Fantastic offer

[Seraphim]

We were given a fabulous offer from my husband’s cousin, it is the offer of a house up where they live . It would be at very much below market price . It is a real fixer upper 😜🥴, but getting a house in this province under 800, 000-900,000 is impossible. 
 

PROS:

It would be our house we could leave to our son.

We need a home in six years when my husband leaves the military anyway.

We can bring my mother 

They have a job for me in their company.

 

Cons: 

We would have to leave my husband behind for may be up to six years. And we could see him on weekends.

When I mean fixer-upper, I mean it probably hasn’t been updated since the 50s
 

My son is against it, but he is against anything that’s different.

My mom is allergic to all animals and I have 2 cats. 
 

Would you take the offer ? 

[boltnrun]

Realistically, how do you honestly feel about being away from your husband for six years? I know both of you have dealt with various health issues. Would you feel comfortable knowing he's essentially on his own? What about when he experiences work stresses, would he be fine with not having you physically present to support him through those issues? And would he be concerned about your health issues and be comfortable with not being physically present?

Could you buy the home and go there on weekends to do or check in on the home repairs? Living in a home that's being renovated is stressful, especially when you're completely on your own (not saying you'd actually be all alone but the responsibility of supervising the repairs would be on you). My brother just had his home painted and had new flooring and window treatments installed and he was extremely stressed. 

I personally would buy the home but not make plans to live there until the renovations are mostly complete and your husband can be there full time.

[Kwothe28]

How much would you need to invest into renovating? You need to calculate that into the price before you invest. Because they are maybe not doing you a favor if you need to invest 100s thousands more into renovating the place. I can tell you that the houses, unlike appartments, require more care. That means continous investments so if it hasnt been updated since 50s you have very big work there. I would suggest to take some good repairman with you to appraise how much you would need to invest into renovating and fixing stuff. And then to see if the whole deal is good or not.

Also can you handle your mother and be without a husband(in a means that you would be long distance) for 6 years? And also, dont they have a shots against cat allergies?

[Cherylyn]

If the pros outweigh the cons,  yes,  I'd buy the house.  Would you be happy working for their company?  What will you be doing at the company?  Will you be caretaker for your mother should your mother live with you at the new house?  Are you willing to endure renovations,  noise,  racket and disruptions during renovations?  Are you wiling to live with your mother and is she fine with 2 cats despite her allergies?  Do you have ample money for renovations?  Prices have increased significantly for labor and materials.  Is your husband amenable to seeing his family only on weekends for 6 years?  Would you be ok with this arrangement?  Is it easy to pick up and move now?  Do you currently own a house?  Would you have to sell it before moving to the fixer upper?  All things to consider .  .  .  🤔

[Andrina]

Lots of good replies. One thing I was wondering is who will be your son's guardian when you and your husband pass away, and where does that person live according to your husband's cousin's province?

I will add that sometimes doing business with relatives can ruin a good, familial relationship if things go south. If you do go for the house, I'd definitely get the home inspected and not just rely on what the cousin says about it. For myself, I'd probably be more likely to take the deal if it involved 2 or less years of just seeing my hubby on weekends. I think 6 years would be way to long for me.

But of course, that's a decision you and your husband will have to come to a consensus on.

Does the cousin have an end date for this offer? Was the house recently vacated, or has it been vacant for years?

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Realistically, how do you honestly feel about being away from your husband for six years? I know both of you have dealt with various health issues. Would you feel comfortable knowing he's essentially on his own? What about when he experiences work stresses, would he be fine with not having you physically present to support him through those issues? And would he be concerned about your health issues and be comfortable with not being physically present?

Could you buy the home and go there on weekends to do or check in on the home repairs? Living in a home that's being renovated is stressful, especially when you're completely on your own (not saying you'd actually be all alone but the responsibility of supervising the repairs would be on you). My brother just had his home painted and had new flooring and window treatments installed and he was extremely stressed. 

I personally would buy the home but not make plans to live there until the renovations are mostly complete and your husband can be there full time.

Realistically we can’t pay for two homes at once . 
It would be very tough for all of us being apart but we have done it before for 5 years and now we are in a far better place in every way to be apart . My disease I can handle better without him there . 😅 He eats too much junk and brings it home and I can get tempted. His mental support that is more tricky . Right now he is on cloud nine with accolades about his work. All his meds are working well . 

[boltnrun]

Where would your husband live if you bought the house? Would the military provide housing for him in the bachelor barracks or something?

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

How much would you need to invest into renovating? You need to calculate that into the price before you invest. Because they are maybe not doing you a favor if you need to invest 100s thousands more into renovating the place. I can tell you that the houses, unlike appartments, require more care. That means continous investments so if it hasnt been updated since 50s you have very big work there. I would suggest to take some good repairman with you to appraise how much you would need to invest into renovating and fixing stuff. And then to see if the whole deal is good or not.

Also can you handle your mother and be without a husband(in a means that you would be long distance) for 6 years? And also, dont they have a shots against cat allergies?

My mom is just mobility challenged and mostly deaf. But she is sharp as a tack and presently fully cares for herself . I can look after her definitely . Just having a family with her will greatly improve her life . 
 

Even if we pay 100,000 in upgrades you still won’t get a house at this price or even an apartment. My mom pays $2000 a month for her apartment. It is 4000-5000 a month or more to rent a house . 
 

Below, is the average house price in Ontario, this house is 200,000 for us. 

