How do I stop feeling envious and angry at couples?

[P4nther]

7 minutes ago, jul-els said:

It’s about the energy you give to others. They can feel it. People who are successful with the opposite sex know how to give the energy necessary to make themselves attractive or interesting to other people. Whether or not they’re good people themselves has nothing to do with it. 

I assume you’re not a dishonest or deceptive person, so if that’s the case, then that’s something you have going in your favor. You just need to learn how to give the same energy to others that you want to receive. 

I don't really understand what you mean by "give the energy"?  

I think it's just hopeless. Some men have "it" and others (like me) do not. I wish I could come to terms with that, but in all honesty, I'm sure it will end with me tapping out rather than suffer this bitter loneliness any longer than I have to.

[jul-els]

7 minutes ago, P4nther said:

I don't really understand what you mean by "give the energy"?  

I think it's just hopeless. Some men have "it" and others (like me) do not. I wish I could come to terms with that, but in all honesty, I'm sure it will end with me tapping out rather than suffer this bitter loneliness any longer than I have to.

This sadness and despair you feel is the energy you’re giving to others. That is what others receive from you and they don’t like it, so they move away from it. It’s all about your mindset. That’s what you need to work on changing if you want people’s reaction to you change. 

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, P4nther said:

Women aren't interested in me. If they were, then one way or another, I would've had a girlfriend by now. It really is that simple. 

As for how women signal interest, this might be of interest to you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/first-blush/201710/the-many-subtle-ways-women-signal-romantic-interest

Stating it over and over doesn't make it fact, especially when you can't provide ONE SINGLE EXAMPLE of a woman rejecting you.

Posting links also doesn't tell us what YOU think a woman would do to show she's interested in at least having a conversation with you. 

As the old saying goes, whether you think you can OR you think you can't, you're right. Self fulfilling prophecy and all that. 

[P4nther]

21 minutes ago, jul-els said:

This sadness and despair you feel is the energy you’re giving to others. That is what others receive from you and they don’t like it, so they move away from it. It’s all about your mindset. That’s what you need to work on changing if you want people’s reaction to you change. 

Okayyyy... but how exactly am I meant to do that when women are not interested in me? Where is the happiness and hope coming from? It's like the old "experience paradox" where a person cannot get a job because they have no work history, but how can they obtain experience when no one gives them a chance?

[P4nther]

4 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Stating it over and over doesn't make it fact, especially when you can't provide ONE SINGLE EXAMPLE of a woman rejecting you.

Posting links also doesn't tell us what YOU think a woman would do to show she's interested in at least having a conversation with you. 

As the old saying goes, whether you think you can OR you think you can't, you're right. Self fulfilling prophecy and all that. 

Every time a woman overlooks me, she is, in essence, rejecting me. 

People are not shy when they're interested in someone. I've seen it happen many times with guys other than myself. 

And no, stating it over and over doesn't make it a fact. Being single all my life and never having any women interested in me makes it a fact.

[boltnrun]

You're not interested in learning or growing or even considering that your approach and conclusions might be faulty, Lamb. 

That's a shame. 

[P4nther]

Just now, boltnrun said:

You're not interested in learning or growing or even considering that your approach and conclusions might be faulty, Lamb. 

That's a shame. 

It's nothing to do with my "approach". Women are either attracted to you or they're not.

[rainbowsandroses]

29 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

You're not interested in learning or growing or even considering that your approach and conclusions might be faulty, Lamb. 

@P4nther and @TheLambOfDeth are actually one in the same?  😳

K

 

[P4nther]

11 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

@P4nther and @TheLambOfDeth are actually one in the same?  😳

K

 

I wondered what he meant by that. I thought calling me "lamb" was just being patronizing. Either way, that isn't me.

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, P4nther said:

. I thought calling me "lamb" was just being patronizing. 

Maybe it's flirting? 

[Batya33]

Some people can be passive/take the easy way out and nevertheless get the great job/get into the great school/get the great gal.  Cause life isn't fair. Me -I had to work by behind off for my major goals (marriage/family/career/education).  Nothing came easy.  The opposite.

OP -your convenient fake news stuff is just you taking the easy way out.  Step up to the plate.

[jul-els]

1 hour ago, P4nther said:

Okayyyy... but how exactly am I meant to do that when women are not interested in me? Where is the happiness and hope coming from? It's like the old "experience paradox" where a person cannot get a job because they have no work history, but how can they obtain experience when no one gives them a chance?

You have to like yourself before others can like you. The problem you’re having is you want others to like you before you can like yourself. This is why you keep running into the same problem.

You have to put the work in to change the things you don’t like. You are expecting the things you don’t like to change for you on their own. But it doesn’t work that way. You have to put the work in to make the changes in your life that you want to see happen. 

[1a1a]

Actually, I think you never give any women a chance. Giving a chance would be expressing your interest. Sometimes it’s you expressing interest that sows the first seed of attraction. 
 

But heck no don’t try and go out there and do that right now, you need to work with a therapist to quell your rage and unpack your cognitive distortions first. 
 

You didn’t say if you have and women among your friendship group. Or if you show an interest in people when you meet them? Or if you’d even try that. Here is a way forward. That you want to ignore it suggests your current funk is deep to which again, I say, therapist can help!

[kamurj]

Topic has run its course, closed.