should I continue this relationship which my parents might not approve

[sarik]

I am dating a guy who is one year younger than me...but we are studying in the same year. He is doing his bba major where I am doing mbbs. Countries like we live in, parents decide about marriage and stuffs. Since I will become a doctor in future, my parents are telling me to marry a doctor or engineer who will had science background; even if they don't earn  that much, my parents will happily marry me off with them whoever is doctor or engineer. On the other hand, I am dating a guy who is younger than me if my society gets to know this, I might be a laughing stock in the family gatherings. Also my bf is doing bba which my parents might not like. I can hide the truth of he being one year younger but about his profession I can't lie. This might lead me to a hard time for a certain period.

But I love him and he loves me more than I do. We have been a long distanced relationship for almost 2.5 years. We couldn't meet up because of college/university entrance exams. But our love didn't fade. We will be able to meet soon. But I am now confused that should I continue this even if we are destined to be separated in the future. Please someone help me out ! 

p.s. I am from Pakistan, an islamic country.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, sarik said:

 Countries like we live in, parents decide about marriage and stuffs. my parents will happily marry me off with them whoever is doctor or engineer. 

.We have been a long distanced relationship for almost 2.5 years. We will be able to meet soon. 

Have you ever met in person or is this a cyber-relationship? Unfortunately if you are in a society that practices arranged marriage, you may have to speak with your parents about your choices and how much freedom you have in choosing a man. 

[Batya33]

If you haven't met him in person it is not a real relationship for romantic purposes.  It is an online interaction -he is an online friend/chat buddy/pen pal.  Also if he is more into you than you are to him -why bother especially with all the other obstacles.  If you insist on meeting then if you can date regularly in person for at least 6 months to  a year and if you two are in love and compatible and serious then you can talk to your parents.

[Andrina]

7 hours ago, sarik said:

Also my bf is doing bba which my parents might not like.

Since you aren't certain, why not tell them you're interested in this guy and get a definitive answer.

7 hours ago, sarik said:

I might be a laughing stock in the family gatherings.

Do you have to answer relative's questions about how old your bf/husband is? If your parent's are okay with the match, decide whether or not being a laughing stock at family gatherings is worth it to be with your chosen man, or don't attend family gatherings, because what is the point if they are cruel to you?

If your parents don't approve and you will obey their wishes, then chalk this man up to being your first love and then end things to avoid wasting your boyfriend's time. Free him to find someone whose family accepts him.

[smackie9]

You are just dating not getting married so you take what comes. But in the end you will be married off with someone else but that is way down the road. Enjoy the relationship while you have it. 

[sarik]

10 hours ago, sarik said:

I am dating a guy who is one year younger than me...but we are studying in the same year. He is doing his bba major where I am doing mbbs. Countries like we live in, parents decide about marriage and stuffs. Since I will become a doctor in future, my parents are telling me to marry a doctor or engineer who will have science background; even if they don't earn  that much, my parents will happily marry me off with them whoever is doctor or engineer. On the other hand, I am dating a guy who is younger than me if my society gets to know this, I might be a laughing stock in the family gatherings. Also my bf is doing bba which my parents might not like. I can hide the truth of him being one year younger but about his profession I can't lie. This might lead me to a hard time for a certain period.

But I love him and he loves me more than I do. We have been a long distanced relationship for almost 2.5 years. We couldn't meet up because of college/university entrance exams. But our love didn't fade. We will be able to meet soon. But I am now confused that should I continue this even if we are destined to be separated in the future. Please someone help me out ! 

p.s. I am from Pakistan, an islamic country.

Actually I am afraid of losing him. I might not find such kind, patient and responsible man like him and we are not marrying until we are 25. So I should just try to sneakily date him sometimes without my parents knowing and give this relationship a bit more time. It's too early to take such decisions and that's it. Thank you for helping me out. I hope I am going through the right path.

[sarik]

Just now, sarik said:

Actually I am afraid of losing him. I might not find such kind, patient and responsible man like him and we are not marrying until we are 25. So I should just try to sneakily date him sometimes without my parents knowing and give this relationship a bit more time. It's too early to take such decisions and that's it. Thank you for helping me out. I hope I am going through the right path.

 

[Andrina]

3 hours ago, sarik said:

Actually I am afraid of losing him. I might not find such kind, patient and responsible man like him and we are not marrying until we are 25. So I should just try to sneakily date him sometimes without my parents knowing and give this relationship a bit more time. It's too early to take such decisions and that's it. Thank you for helping me out. I hope I am going through the right path

Does your bf know all this? That a marriage might not happen because you will abide by your parents decision?

[HeartGoesOn]

7 hours ago, sarik said:

Actually I am afraid of losing him. I might not find such kind, patient and responsible man like him and we are not marrying until we are 25. So

I'm sorry, but I wouldn't make any concrete decisions until if/when you meet. In addition to that and not to minimize your question, but I'd be very surprised if he did show up. You'd be better off by preparing yourself.

Wishing you the best...

[catfeeder]

You use the word “might” regarding your parents’ disapproval, so you’re depriving yourself of valuable information by not asking them whether they would be willing to consider someone outside of those professions if you meet someone you really like.

Operate by using real information instead of assumptions.

[MissCanuck]

If you have never met him, you are not dating. 

You have a penpal at the moment. That is not to degrade your feelings, but you are not being very realistic here. Worrying about marriage shouldn't be on the table yet when you have not even met the man. 

I realize there are cultural and religious elements which change your situation, but you are still getting too far ahead of yourself when you don't know if you will even get along in person.