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, Cherylyn said:

If the pros outweigh the cons,  yes,  I'd buy the house.  Would you be happy working for their company?  What will you be doing at the company?  Will you be caretaker for your mother should your mother live with you at the new house?  Are you willing to endure renovations,  noise,  racket and disruptions during renovations?  Are you wiling to live with your mother and is she fine with 2 cats despite her allergies?  Do you have ample money for renovations?  Prices have increased significantly for labor and materials.  Is your husband amenable to seeing his family only on weekends for 6 years?  Would you be ok with this arrangement?  Is it easy to pick up and move now?  Do you currently own a house?  Would you have to sell it before moving to the fixer upper?  All things to consider .  .  .  🤔

We don’t currently own , we live on base. It would be a chance to secure my son a home for his life . 

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, Andrina said:

Lots of good replies. One thing I was wondering is who will be your son's guardian when you and your husband pass away, and where does that person live according to your husband's cousin's province?

I will add that sometimes doing business with relatives can ruin a good, familial relationship if things go south. If you do go for the house, I'd definitely get the home inspected and not just rely on what the cousin says about it. For myself, I'd probably be more likely to take the deal if it involved 2 or less years of just seeing my hubby on weekends. I think 6 years would be way to long for me.

But of course, that's a decision you and your husband will have to come to a consensus on.

Does the cousin have an end date for this offer? Was the house recently vacated, or has it been vacant for years?

My son has no guardian presently . We have no family to care for him. He has no siblings . We would have to choose a guardian when it is time . He has his legal adulthood presently . 

[Seraphim]

5 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Where would your husband live if you bought the house? Would the military provide housing for him in the bachelor barracks or something?

Yes, it is called going on IR. They would pay for housing but not his food. But he could ask for a posting where we would be going because there is a base there. 

[Seraphim]

Oh someone mentioned the job, they own a school bus company and need me for the office . 

[shouldhavelearned]

You can't get the house in six years?

 

Or buy now and keep until then.

 

Go up and fix when and what you can 

[Seraphim]

3 minutes ago, shouldhavelearned said:

You can't get the house in six years?

 

Or buy now and keep until then.

 

Go up and fix when and what you can 

No, his cousin wants it out of her hair in less than a year. We also can’t float two places at once . Plus my mom will be gone in 6 years . She is already 77. 

[Cherylyn]

Go for it @Seraphim 👍

[catfeeder]

With husband’s health issues, job issues and suicidal tendencies, I wouldn’t opt to leave him alone for the bulk of each week— no way.

 If there is a way to manage this without doing that, I’d go for it.

Can husband get a discharge and move with you?

[Seraphim]

15 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

With husband’s health issues, job issues and suicidal tendencies, I wouldn’t opt to leave him alone for the bulk of each week— no way.

 If there is a way to manage this without doing that, I’d go for it.

Can husband get a discharge and move with you?

He doesn’t want a discharge he is 3 years away from a full lifetime pension . But at the same time this is a total golden goose scenario and secures our son’s future and the opportunity will never be there again . 
 

He is doing awesome and is fully recovered. This is our only chance to secure a life time home for us and our son. 

[boltnrun]

It seems like you've already decided to buy the house.

Is your husband in agreement with you? And how can you convince your son to be on board? Will he be able to see his friends and travel with them? How far from his friends will you be?

[Seraphim]

31 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

It seems like you've already decided to buy the house.

Is your husband in agreement with you? And how can you convince your son to be on board? Will he be able to see his friends and travel with them? How far from his friends will you be?

My husband wanted me on board the second it was offered. My son will be very hard to convince being Autistic change is not his thing in the slightest. He would never have to move again though . He won’t be able to see his friends he has made here anymore but I can drive him the 5 .5 hours to special events with his best friend . 

[boltnrun]

Last question...will you be able to remain where you are at least until the holiday season? I'm thinking about closing your business and giving your clients time to find alternative childcare. 

If I recall correctly, you are not particularly attached to where you're currently living so leaving probably won't bother you too much. 

[catfeeder]

18 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

He doesn’t want a discharge he is 3 years away from a full lifetime pension . But at the same time this is a total golden goose scenario and secures our son’s future and the opportunity will never be there again . 
 

He is doing awesome and is fully recovered. This is our only chance to secure a life time home for us and our son. 

Okay, I understand. Maybe I'd turn the purchase into a reno project even while I remained living with husband?

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Last question...will you be able to remain where you are at least until the holiday season? I'm thinking about closing your business and giving your clients time to find alternative childcare. 

If I recall correctly, you are not particularly attached to where you're currently living so leaving probably won't bother you too much. 

My contract states only two weeks notice of withdrawing services or the client withdrawing . 
 

I would need time though to bring up the major of our stuff other than the furniture. So I probably will have time to give notice that is more agreeable. We would go before Winter or after Spring because Winter is nasty up there . Average winter snow fall is about 10 feet or more . 

[Seraphim]

4 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Okay, I understand. Maybe I'd turn the purchase into a reno project even while I remained living with husband?

It would depend on how long she can continue to pay for this house sitting there empty . We can’t pay for two places at once . 

[catfeeder]

4 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

It would depend on how long she can continue to pay for this house sitting there empty . We can’t pay for two places at once . 

If you moved there and husband stayed put, wouldn’t that be two places?

[Seraphim]

5 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

If you moved there and husband stayed put, wouldn’t that be two places?

No, the military would be paying for his room just not his food and it would free up what we pay for this place .