Am I remaining professional?

[Alex39]

5 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Alex, please take this as being well intended...but you find more creative ways to look for things to worry about than almost everyone I know.

WHY on earth would they wait EIGHT DAYS to do something if you're "in trouble"?

Wait, don't answer that, because I'm sure you'll come up with some convoluted scenario where you're five minutes from getting fired 

Alex, please, find some way to calm down and stop the anxious illogical thought loops.

Did you ever talk to your therapist? Or did you make that one phone call ten days ago and just let it go after that? 

I thought so. That wouldn't I have been in trouble way before now? 

I'm doing OK. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow. Excited for it. I honestly was doing great. But all my trauma and ptsd coming back made me realize I need some therapy now. 

[Batya33]

I don't think this has anything at all to do with you being in any sort of trouble and I am glad you are seeing your therapist!

[Alex39]

So I ended up finding out that this man didn't get the job. They hired someone else.  They were so horrified at my anonymous remarks, that they immediately took him out of the running. The woman who shared my insight told me she wished I came forward earlier and he wouldn't have made it that far into the process. I'm still a bit traumatized by this. Big high up people at my corporation got this information. It could be traced to me. I just wish I didn't have to get involved. But he may have gotten the job if I hadn't said anything. I'm still a bit on edge about everything. My remarks were shocking- true, but shocking,  and I just don't want it coming back to me ever. I want water under the bridge. 

[DarkCh0c0]

2 hours ago, Alex39 said:

So I ended up finding out that this man didn't get the job. They hired someone else.  They were so horrified at my anonymous remarks, that they immediately took him out of the running. The woman who shared my insight told me she wished I came forward earlier and he wouldn't have made it that far into the process. I'm still a bit traumatized by this.

But this is amazing news! You saved them from a bad staff addition to the team and you get to work at your job worry free. Tap yourself on the shoulder. You should be relieved. You've been courageous and it's not easy 💚 Kudos!!

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

But this is amazing news! You saved them from a bad staff addition to the team and you get to work at your job worry free. Tap yourself on the shoulder. You should be relieved. You've been courageous and it's not easy 💚 Kudos!!

Yes- it's all good! Silence those ridiculous negative thoughts or push them to the periphery of your mind where they belong!

[tattoobunnie]

"It could be traced to me."

You are saving them from a potential lawsuit.  And a crappy boss.  Be proud you were courageous.

[Alex39]

I'm having so much anxiety about this situation. It hits me every night. I can't sleep. It causes me torment. I am so fearful it will come back to bite me in the buttt. 

They hired someone for the high position. Someone that seemed good in the hiring process. 

Now my supervisor and myself are invited to a nice lunch with him and another high up lady next week to meet and discuss our jobs and such and working with this new guy. It seems fine. But I'm so anxiety filled. Because the one high up lady received the anonymous email months back in the hiring process about the bad guy and I think might know it was me. I'm so scared to be judged. Scared that I'll be hurt professionally by this. I also keep replaying my old job in my head at night causing me grief. It's my PTSD. I hate it. I want it to go aaway. 

[MissCanuck]

I think you need to speak to your therapist about finding more effective ways to treat your deep general anxiety. 

 

[boltnrun]

Please read this latest post aloud to your therapist. You seem to be going into a deep spiral of anxiety and fear. Your therapist can help guide you through.