Non-existent on bf social media

[Snoopy219]

So my bf that I live with of 3yrs doesn't tag me in any pics on fb or Instagram.  He's my true love, we're so good together but there's this one hang-up.. He just posted pics of the last 2 wknds & there are pics of me but I'm not tagged. I'm starting to feel hurt & somehow maybe not loved as much as I think ? He takes good care of me but threw it up in my face last night.. I'm starting to wonder if I'm just not good enough or if it's because he wants to keep his options open. How should I handle this? 🤔 

[Jaunty]

You're in the pictures.  Why isn't that sufficient?   Even if he tagged you, it would not be labelled THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND.  

[Snoopy219]

Well why would he tag 2 peeps but not the person that helps him in so many ways ....  ?? So I guess possibly when you see other people proudly showing off their loved one, I feel stuffed away... It's just one of those things that makes me feel as if I'm not good or pretty enough. The thing is, I'm very attractive, talented & educated. He has said that but I'm no where..

[Jaunty]

But you are in the pictures.  

I mean if you want to break up with a guy over "tagging" on social media, be my guest.  I think it's ridiculous, but I'm old. 

[Snoopy219]

6 minutes ago, Jaunty said:

You're in the pictures.  Why isn't that sufficient?   Even if he tagged you, it would not be labelled THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND.  

 

[Snoopy219]

I would never break up over such a thing but it hurts. I'm 50 & just burnt out on stupid bs like that. Just like be proud of me & at least let me know the pics went up...not on HIS WALL...but some group. Whatever... 

[LootieTootie]

13 minutes ago, Snoopy219 said:

I'm 50 & just burnt out on stupid bs like that. 

Hi Snoopy, I would have never guessed you were 50 going off your original post. 

This is a you problem. You care about him showing you off on social media. You think you're attractive, talented and accomplished so why doesn't he want to show you off? 

How about because he doesn't put much stock in to social media like you do and doesn't care what other people on the other side of the screen thinks?

 

[Wiseman2]

34 minutes ago, Snoopy219 said:

 bf that I live with of 3yrs  He's my true love, we're so good together. He takes good care of me but threw it up in my face last night.🤔 

Your relationship seems to make you happy. Do you have him on your social media? Who are these other people he tagged? Does his social media indicate he's in a relationship? 

[Kwothe28]

54 minutes ago, Snoopy219 said:

He takes good care of me but threw it up in my face last night..

What? Do you mean literally or just because of pics?

I would also not guess the age. I thought you are 15. Because only 15 year olds would even be bothered with something so insognificant like that. Not tagging you? Really? Oh the horrors, how would you even recover from that, all your girlfriends would not see you are in the pic. Unless they have eyes.

[Andrina]

1 hour ago, Snoopy219 said:

I'm starting to wonder if I'm just not good enough or if it's because he wants to keep his options open

What's his relationship history? How often does he go out without you during a regular week/month? What do your friends think of him as your bf?

Many guys just aren't mushy about the same stuff you might find important. I feel adored by my husband, but there are a million more photos of our pets and his motorcycle and dirt bike on his phone, than of me.

If the social media is the only sticking point, delete him and unfollow him on social media. Out of sight, out of mind.

[Snoopy219]

@Kwothe28 To be honest, yes I do have pics of him up, tagged, but they are not in his pics, their on his wall buried. He shared it to a group thats not public. Surprising, because it's his festival he put on & isn't sharing pics to his wall... I kinda said something one time like why, but he was defensive very quickly. I backed off & haven't said anything.

It doesn't matter how I feel or if I've given him public props in a tagged pic he refuses to acknowledge. Like you don't know everything here... 

So I guess all of the people responding don't tag their loved ones or are never hurt seeing others be tagged, but not you... 

Personally, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it or be rude to my question. 

[Snoopy219]

@Andrina ...he's divorced like me. Has a wondering eye i'm aware of. I have the option of wondering myself, but i don't.  My friends have only met him once due to the distance I moved 1.5hrs south to be with him & have had to start fresh. He's very charming, smart & handsome.  

[Seraphim]

Is it that you feel insecure in your relationship? Maybe if you felt more secure social media wouldn’t be such an issue ? 

[Andrina]

8 minutes ago, Snoopy219 said:

Has a wondering eye i'm aware of

What exactly does this entail? You didn't answer about how often he goes out on the town without you.

[Snoopy219]

@LootieTootie...perhaps showing off is the wrong term... Act like I'm a part of your life perhaps is a better way of phrasing it.  

It just hurts to be ignored when sending requests or ignoring my messages at times. Perhaps, since we're life long partners, I thought that he would tag me or even let me know he posted pics of me. How can I post events for him or anyone know about it if I'm not tagged? I have a huge FB following because I'm an artist like him & I can get people to be there...but damn, there are no pics to share but mine... Then like, I tag him & he doesn't even acknowledge it but has time for others. It's embarrassing to tag someone & say hey...your awesome with no response. 

[Snoopy219]

@Andrina...we got out together alot !

[Wiseman2]

21 minutes ago, Snoopy219 said:

@Kwothe28  hurt seeing others be tagged, but not you... 

Who are these others he tagged? 

[smackie9]

You sound insecure about your relationship with him....why is that? You keep saying everything is great, he treats you well, you are in his photos so you are not pushed out of existence, people know who you are and that you are with him. Why is it that you need this to feel secure with him? Help us understand.

[Snoopy219]

@Seraphim  perhaps I am a insecure at times. It's been a tough road... 

[Snoopy219]

@Wiseman2 He tagged 2 dudes ... he shared itnto a private group, not his wall. 

[smackie9]

Maybe he just wants something that's his own space, which I can totally understand. There's nothing wrong with having independence from each other in a relationship, Like having your own social groups, your own friends, doing things on your own, doing your own thing.

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, Snoopy219 said:

@Seraphim   It's been a tough road... 

Agree. Something is triggering this intense response to a simple issue. Perhaps reflect what the problems are in the relationship, communication and general satisfaction.

Are you concerned he's cheating or the relationship isn't going anywhere or what you hoped?

[catfeeder]

Sounds as though he's being polite by tagging people who may want a copy of the image.

 

[Jaunty]

11 minutes ago, Snoopy219 said:

@Wiseman2 He tagged 2 dudes ... he shared itnto a private group, not his wall. 

I am not that big on social media but I NEVER tag my partner and I often tag other friends in group pictures.  Why?  Because it's a given that she is there with me.  The other friends, it's more like, "look at this cool picture I got of us on that rafting mishap" or whatever.

Though I do have a bit more understanding why you might be feeling insecure, since he has only met your friends one time and you moved to where he is and left your own people behind.

[Coily]

Of all the things to stir drama in a relationship, is one is special.

From a man's perspective, I never have tagged anyone I was seeing in a social media post, and even removed tags of me when they did it. If there was an event where someone want to be tagged in a private group, that would occasionally happen.

As far as I was concerned social media is intrusive into relationships, it does what? Create a record that someone was somewhere for a stranger to know who person X is? Seems silly to me.

As long as you are known publicly as a couple, that he looks after and cares for you, "shows you off" in person; what are you going to accomplish in making this a flash point in the relationship?