Should I go out with this guy?

[amethystrose]

A few days ago, I got a follow request on Instagram from this guy. I believe he followed me because we both follow similar profiles. Anyway, he messaged me and said he thought I was gorgeous, we got to talking and found out we live in the same city and are interested in a lot of the same things. He asked me out, and I agreed. After snooping on his profile a bit more, I realized he’s good friends with this guy I was casually seeing about 7 months ago. It was definitely a situationship type thing. He ended it though, and now he’s back with his ex gf. Anyways, I’m not really sure how to go about this or if I am overthinking it. I know eventually he will find out I used to see his friend, but I’m not sure if it really matters or not? Should I bring it up? Should I not see him at all? I just feel like this is an awkward situation. 

[Coily]

Over thinking.

As you know this guy isn't a scammer, aka you know who he knows; albeit with a bit of complication; if you didn't know that history would you hesitate?

If you are comfortable meeting a stranger, then why not? I seriously doubt that it makes one bit of difference if you seeing his friend makes a difference. The only awkwardness is if you bring up the other guy. Run with your common interests.

[electricorchid]

I would go out with him, always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. But on one condition: DO NOT mention his friend specifically or the situationship but I would ask him (as your getting to know him), "Who are you in your group of friends?" or "Tell me about your friend group, etc." Just to get him to talk about how close he is to him IF he does bring him up but I would refrain from telling him about the situationship. 

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, amethystrose said:

A few days ago, I got a follow request on Instagram from this guy. I realized he’s good friends with this guy I was casually seeing.  now he’s back with his ex gf. 

How did he even come across your IG profile? Perhaps through his friend you had the situationship with? 

It seems like he got a people you know alert or his friend told him about you, so he figured he would slide into DMs to ask you out. 

Or do you believe it's a random coincidence that this friend contacted you after you and his friend ended things?

If you're interested it's fine to meet up. You don't have to go into your history with anyone, but he may already know.

[amethystrose]

I guess I am more confused on what to say if he brings him up in conversation. 

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, amethystrose said:

I guess I am more confused on what to say if he brings him up in conversation. 

"We hung out for a while and now it's over ". That's all.

[SooSad33]

It is something minor imo.  You fancy the guy?  Go for it!

The other one was a mismatch.  This one may not be 😉 

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, amethystrose said:

After snooping on his profile a bit more, I realized he’s good friends with this guy I was casually seeing about 7 months ago. It was definitely a situationship type thing. He ended it....

Hmmm....

50 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How did he even come across your IG profile? Perhaps through his friend you had the situationship with? 

I have the same question as Wise, sounds fishy.

Since the guy DM'd you out of the blue and he and your ex-FB are good friends, it would be naive to think he wasn't already aware of your "situationship" with his good friend and perhaps wanting a piece of the action?  No strings, casual sex?

Just me, but I don't date good friends of ex's and especially would not date a man who was good friends with an ex-casual FB who randomly reached out to me on SM.

Plenty of other fish in the sea as they say especially for attractive women like yourself.

Your call though. 

 

[catfeeder]

I would check first with the guy you know to find out if this stranger actually knows him, or whether he did a typical scammer move to get included in your mutual friend list to gain your trust.

If that kind of inquiry isn’t worth it to you, then I would block the stranger.

If we don’t look out for our own safety, nobody else will. Read up on romance scams, and unfortunately, even worse outcomes when people engage unsolicited requests by strangers through social media.

Has he asked you to move your conversation to a private platform yet?

[rainbowsandroses]

4 hours ago, amethystrose said:

After snooping on his profile a bit more, I realized he’s good friends with this guy I was casually seeing about 7 months ago. It was definitely a situationship type thing. 

I'm curious about what you found on his SM profile that led you to realize he and your ex are good friends?

[Lambert]

I also thought, if he is good friends with your ex fwb and he found you social media, it wasn't a coincidence. That he sought you out. 

If you're interested, go! Keep eyes open though. It's not a coincidence that you met. He could very well like you and be interested in you because of his friend.  He might have thought the friend was an idiot to end things. 

You just don't know enough right now. It's not a forgone conclusion that he is out for a hook up or fwb... 

Just be smart.  If you don't want another situationship, then make sure you don't get in one. 

Don't bring up the other guy at all and if he comes up,  the less said the better.  Some thing general, yes you know him, you met at (insert how you knew him not your situationship) 

your past is just that yours.  you don't have to disclose anything. 

 

[Cherylyn]

I agree with @Lambert.  Your past is your business.  Play it safe though.  Observe a lot.  Take it slow and remain very cautious because you never know whom you can trust in this day and age.  🙄  Make sure your radar is up.

[lostandhurt]

It is just a meet so don't overthink it.  Meet him in a public place that is safe and see what happens.  If you hit it off great, then you can deal with dating his friend a while back.  If it is a dud then nothing to deal with.

  If it does go well and you see him more just let the dating/friendship connection come out naturally.

I have a feeling he saw you on your ex's feed when you were dating and liked what he saw so he waited a while and then reached out on IG.  This may turn out to be one of those funny how we met stories.

 Lost

[rainbowsandroses]

19 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

I'm curious about what you found on his SM profile that led you to realize he and your ex are good friends?

OP, would you.mind answering this^ and have you decided what you're going to do? 

[shouldhavelearned]

Wouldn't do it

He wants you because of his friend and your ex