Is he interested or did I misunderstand the situation..

[Emmy321]

I  know this guy from work, we work in different departments but I still see him often. One day we were the elevator together and I noticed from the corner of my eye he was looking at me and I mean like staring so much so that I purposely  was not looking back, until he spoke to me. Then I kind of brushed it off and forgot about it really.  A couple of days later when I saw him I realized he did it a again and gradually saw he does it all the time now.  I can be shy so I was not doing it back very often for a little bit, For months now we make eye contact, he is all smiles when he sees me, makes the effort  to say hi all the time. I know he could just be overly friendly and I could be reading way to much into it, in fact I have gone back and forth trying to decide that but It seems so constant to me.  He has asked for my number the other day and yesterday  I did give it to him.  After I gave it to him he joking said now we can bother you on your phone and vocera which is my works commutating system.   That comment makes me think I shouldn't of given my number and I probably won't hear from him outside of work and I misinterpreted all of our interactions.   Please I'll take anyone's opinion. 

[Batya33]

I think he was joking around -he asked you for your number so he can contact you and not just have to randomly run into you.  Unclear whether he wants to date you or be friends -if he calls you I'm sure you'll know soon enough.  

[Emmy321]

9 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I think he was joking around -he asked you for your number so he can contact you and not just have to randomly run into you.  Unclear whether he wants to date you or be friends -if he calls you I'm sure you'll know soon enough.  

That sounds about right. I did give him  my number to find out but I think I am also nervous to find out that I could be wrong about  it and he won't call.  Thanks for your reply and input. 

 

[left due to request]

2 hours ago, Izzy1234 said:

After I gave it to him he joking said now we can bother you on your phone and vocera which is my works commutating system. 

so... you knew he was joking... not quite understanding your conflict.  Is it should you have given your number or is it that you are asking if you misunderstood his stare?

[Emmy321]

3 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

so... you knew he was joking... not quite understanding your conflict.  Is it should you have given your number or is it that you are asking if you misunderstood his stare?

Sorry, I guess I should of said  that It sounded like he was joking  but  I don't really know for sure.   My conflict is I am not sure if I did misunderstand his eye contact, smiles etc, that he is interested or just being overly friendly towards me.  What he said after I gave him the number even though he did ask for it, kind of made feel like I am wrong about him being interested. 

[left due to request]

10 minutes ago, Izzy1234 said:

Sorry, I guess I should of said  that It sounded like he was joking  but  I don't really know for sure.   My conflict is I am not sure if I did misunderstand his eye contact, smiles etc, that he is interested or just being overly friendly towards me.  What he said after I gave him the number even though he did ask for it, kind of made feel like I am wrong about him being interested. 

Doesn't matter does it now?  you'll find out soon enough.. why worry about something that happened already 🙂     People stare for various reasons but mostly they do it to admire.  If not to their taste, they look away. Be confident since one person finds you worthy of starring then I'm sure there'll be others who may think so as well.  If he doesn't call, so be it. 

[Emmy321]

7 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

Doesn't matter does it now?  you'll find out soon enough.. why worry about something that happened already 🙂     People stare for various reasons but mostly they do it to admire.  If not to their taste, they look away. Be confident since one person finds you worthy of starring then I'm sure there'll be others who may think so as well.  If he doesn't call, so be it. 

well, It really isn't  just his stares. I mean I work with 500 other people, I look at them and they look at me and it's no big deal but with him it's different, it's like his whole face lights up,  I don't know how to explain it, I guess.  I do understand what your saying.  It matters because I don't want to be wrong.  Thanks for your reply! 

[left due to request]

I'm getting the following from your posts:

I work with 500 people and I find this one man attractive as he is attracted to me.  I gave him my numbers and I'm hoping that he will call me.

IMO, this is perfectly normal. Absolutely no need to beat around the bush.  Don't complicate things and don't think too much into it.

[Emmy321]

 

21 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

I'm getting the following from your posts:

I work with 500 people and I find this one man attractive as he is attracted to me.  I gave him my numbers and I'm hoping that he will call me.

