My son claimed his exs child isnt his but doesn’t want to take a paternity tests

[MikalJoyner]

I posted about this woman reaching out to me claiming my son was harassing her into an abortion. 
 

i finally have caught up with the woman. I explained to her how my son thinks the child isn’t his. 
 

so she wants to get a pre birth dna test. The test will require a sample of the blood through her arm as well as a mouth swab from my son. But my son doesn’t want to participate.. so what do i do?

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, MikalJoyner said:

But my son doesn’t want to participate.. so what do i do?

Nothing. Your son does not have to consent to anything, he is a grown man. Discontinue your involvement in this or communicating with this woman. If she wants his DNA she will have to  petition the courts for a legally valid paternity test. You're not her attorney. You should be supporting your son with this, not taking her side.

[boltnrun]

8 minutes ago, MikalJoyner said:

I posted about this woman reaching out to me claiming my son was harassing her into an abortion. 
 

i finally have caught up with the woman. I explained to her how my son thinks the child isn’t his. 
 

so she wants to get a pre birth dna test. The test will require a sample of the blood through her arm as well as a mouth swab from my son. But my son doesn’t want to participate.. so what do i do?

You can't do anything.  This is between the two of them.

Her only recourse is to have the baby and then take him to family court to request a paternity test.  But again, that is up to her.

[Kwothe28]

If he doesnt want to participate sadly there is nothing you can do. Let her take him to court, then he would have to provide DNA.

[Seraphim]

She will just have to take him to court and if it isn’t his why is he harassing her about an abortion? 

[MikalJoyner]

Just now, Seraphim said:

She will just have to take him to court and if it isn’t his why is he harassing her about an abortion? 

I’m not sure he keeps pressuring her to abort it then he said he doesn’t even think it’s really his because she sleeps around 

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, MikalJoyner said:

I’m not sure he keeps pressuring her to abort it then he said he doesn’t even think it’s really his because she sleeps around 

Then it isn’t adding up. 

[MissCanuck]

40 minutes ago, MikalJoyner said:

But my son doesn’t want to participate.. so what do i do?

Nothing. 

It isn't your decision. You should read your son's thread. He's posted it on this forum. 

[MikalJoyner]

3 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Then it isn’t adding up. 

I don’t know i don’t know this woman so she could be lying 

[Seraphim]

Just now, MikalJoyner said:

I don’t know i don’t know this woman so she could be lying 

Well, biology doesn’t . So if she takes him to court you will find out . 

[boltnrun]

6 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Nothing. 

It isn't your decision. You should read your son's thread. He's posted it on this forum. 

Yeah, and he claimed his mother supported his decision 100%. But apparently she's hoping for a close relationship with her grandchild.

Only detail that doesn't make sense is the mother (this OP) is claiming her son dated the woman for a long-ish while but that other OP is claiming she was a one time hookup at a wedding. So either this isn't the same person or someone is telling stories.

[HeartGoesOn]

13 minutes ago, MikalJoyner said:

I’m not sure he keeps pressuring her to abort it then he said he doesn’t even think it’s really his because she sleeps around 

Wouldn't that be all the more reason for him to agree to a DNA test?

I'm sorry you're in this situation, but it will probably come down to either owning his own choices, or learning a tough lesson, or both.   He needs to grow up on his own, as you've already done your job.  He'll either sink or swim.

[MikalJoyner]

13 minutes ago, HeartGoesOn said:

Wouldn't that be all the more reason for him to agree to a DNA test?

I'm sorry you're in this situation, but it will probably come down to either owning his own choices, or learning a tough lesson, or both.   He needs to grow up on his own, as you've already done your job.  He'll either sink or swim.

At first he said he would be okay with one but said “i know her and she isn’t ready for a child  so she should abort it” like I’m not sure what’s going on i just want the truth because If she’s carrying my grandchild i want to be there 

[MikalJoyner]

16 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Yeah, and he claimed his mother supported his decision 100%. But apparently she's hoping for a close relationship with her grandchild.

Only detail that doesn't make sense is the mother (this OP) is claiming her son dated the woman for a long-ish while but that other OP is claiming she was a one time hookup at a wedding. So either this isn't the same person or someone is telling stories.

Umm what story are you all referring to my last post was about this situation 

[boltnrun]

58 minutes ago, MikalJoyner said:

Umm what story are you all referring to my last post was about this situation 

There was a long thread started by a man who said he possibly impregnated a woman. He said he didn't want the woman to have the baby and tried to convince her to abort, but she insisted on having the baby. The stories have some similarities. 

[Kwothe28]

22 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

There was a long thread started by a man who said he possibly impregnated a woman. He said he didn't want the woman to have the baby and tried to convince her to abort, but she insisted on having the baby. The stories have some similarities. 

But they dont match because I believe that the guy on the thread has already told his mother everything. This one didnt even said to OP anything and she had to find out through pregnant girlfriend.

[Seraphim]

13 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

But they dont match because I believe that the guy on the thread has already told his mother everything. This one didnt even said to OP anything and she had to find out through pregnant girlfriend.

Yes, that person was like close to 40 and been around a long while . 

[boltnrun]

30 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

But they dont match because I believe that the guy on the thread has already told his mother everything. This one didnt even said to OP anything and she had to find out through pregnant girlfriend.

Yeah, I agree. I'm not convinced it's the same people either.  I was just quoting and responding to someone else who asserted it was the same person. But I think you're right and it's not the same.

Although people do alter details when they post. I certainly haven't revealed my actual age, location or family details because I choose to remain mostly anonymous. And I'll never reveal my true name, of course!

[waffle]

Good thing he ain't my son.

[Tinydance]

Well personally I think there isn't anything you can do really. The only thing you could do is try to encourage your son to take the paternity test. My guess is he doesn't want to take it because he's really not interested in actually having anything to do with this woman or the baby. And he's scared that if the test comes up that he's the father then he'll be held responsible, at least financially.

As much as it sucks but yes this woman will need to take this to court. I know you want a relationship with your grandchild but I think you would actually need to know that it really is your biological grandchild. As you said yourself, you don't actually know this woman and have no relationship with her. She's 24 years old so she needs to take this matter further in court if she wants to. She's an adult so this is all her responsibility.

[catfeeder]

Your son isn't willing to provide a sample, and he's not obligated to do so without a court order.

So, it's up to the mother to start that process. Not you.