Checking whatsapp = interest?

[lisa_pw]

Please help me settle this debate with my friend, it is driving me crazy.

My friend (24m) is completely head over heels for a girl (21f). He has her on whatsapp, and she has told him that she only downloaded whatsapp because of him and the only contact she has on it is him. The reason is because she mainly uses instagram.

They message occasionally but he doesn't want to seem too eager so he tries to resist texting her too much.

However, he checks whatsapp religiously to see if she is online. His reasoning is if she really likes him then she will go online to have a look at his messages. But I told him there's no reason for her to go online if she doesn't see any new messages. He is stubborn and refuses to see this.

Am I right in saying there's no reason for her to go online if she doesn't see any new messages or does he have a point in saying if she really likes him then she wojld check the chat even if there are no new messages?

[HeartGoesOn]

May I ask what this has to do with you?

[Kawhi]

5 minutes ago, HeartGoesOn said:

May I ask what this has to do with you?

same

[Wiseman2]

29 minutes ago, lisa_pw said:

he checks whatsapp religiously to see if she is online. 

Why is he stalking? Why can't he use IG?  Is this your BF? Are you @Kawhi ? It's confusing who has which problem.

[shouldhavelearned]

Call her and talk

Quit worrying about being online

[Kwothe28]

I mean its kinda unreliable way to gauge interest. Some people do check previous messages to see what other person wrote. For example women when they want to show messages to their girlfriends with "OMG you got to see what he sent to me" and stuff like that. But its unreliable. For example she told him she downloaded WhatsUp for him but she probably also has her other phone contacts there to and maybe messages them. 

Also, are you "21F" from the story? 

[Wiseman2]

On 8/1/2023 at 5:54 AM, Kawhi said:

I have her on whatsapp, that is what we used to communicate when we were in Japan.

On 8/1/2023 at 3:35 PM, lisa_pw said:

Update: he sent me messages saying he misses me

Are these stories related?

[Wiseman2]

Everyone in this scenario needs to review Whatsapp privacy settings to avoid all this confusion.:

"To change your Status privacy settings in WhatsApp, open the app and tap “Status”, then select “Privacy” (iPhone) or “⋮ > Status privacy” (Android). Select from options such as “My contacts,” “My contacts except,” or “Only share with.” "

[catfeeder]

Why bother him about it? How does it harm you?

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, lisa_pw said:

His reasoning is if she really likes him then she will go online to have a look at his messages. But I told him there's no reason for her to go online if she doesn't see any new messages. He is stubborn and refuses to see this.

Am I right in saying there's no reason for her to go online if she doesn't see any new messages or does he have a point in saying if she really likes him then she wojld check the chat even if there are no new messages?

Does he want to know if she is attracted to him romantically or does he want to know if she is interested in dating him? If she is interested in dating him she will agree to a date with enthusiasm (assuming she's like most women who most often don't ask for a date first) - and if he wants to know that it's not about Whatsapp -he should ask her out properly with a time and place plan in advance.  Then he won't have to get all mired down in this riduiculousness.  It reminds me of how in elementary school I had a crush on a boy and wrote him a letter and mailed it -over the summer most likely - and checked the mailbox every single day hoping for a response.  (No.).  It's gamemanship. Has nothing to do with his interest in her as a person or her interest in him.

If he simply wants to know if his infatuation is reciprocal but isn't interested in dating her that's really just a silly ego thing.

And why does it matter to you -at all?

[SherrySher]

7 hours ago, lisa_pw said:

Please help me settle this debate with my friend, it is driving me crazy.

My friend (24m) is completely head over heels for a girl (21f). He has her on whatsapp, and she has told him that she only downloaded whatsapp because of him and the only contact she has on it is him. The reason is because she mainly uses instagram.

They message occasionally but he doesn't want to seem too eager so he tries to resist texting her too much.

However, he checks whatsapp religiously to see if she is online. His reasoning is if she really likes him then she will go online to have a look at his messages. But I told him there's no reason for her to go online if she doesn't see any new messages. He is stubborn and refuses to see this.

Am I right in saying there's no reason for her to go online if she doesn't see any new messages or does he have a point in saying if she really likes him then she wojld check the chat even if there are no new messages?

Instead of guessing if she likes him, or not based on what she does or doesn't do on Whatsapp, why doesn't he ask her out?

[MissCanuck]

8 hours ago, lisa_pw said:

Please help me settle this debate with my friend, it is driving me crazy. 

Why? It has nothing to do with you and should have no effect on you. 

[smackie9]

Obviously he's trying real hard not to mess things up. If he makes any mistakes that will be on him. If he's being foolish, that's on him too. He's gonna try his way anyways, obviously he likes her and has a plan in his head. Right or wrong what he does and how he does things is not something you can control. 

As for interest....who knows. Could be done just for attention, boredom, etc. Only time will tell.