IMO, this is perfectly normal. Absolutely no need to beat around the bush.  Don't complicate things and don't think too much into it.

I did not say it was not normal, I also think you missed my point about the 500 people comment.   I understand it may not seem like a big deal to you but these situations can be misunderstood. I like him and I don't want  to of misconstrued it.  no one is complicating things, I simply just wanted someone else's opinion. That is all.  Have a great night. 

[left due to request]

when someone asks for your number, it's pretty clear as to why.  When you comply to that request, it is also clear.  What's there to be misunderstood?

[Emmy321]

12 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

when someone asks for your number, it's pretty clear as to why.  When you comply to that request, it is also clear.  What's there to be misunderstood?

because he could of just wanted it for work related reasons which is why I questioned what he said after I gave it to him. 

[Jaunty]

3 hours ago, Izzy1234 said:

 It matters because I don't want to be wrong.  

You're making a big deal out of nothing, really.  If he's interested in you, he will probably make a move.  If he's not interested in you, he definitely won't.  If you don't mind putting yourself out there, you can make first move yourself, in case he's shy or something.  That seems unlikely, since he's evidently ogling you for extended periods while beaming brightly, and he did ask for your number without getting paralyzed  ... doesn't sound like he'd be too timid to ask you out if he wants to.

After all is said and done, if you "like" him but nothing ever happens, what does it matter if you were right or wrong?

[Emmy321]

14 minutes ago, Jaunty said:

You're making a big deal out of nothing, really.  If he's interested in you, he will probably make a move.  If he's not interested in you, he definitely won't.  If you don't mind putting yourself out there, you can make first move yourself, in case he's shy or something.  That seems unlikely, since he's evidently ogling you for extended periods while beaming brightly, and he did ask for your number without getting paralyzed  ... doesn't sound like he'd be too timid to ask you out if he wants to.

After all is said and done, if you "like" him but nothing ever happens, what does it matter if you were right or wrong?

Clearly it kind of matters to me  or I wouldn't be here. Now I am thinking I shouldn't posed at at all 

 

[Jaunty]

32 minutes ago, Izzy1234 said:

Clearly it kind of matters to me  or I wouldn't be here. Now I am thinking I shouldn't posed at at all 

 

Ok, sorry if I was harsh.  But we are strangers and can't see what you're seeing.  Of course we don't know if he's interested in you.  You will have to find out for yourself or just let things be.  

If he does not ask you out, and you don't ask him out either though - why does it matter whether you're right or wrong about him liking you?  It's like the old saying "If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?"

[Kwothe28]

Why dont you go by "step by step"? He took a number so that is a good sign. If he calls or messages and mkes contact, its also a good sign. If he calls on a date its a good sign. There is no point in decyphering somebody behavior just by eye contact when its vague and you should just look at it in the context of his actions in future. If he contacts you and asks on a date, then he likes you. Because like this you are banging your head against the wall about something that could mean nothing if he doesnt contact you at all.

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Izzy1234 said:

because he could of just wanted it for work related reasons which is why I questioned what he said after I gave it to him. 

That's ok. If he contacts you for a date, you'll have your answer. Asking for your number is the first step, so be patient.

[Batya33]

11 hours ago, Izzy1234 said:

That sounds about right. I did give him  my number to find out but I think I am also nervous to find out that I could be wrong about  it and he won't call.  Thanks for your reply and input. 

 

He might not call - I'd have zero expectations -nothing to be nervous about.  If he doesn't call oh well life goes on -could be any number of reasons including decided not to date a coworker/changed mind/met someone else. If he calls and asks you on a date time and place your expectation should be only that he will show up for the date.  If the date goes well and there is no plan for a next date then the expectation should be that "if" he is interested in the future he will ask you out again or accept your offer of a date.  No further expectations -keep it real.

