Have to beg my boyfriend for sex

[Bluelights]

I need some advice and do not know who to turn to. Firstly I am a guy (bottom) who has a boyfriend for almost 3 months now. My boyfriend is extremely experienced when it comes to sex. He always talks about his sexual past and history and also erotic things that he wants to do with me. However, I find my self in a situation where I constantly have to beg him for sex or even foreplay. He shows me that he is not interested however when I get upset about it which is almost daily, he apologies and say that he wants to and it is all in my mind. I am 25 and he is 41. I really like him, but I also want a sexual relationship. I have broken up with him twice and as soon as I do so hours later, he will travel to another city to have sex with someone else and it is always the same guy. Every time I ask him why it is so easy for him to do it he say the issue is I am way too tight for him. He says that he feels like he is struggling to have sex because it is hard for him to slide in easily but this is not my fault. 

Also I must add that he is a narcissist like really really bad but I am trying to accept him for who he is 

 

Can I get some advise because I really do not know what to do.

[Wiseman2]

You're not sexually compatible. It's only 12 weeks and on/off at that . Cut your losses and find more compatible sex partners.

[Batya33]

You two are not a good match unless you find the challenge of this really thrilling -you love chasing him and when you "win"and he has sex you feel high and like you won.  That has nothing to do with a healthy relationship but ask yourself if that is your motivation for settling for scraps.

[Bluelights]

4 hours ago, Batya33 said:

You two are not a good match unless you find the challenge of this really thrilling -you love chasing him and when you "win"and he has sex you feel high and like you won.  That has nothing to do with a healthy relationship but ask yourself if that is your motivation for settling for scraps.

I actually get zero thrill from it. It is actually exhausting. I speak to him about it but he says that it is all in my head. The thing is He believes that he is the only one that should be demanding or have the say when we have sex. He says that it should only be when he wants to and I should stop asking. When he wants to I should just be grateful. 

[itsallgrand]

2 hours ago, Bluelights said:

I actually get zero thrill from it. It is actually exhausting. I speak to him about it but he says that it is all in my head. The thing is He believes that he is the only one that should be demanding or have the say when we have sex. He says that it should only be when he wants to and I should stop asking. When he wants to I should just be grateful. 

I physically cringed. 

Unless you are into being treated like crap, this guy isn't for you. 

[Bluelights]

5 hours ago, itsallgrand said:

I physically cringed. 

Unless you are into being treated like crap, this guy isn't for you. 

The thing is he treats me good sometimes and can be very caring when he wants and loving. But he is a narcissist so he blames me for everything. It can be o embarrassing on my end when I ask for some intimacy and be shut down or given excuses. The last time we had a big argument about it and he blamed me saying 'my body has a problem or it might be a mental block' because he has this issue that I am too tight and being tight is an issue for him. He prefer guys that are the opposite of that cause it is easier for him.

[Guest]

"He is a narcissist "

PLEASE leave. I'm sorry. You sound like you're trying hard to see the good in him, but there is none. Narcissists by nature are not going to change. 

He gets some enjoyment out of denying you attention and making you feel crazy.

It won't get better with this guy. 

[sunset sun rise lover]

On 3/26/2005 at 3:19 PM, Roasted Carrots said:

If anal sex (or oral, or vaginal, for that matter) makes you the least bit uncomfortable - Don't do it!

 

If you have any doubts at all - Don't do it!

 

If you think he will break it off with you simply on accout of refusal to have any form of intercourse - Don't do it!

 

Your body is YOUR body. Don't let anybody pressure you into acts if you feel you're not ready. Trust me, this anxiety is your body's way of telling you that you're not ready. Trust your intuition.

 

On another point, why are you bothering with this guy if in the back of your mind you think he might dump you by your refusal to have sex? That type of guy is not worth your time. A boyfriend should be someone who loves you for your *personality*, not I think you should stay clear of him he clearly doesn't deserve you