was exclaiming about all the neat little shops and cafes and how close I am to the beach. He said "You could eat at a different cafe every day for a month! And you could walk to all of them!" And I said "Yep, and that's why I put up with living in this tiny little apartment." Sure, I would like more space and I'd like to have a designated parking space and I would REALLY like to get a cat, but I don't want to give up this location. Maybe something will come available that has parking and allows pets but for now I'm content. 

I've did the same when I moved 9 miles from my parents home into the major heart of the city instead of in a borough and was totally worth it -same reasons.  And we now live with our son in a 2 bedroom/2 bath instead of a large house for very similar reasons.  I'm glad you made that choice!  The gorgeous park down the block which is a lot like Central Park in NYC is the backyard we share with thousands and we too are in the middle of a restaurant and shopping and arts and culture area -all within walking distance like yours.  Enjoy!

[boltnrun]

And what's even better is, although there are lots of things nearby the neighborhood is still very quiet. And very clean. The streets are wide and filled mostly with gorgeous early 1900s era single family homes on large lots. My apartment used to be a single family home with servants quarters. My apartment used to be the servant's quarters! They divided them into four studio apartments and the large owners home is now one big single family home with a small apartment wedged into one corner of it. The grounds are lovely. And when I go on walks I can choose to walk among the vintage homes or along he Beach or to the cute shopping and dining district. It's just great.

Is your city location quiet or is it a more bustling, active neighborhood?

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

And what's even better is, although there are lots of things nearby the neighborhood is still very quiet. And very clean. The streets are wide and filled mostly with gorgeous early 1900s era single family homes on large lots. My apartment used to be a single family home with servants quarters. My apartment used to be the servant's quarters! They divided them into four studio apartments and the large owners home is now one big single family home with a small apartment wedged into one corner of it. The grounds are lovely. And when I go on walks I can choose to walk among the vintage homes or along he Beach or to the cute shopping and dining district. It's just great.

Is your city location quiet or is it a more bustling, active neighborhood?

Oh that sounds lovely ! We live in the middle of a bustling active neighborhood in a major city . I’ve never lived for more than a few months at a time in any different environment.  And only a few times. 

[boltnrun]

I tried living in a busy neighborhood. I lived smack in the middle of downtown directly off one of the major streets in my city. And I had to move away because it was so noisy it was nearly impossible to participate in Teams calls. I had to keep saying "sorry, another siren, sorry, someone's burning rubber, sorry, there's people outside my window having a loud conversation". Here it's quiet and peaceful yet still within walking distance to almost everything I want. If I want to go downtown I just drive there. 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I tried living in a busy neighborhood. I lived smack in the middle of downtown directly off one of the major streets in my city. And I had to move away because it was so noisy it was nearly impossible to participate in Teams calls. I had to keep saying "sorry, another siren, sorry, someone's burning rubber, sorry, there's people outside my window having a loud conversation". Here it's quiet and peaceful yet still within walking distance to almost everything I want. If I want to go downtown I just drive there. 

I can totally see that -since I was born into this environment and always lived this way I actually don't like when it's too quiet and I'm good at navigating around huge crowds of people.  As I get older I'm more sensitive to loud/sudden noises especially in our apartment -my teenager, etc.  

And all of a sudden I noticed -in a negative way -all the crowds when I was pushing a stroller in my 40s!

[boltnrun]

So today is a "nay" day. Detailed health issue description to follow. You are warned!

I have a medical condition that affects my digestive system. It causes extreme swings between diarrhea and constipation. If I'm lucky I get a week or two when things move along normally. I was unable to "go" on Tuesday and Wednesday. This is very dangerous for me. So I took some stool softeners which proved ineffective. Finally late yesterday evening I was able to go a little bit but definitely didn't get it all out. So I decided to work from home today as I didn't want to either struggle to go or unload at work. With the increase in people working in the office we went from three women on our floor to about 12 so I almost never have the bathroom to myself, which makes having explosive diarrhea very embarrassing. Anyway, in addition to being stopped up I couldn't sleep last night so I'm exhausted. Fortunately I "went" this morning, but I'm still horribly tired. Ugh.

When I did get a couple of hours of sleep I had the weirdest dreams. The first one was a horror dream about being in a driveway when someone was backing a large trailer in and they didn't see me. So I had to leap into some bushes to avoid getting crushed. Doesn't sound scary but it was. The other dream was about my teeth. I have a lot of trouble with my teeth, all self-inflicted. I had dental insurance for years but never used it and I ate Mentos chewy candies every day for years. Totally destroyed my teeth. I've had multiple extractions and will need a bridge at some point (implants are far beyond my budget and insurance doesn't cover them). So in this dream I had several teeth that were loose and about to fall out so I just pulled them. The only good part of the dream is my mom was there and she was telling me to stop pulling my teeth out. Also a very weird dream. So the few hours I got were not restful. So today is not a good day. But it's not the worst either.

I may need to pick a different place to vacation next week. I was planning to go up to the mountains but it's supposed to be only 55 degrees. I don't really want to be walking around the village in cold weather. I'll decide early in the week if I need to change it to another location. But definitely want to do a trip.