Idk what to think about my bestfriend’s behavior towards my boyfriend😭

[Juliett]

I start by saying that before my boyfriend and I got together we were all friends and were part of a group with other guys.

Before we got together, there was a time when my boyfriend and I didn't even talk to each other because various things had happened between us and during this time he and my best friend bonded a lot.

He has always been a very outgoing guy with everyone so he gives a lot of confidence, but it is her behaviors that seem quite strange to me.
 She touches him a lot, she behaves clumsily and silly in front of him, when we are in group she doesn’t go out if at least he is not there because according to her he is the only one she really loves among our friends, when we are all in a group she wants to attract his attention, when she sees that he gives attention to me it almost seems to bother her, when her and I fought once she sends him messages to make me look like a fool. She is jealous of her friends and one night only her,my boyfriend and other friends went out and she didn’t tell me anything, today she replied to the story and wrote him something like "eh.. you and your girlfriend" almost in a jealous tone.

These are only a few of her behaviors,they seem weird to me but maybe I’m just thinking too much
Idk😭😭 what y’all think 
Should I be Worried ?

 

[MissCanuck]

This is your best friend?

She sounds like a meddling trouble-maker. You need to re-evaluate your definition of "friend" and distance yourself from her. 

How does your boyfriend respond when she acts this way? 

[Kwothe28]

Not a good best friend. And not a good boyfriend too. For the sake of yourself its best to get rid of both of them. As they both dont exhibit good and respectful behavior toward yourself. 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Juliett said:

Before we got together, there was a time when my boyfriend and I didn't even talk to each other because various things had happened between us and during this time he and my best friend bonded a lot. One night only her,my boyfriend and other friends went out and she didn’t tell me anything, 

How long have you been dating? How old is he? Do you two go out on one-on-one dates? Why is she hanging around you two this much? 

Why is your BF going out with her and not mentioning it?  Unfortunately it's seems like your BF is the problem. Does he have a crush on her?

 

[Juliett]

3 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

This is your best friend?

She sounds like a meddling trouble-maker. You need to re-evaluate your definition of "friend" and distance yourself from her. 

How does your boyfriend respond when she acts this way? 

I know my boyfriend is in love with me. For him she is just a friend. But as I said he gave confidence to all his friend and maybe she misunderstood his way of behaving 

[Juliett]

51 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long have you been dating? How old is he? Do you two go out on one-on-one dates? Why is she hanging around you two this much? 

Why is your BF going out with her and not mentioning it?  Unfortunately it's seems like your BF is the problem. Does he have a crush on her?

 

We’ve been together for 4 months and I know he is in love with me but I’m scared that she misunderstood his behaviors. He jokes a lot with all his friends and I believe his way of joking flatters her in some kind of way. 
I forgot to say that when she went out with my boyfriend and our other friends he told me but I couldn’t go out that night. The one who said nothing to me was her

[Juliett]

3 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Not a good best friend. And not a good boyfriend too. For the sake of yourself its best to get rid of both of them. As they both dont exhibit good and respectful behavior toward yourself. 

I know he loves me, he is perfect with me and our relationship is great but as I said I think she is the main problem. I think his way of joking flatters her and every time it seems like she seeks for more and more attention from him

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Juliett said:

 when she went out with my boyfriend and our other friends he told me but the one who said nothing to me was her

As long as your BF is honest with you that he went out with her, that's ok. She doesn't have to report to you.  He seems to like her attention and that's why he flirts with her. 

[Juliett]

28 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

As long as your BF is honest with you that he went out with her, that's ok. She doesn't have to report to you.  He seems to like her attention and that's why he flirts with her. 

Should I say something to him? What can I do?

[AndieA]

41 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

As long as your BF is honest with you that he went out with her, that's ok. She doesn't have to report to you.  He seems to like her attention and that's why he flirts with her. 

Dr. Phil said something one time that addresses this.  If you rob a bank and admit it, does that make it not a crime?  I would like to think if this BF is in love with the OP as she states, he would discourage this kind of behavior from other women, especially the OP's supposed best friend.  I agree with the posters that say she is NOT a friend.  There is no respect in her behavior.  

