Is it stange that I enjoyed this?

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

lol no, that is not my intent. I'm trying to understand if my reaction to the 9/11 tragedy was normal on some level. Everyone either seems to think it was highly odd OR they understand that it gave me a sense of importance and belonging. 

No it’s not normal to feel a sense of belonging with millions who were alive and aware of a tragic event of this magnitude.  I don’t feel important that I watched princess Diana’s wedding on TV but - since it was a happy event at the time it would be fun to reminisce with people who also watched it. 
The other problem is that if you share how cool you think it is that you were alive at that time you have no idea if the listener lost someone that day or knew of such a loss. Or is sensitive to hearing about such tragic events. Why risk it so you can be self-important?

It’s sad you need this sort of random thing - the randomness of you happening to be alive when it happened- to feel at all important or like part of history. It’s sad. 

Did you know there was also a bombing in 1993 at WTC?  My husband who I hadn’t yet met was on the phone making lunch plans with his friend who worked jn the building.  Then the friend said all of a sudden they heard a weird noise and they were being told to leave. 
I was in a subway station about to go to my part time job during grad school and I heard something about it. But I didn’t work downtown. So I went. And all day we were told it wasn’t an intentional attack so we stayed at work about four miles away. Found out later. 
OP did you even know about 1993?? You who feel so important about 9-11-you say you care a lot and your dad was a firefighter- do you even know it was the second such event ?  Obviously of much greater magnitude but lives were lost then. 

We’re away and were driving a long distance so I asked him again about 1993. We’d spoken about it in the past and I totally forgot his story but knew he’d worked nearby.  He didn’t sound like he felt important at all. He just reminded me of the phone call with his friend. 

 

[MissCanuck]

You seem to recognize that a lot of what you post will make people think you are "weird" - and you appear to devise it that way, and revel in it.  

My strong impression (which you probably won't like) is that you come here and think up the strangest things to post so people pay attention to you and interact on your threads. 

It's attention-seeking behaviour. 

[boltnrun]

I personally know someone who was a victim in the Boston Marathon bombing. He was severely injured. I lived in a city where a tragic and terrifying mass shooting took place that had extensive international media coverage. I personally survived a couple of earthquakes that resulted in the loss of many lives and extensive property damage.

None of that makes me "special", "important" or  makes me "belong" and I certainly don't "enjoy" these tragic events.

One thing I see you are outstanding at is ignoring the posts and questions that don't support your point of view. For example, I have asked twice if it's only tragedies that are "enjoyable" to you and you have not answered. Why is that? And do you in fact feel this sense of "belonging" only when it's a tragedy? Do you "enjoy" happy events? 

[Batya33]

13 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I personally know someone who was a victim in the Boston Marathon bombing. He was severely injured. I lived in a city where a tragic and terrifying mass shooting took place that had extensive international media coverage. I personally survived a couple of earthquakes that resulted in the loss of many lives and extensive property damage.

None of that makes me "special", "important" or  makes me "belong" and I certainly don't "enjoy" these tragic events.

One thing I see you are outstanding at is ignoring the posts and questions that don't support your point of view. For example, I have asked twice if it's only tragedies that are "enjoyable" to you and you have not answered. Why is that? And do you in fact feel this sense of "belonging" only when it's a tragedy? Do you "enjoy" happy events? 

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. I’m glad he has you in his life. 

[boltnrun]

45 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. I’m glad he has you in his life. 

Thanks. However he's not a friend. He's a former boss. He had wanted me to be his personal admin but I turned the job down and chose to remain in my department because I didn't feel I had the right kind of experience. I didn't see or communicate with him after I left the company (prior to the bombing). He was hospitalized for months and underwent multiple surgeries. His life was changed forever due to his extensive injuries.

(I don't want to claim to have more of a connection to him than I actually did.)

[midnightdeirdre]

11 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

You seem to recognize that a lot of what you post will make people think you are "weird" - and you appear to devise it that way, and revel in it.  

My strong impression (which you probably won't like) is that you come here and think up the strangest things to post so people pay attention to you and interact on your threads. 

It's attention-seeking behaviour. 

I wouldn’t say I’m attention-seeking. I just have all these memories of my odd behavior (which I don’t view as odd) and I’d like to see if neurotypical people can affirm my behavior was autistic/not normal OR if it was all right that I acted the way that I did.

[midnightdeirdre]

3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I have asked twice if it's only tragedies that are "enjoyable" to you and you have not answered. Why is that? And do you in fact feel this sense of "belonging" only when it's a tragedy? Do you "enjoy" happy events? 

Sorry I forgot to answer your question. Yes I feel a sense of “belonging” if it’s also a happy event. (I made sure I got up to watch Prince William and Harry’s weddings.)

[MissCanuck]

5 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

I just have all these memories of my odd behavior (which I don’t view as odd)

You must on some level, or it wouldn't occur to you to post about them in the first place. 

6 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

I’d like to see if neurotypical people can affirm my behavior was autistic/not normal OR if it was all right that u acted the way that I did

But you often argue with posters who try to point out where your behaviour is indeed inappropriate sometimes. I am not referring to this thread specifically, but it has happened in other threads of yours. You say you want to know if what you said or did was okay, and then get upset and defensive when posters tell you that your actions were sometimes not okay. 

This is why I maintain that these threads are primarily a way of getting attention rather than genuine questions on how you could have changed your approach in certain situations. You seem very resistant to the latter in many cases. 

[Sam1986]

On 12/16/2023 at 10:09 PM, Seraphim said:

I am thinking it might be poor choice of words . I think it is more of finding importance to her life as in saying “ I was alive when ….. “

Might definitely be.
I can relate to the feeling of excitement when something monumental goes down all over the news, but "enjoyment" is not a word I would use.
I did however get that feeling of excitement when both the covid pandemic hit and during the early stages of the invasion of Ukraine, and it's probably a very universal feeling based, based on how the media clearly know this in their 24/7 coverage of such events (because there is a clear mass market for it).

Only the OP knows what he or she means with the term "enjoy" unless specifying further.

[boltnrun]

23 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

Sorry I forgot to answer your question. Yes I feel a sense of “belonging” if it’s also a happy event. (I made sure I got up to watch Prince William and Harry’s weddings.)

I'm glad that happy and positive events are just as meaningful to you. 

[Jaunty]

2 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

I wouldn’t say I’m attention-seeking. I just have all these memories of my odd behavior (which I don’t view as odd) and I’d like to see if neurotypical people can affirm my behavior was autistic/not normal OR if it was all right that I acted the way that I did.

It's not really appropriate for people on an Internet forum to determine whether a poster's behavior is due to their specific atypicality / diagnosis / personality disorder / psychiatric issue - the list goes on - or whether it's just how they roll; their personality.

Of course that doesn't stop it.  It gets on my nerves how often everybody is trying to put a label on the behavior of a poster, or, worse, on the poster's partner, friend or family member based on the poster's perspective.   

You know you are autistic, and I'm sure that has contributed a lot to how you view the world, interact and process.   

Still, obviously you're aware that it's socially not really "cool" to celebrate the violent deaths of many people and all the terrible troubles associated with 9/11.  Otherwise, you would not have posed this to the group.

 

[Seraphim]

2 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

I wouldn’t say I’m attention-seeking. I just have all these memories of my odd behavior (which I don’t view as odd) and I’d like to see if neurotypical people can affirm my behavior was autistic/not normal OR if it was all right that I acted the way that I did.

Most neurotypical people don’t know what is autistic behaviour or not or understand it . They just know it is not how they do something.