[Sindy_0311]

I also had a misunderstanding with a coworker lately, about his interest towards me. I have been analyzing his signs again and again and it became like an obsession. In my case we had much more interactions and there were even more signs, this only to find out that he wasn't really interested. I have also been posting my issue on this forum and another one. this situation lasted 3 or 4 month (of overthinking etc... ) until someone explained to me what he was looking for and it became clear to me. So I think a guy can appreciate you, stare, smile, ask for your number etc... even if there is no real desire to ask you out or have a relationship with you. I suggest you assume he's not into you until he makes a real move on you. Or you assume that he likes you (why wouldn't he? you are amazing) but until he doesn't make things clear, you go on living your life and meeting other guys. The danger in these situations is to lose yourself in it and think about it non stop and maybe even ignore the good guys who are really interested in you and are boyfriend potential. I hope this helps... 

[Batya33]

I’ll add if he calls and asks you out on a date of course keep your life going as normal including meeting people and guys. Each date is the last one unless there’s another time and place date planned or unless you two decide to be exclusive. Manage your expectations because it’s way too easy to blame yourself or get jaded about dating.  

[Sindy_0311]

18 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

 get jaded about dating.  

Do you have any magic formula to not get jaded? Because frankly, I am and it's getting worse in time... Dating is so dark and disappointing. 

[Jibralta]

10 hours ago, Izzy1234 said:

because he could of just wanted it for work related reasons which is why I questioned what he said after I gave it to him. 

Unlikely. Unless you guys were talking specifically about business. If that's the case, then yeah, probably work related. But if you were just shooting the sht and he asked you for your number then he probably likes you.

[Emmy321]

8 hours ago, Jaunty said:

Ok, sorry if I was harsh.  But we are strangers and can't see what you're seeing.  Of course we don't know if he's interested in you.  You will have to find out for yourself or just let things be.  

If he does not ask you out, and you don't ask him out either though - why does it matter whether you're right or wrong about him liking you?  It's like the old saying "If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?"

It’s ok,  I guess I’ll have to wait. Thanks for your reply. 

[Emmy321]

1 hour ago, Sindy_0311 said:

I also had a misunderstanding with a coworker lately, about his interest towards me. I have been analyzing his signs again and again and it became like an obsession. In my case we had much more interactions and there were even more signs, this only to find out that he wasn't really interested. I have also been posting my issue on this forum and another one. this situation lasted 3 or 4 month (of overthinking etc... ) until someone explained to me what he was looking for and it became clear to me. So I think a guy can appreciate you, stare, smile, ask for your number etc... even if there is no real desire to ask you out or have a relationship with you. I suggest you assume he's not into you until he makes a real move on you. Or you assume that he likes you (why wouldn't he? you are amazing) but until he doesn't make things clear, you go on living your life and meeting other guys. The danger in these situations is to lose yourself in it and think about it non stop and maybe even ignore the good guys who are really interested in you and are boyfriend potential. I hope this helps... 

Thanks!   This is exactly what I’m  dealing with and I guess I’m over thinking a little bit. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Do you have any magic formula to not get jaded? Because frankly, I am and it's getting worse in time... Dating is so dark and disappointing. 

I wrote above about how I kept my expectations realistic.  Also I had many platonic male friends and liked men in general and that showed in my dating.  I was honest with myself and did not have casual sex since I knew I'd be likely to get emotionally attached.  

Mostly also it was my goal -marriage and family -it was so very important to me other than my professional goals that I did all it took to be proactive and stay realistic and develop a thick skin.  If I hadn't wanted marriage and family so very badly it wouldn't have been worth it -all the time and effort and energy I put in to meeting the right person. 

Mostly I was treated with respect and like a lady for my 24 years of dating (I also had serious relationships during that time so I wasn't always looking).  I also met and dated and was in contact with a number of men who acted like jerks and/or were dangerous.  It happens. Good luck!

[Emmy321]

1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

Unlikely. Unless you guys were talking specifically about business. If that's the case, then yeah, probably work related. But if you were just shooting the sht and he asked you for your number then he probably likes you.

well, come to think of it, We weren’t shooting the sht. I brought up that he could reach on my work pager for work and then that’s when he asked for number.  Oh no!