letting ex know about serious gf

[a_lifters_life]

Hi there,

IANAL however I wondered what you told your ex initially when you first began seeing someone (seriously) new ? What things specifically did you tell them? How long were you divorced?

I have a 4 year old son

I mentioned to my ex prior to my gf and my son meeting that they would be meeting, but this has turned into a litany of questions from my ex - many of which dont deal with my son at all e.g. whats your intentions with (girlfriend) ... have long have you been together

what has your experience been?

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, a_lifters_life said:

I mentioned to my ex prior to my gf and my son meeting that they would be meeting.

All your ex needs to know is that you're dating again and your son will be meeting this woman as "dad's friend" in a public playground.

Try to avoid conversations about each other's love lives. It's really not your ex's business if it doesn't concern your son directly and things like this woman is at your house when you have custody, etc. Keep the conversation on your son and his well-being.The rest is just nosiness you don't have to answer to.

As the father you have the right to do what you see fit on your custody time and don't need your ex's permission to pursue a life without her.

[boltnrun]

If I had intended for a man I was dating to be interacting with my children I would do their father the courtesy of introducing them. I did date after my divorce but I kept my kids separate from the men I dated because I didn't intend for them to be involved in my kids' lives. 

I would want to meet anyone who would be interacting with my kids but other than a quick meet to ensure I felt comfortable I wouldn't need anything beyond that. 

[MissCanuck]

41 minutes ago, a_lifters_life said:

mentioned to my ex prior to my gf and my son meeting that they would be meeting, but this has turned into a litany of questions from my ex - many of which dont deal with my son at all e.g. whats your intentions with (girlfriend) ... have long have you been together

I think these questions absolutely pertain to your son. 

I'm not a parent, but if I were, I would want to understand if my ex were introducing the child to someone too soon or to someone who is just a casual girlfriend. Kids struggle with these changes sometimes and it can be hard for them to adjust to a new person in a parent's life - and even worse if that person doesn't stick around. 

I don't see these questions are necessarily being nosy about your love life, but rather an attempt to evaluate the stability (or instability) it might bring to the child's life. 

[smackie9]

When a child is involved, the ex has every right to ask questions on who their child will be exposed to. It would be best to introduce the ex first to make her own assessment. And then discuss boundaries/expectations when having them involved with your son. Have to make sure you both are on the same page. 

[SooSad33]

You do have the right to date - but please make sure it's been a good while and you're just not wanting to rub it in her face etc.

It's fine to inform her that you do have a gf and you plan to introduce her to your child soon.  You do not have to answer anything more.

All of your interactions should be about the child ONLY. 

Her issue's are for her to figure out & work through.