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Juliett said:

 I think his way of joking flatters her and every time it seems like she seeks for more and more attention from him

At 16 weeks dating, all you can do is step back and observe carefully. 

He's stoking the fire because he enjoys the attention. It's easier to blame your so-called "friend" , but your BF is enjoying her attention. 

It seems more like  "every time it seems like he seeks for more and more attention from her". 

[Batya33]

I think she is behaving inappropriately with your boyfriend.  I would use I statements. "I feel uncomfortable when you touch my boyfriend and flirt with him. I am glad we are all friends.  I would appreciate if you back off with the flirting.  Give her the chance to apologize and back off.  If your boyfriend is not responding that's fine.

Many years ago in my 20s I outrageously flirted with a classmate's boyfriend. He flirted with me first.  Suggestive comment.  I had NO idea he was dating my classmate.  So I flirted back -he was really cute! Then his girlfriend gives him a look -she was annoyed with him for flirting and realized I didn't know.  So I think it's fine if your bf acts "confident" but I'd be a wee bit mindful of whether his confidence is.... flirtatious.

[Juliett]

45 minutes ago, AndieA said:

Dr. Phil said something one time that addresses this.  If you rob a bank and admit it, does that make it not a crime?  I would like to think if this BF is in love with the OP as she states, he would discourage this kind of behavior from other women, especially the OP's supposed best friend.  I agree with the posters that say she is NOT a friend.  There is no respect in her behavior.  

What should I do? Should I talk to him? Just step back?

[AndieA]

48 minutes ago, Juliett said:

What should I do? Should I talk to him? Just step back?

I would at least tell him how he behaves with your best friend makes you feel bad and could he tone it down.   See how he reacts.  His reaction should be very telling.

[Kwothe28]

2 hours ago, Juliett said:

I think his way of joking flatters her and every time it seems like she seeks for more and more attention from him

And yet you just blame your supposed best friend. Again, they are both innapropriate. Innapropriate behavior wont stop with you talking to them. Morale codes dont break up that easily. His is that he is OK with your friend being like that to him. That wont stop with you telling him how you are not OK with it. Or even if you somehow manage to get rid of your best friend out of the equasion. If it isnt her, it would be some other girl. 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

And yet you just blame your supposed best friend. Again, they are both innapropriate. Innapropriate behavior wont stop with you talking to them. Morale codes dont break up that easily. His is that he is OK with your friend being like that to him. That wont stop with you telling him how you are not OK with it. Or even if you somehow manage to get rid of your best friend out of the equasion. If it isnt her, it would be some other girl. 

You're right - the bf also is acting inappropriately.  I agree.

[smackie9]

Communication is key but only in the right manner. You can say "I notice my friends behaviour when around you and you don't discourage it. This is making feel real uncomfortable." "I would feel better if you cut back on the "friendliness" and not give her that kind of joking attention." "I have a feeling she's getting the wrong impression from you, that she thinks you are flirting with her." "Maybe she's crushin on you, I dunno but she seems to make an effort to be around you all the time."

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Juliett said:

What should I do? Should I talk to him? Just step back?

Please go on one-on-one dates.  There's no reason you two need to be in lockstep with this so-called friend. Please just observe for now. Definitely don't bother saying anything to her. Your BF is the problem.

Be cautious about appearing jealous. Not only does it make you seem possessive, it's an ego boost for him on top of whatever he's getting out of flirting with her for attention. 

Observe and go out like a couple without her in tow. If he insists you hang out with her as a group, you'll have your answer. 

[MissCanuck]

9 hours ago, Juliett said:

He jokes a lot with all his friends and I believe his way of joking flatters her in some kind of way

What exactly does he say? 

Can you give us an example? 

[tattoobunnie]

Sounds like they hooked up before you both got together, and he keeps her on the hook.  I don't would not bank on him being a keeper.

[Jaunty]

If this girl is your "bestfriend" then you need better friends.  That said, the boyfriend is absolutely as much at fault here as the girl friend is.   Unwanted flirting is not really that difficult to shut down.  Obviously he's into it.