Material reward

[Seraphim]

We are going to receive a large back payment from a disability credits for my son. It is a credit that we get and should have received since he was born . We are getting a 10 year back payment of 3 credits. 9/10 we plan to save and we plan to also save for him with a registered disability savings plan. I have been working to get this credit since 2014. Is it immature to want to reward myself with a small gift to myself to get him this life altering credit ?

[Tinydance]

13 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

We are going to receive a large back payment from a disability credits for my son. It is a credit that we get and should have received since he was born . We are getting a 10 year back payment of 3 credits. 9/10 we plan to save and we plan to also save for him with a registered disability savings plan. I have been working to get this credit since 2014. Is it immature to want to reward myself with a small gift to myself to get him this life altering credit ?

Well it's probably not immature but could it maybe be better to include your son in the celebration as well? For example, you could go on a holiday or at least out for a nice dinner together as a family? Or you could see a show you both like or something like that? 

What small gift for yourself did you have in mind? I mean if it's small I think it's OK. You are his mother and you took care of him all his life. Maybe he would like for you to have something too. But I guess seeing as the money is being given for him, can you maybe do something special for him as well?

[Seraphim]

4 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Well it's probably not immature but could it maybe be better to include your son in the celebration as well? For example, you could go on a holiday or at least out for a nice dinner together as a family? Or you could see a show you both like or something like that? 

What small gift for yourself did you have in mind? I mean if it's small I think it's OK. You are his mother and you took care of him all his life. Maybe he would like for you to have something too. But I guess seeing as the money is being given for him, can you maybe do something special for him as well?

We will be doing a family dinner. Right now a holiday is not possible until next summer maybe . 

[Tinydance]

1 minute ago, Seraphim said:

We will be doing a family dinner. Right now a holiday is not possible until next summer maybe . 

Well I think that's fine. What small gift for yourself did you have in mind? I'm just curious.

[Seraphim]

1 minute ago, Tinydance said:

Well I think that's fine. What small gift for yourself did you have in mind? I'm just curious.

I am not sure yet just collecting ideas. So many ideas floating around. I have a lot of stuff to do first like setting up his registered savings . It would be money he can withdraw when he is 65. He is 25 now so if can have a good chunk of money collecting until he is 65 he will have money to care for himself when we are gone . 

[catfeeder]

First, congratulations, Seraphim!

Second, you are not immature, and you are ethical, and you’ve been ethical to the best of my knowledge for the duration of us posting here, and you unquestionably love your son and will undoubtedly always do right by him. 

You deserve something nice, and you deserve to enjoy it.

[Kwothe28]

As his legal guardian(I pressume) you are entilted to spend money as you see fit. I think its fair that 9/10 goes to fund and that for rest you buy something. 

[Wiseman2]

It's his money. Is it in a trust fund? Ask him about since it's his money. Make sure you get his written authorization. In the US taking entrusted funds from someone in a protected group (disabled, elderly, minor,etc) is illegal.  Even if you have power of attorney.

Check with your jurisdiction and most of all get his permission in writing. There's really no commission or finder's fee for applying for his disability and it being retroactive. If he wants to give you a gift, please ask him.

[Seraphim]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's his money. Is it in a trust fund? Ask him about since it's his money. Make sure you get his written authorization. In the US taking entrusted funds from someone in a protected group (disabled, elderly, minor,etc) is illegal.  Even if you have power of attorney.

Check with your jurisdiction and most of all get his permission in writing. There's really no commission or finder's fee for applying for his disability and it being retroactive. If he wants to give you a gift, please ask him.

No, it isn’t a trust fund it is money my husband gets back retroactively on his taxes and I get retroactively as an extra benefit on the child benefit from when he was a minor so the money wasn’t his to begin with. We are choosing to keep the majority for his future. It is money we would have got from the government to raise a disabled child but we didn’t get it at the time he was a child we get it as a bulk payment now since I finally was able to get him the federal designation.  

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Seraphim said:

We will be doing a family dinner. Right now a holiday is not possible until next summer maybe . 

What you could do since he is over 18, is start charging room and board. It all depends on who the checks are made out to and in whose behalf they're for.

[Seraphim]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

What you could do since he is over 18, is start charging room and board so it's legal for you to get some of his money to reimburse yourselves. However the government has records and funds made out to him in his name belong to him legally,no matter what your fiduciary roll is. You can't simply reward yourself with his money. Check up on that.

He has paid rent since he was 18. 

[Tinydance]

4 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

No, it isn’t a trust fund it is money my husband gets back retroactively on his taxes and I get retroactively as an extra benefit on the child benefit from when he was a minor so the money wasn’t his to begin with. We are choosing to keep the majority for his future. It is money we would have got from the government to raise a disabled child but we didn’t get it at the time he was a child we get it as a bulk payment now since I finally was able to get him the federal designation.  

Wow that must have been a very slow process since he's now 25!

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Wow that must have been a very slow process since he's now 25!

I have been trying since his diagnosis in 2014. The federal government agreed with the doctor that he was disabled from birth and gave him the designation from birth. 
 

He also has provincial disability that he gets monthly and it is paid to himself as he is the adult disabled person. 

[Tinydance]

1 minute ago, Seraphim said:

I have been trying since his diagnosis in 2014. The federal government agreed with the doctor that he was disabled from birth and gave him the designation from birth. 
 

He also has provincial disability that he gets monthly and it is paid to himself as he is the adult disabled person. 

Well that's great he finally got the money! I'm sure there's a lot he can do with it in his life. 

[Seraphim]

9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

What you could do since he is over 18, is start charging room and board. It all depends on who the checks are made out to and in whose behalf they're for.

The funds are directly deposited to our accounts as a tax benefit . 

[Seraphim]

1 minute ago, Tinydance said:

Well that's great he finally got the money! I'm sure there's a lot he can do with it in his life. 

It will greatly benefit his future for sure. I think of it as a savings from the past . I should have gotten about $300 monthly as the child tax benefit when he was a child to raise him, instead I got like $36-$92 a month. ( now Canadian moms get exceptionally more) My husband should have also got about $3000 a year off his taxes back as well. 

[Seraphim]

https://www.canada.ca/en/revenue-agency/services/tax/individuals/segments/tax-credits-deductions-persons-disabilities/disability-tax-credit/about-dtc.html
 

We are receiving the credits from when he was a minor and he has signed his adult credits to his father as my son does not pay tax on his disability payments so the credit is useless to him but very beneficial to us as we care for him. When/If  he leaves home the credit once again becomes his. The major portion of this designation is that we can get a registered disability savings plan for him and coming in the future his a federal monthly disability payment paid to him if it passes into law. 

[Batya33]

6 hours ago, catfeeder said:

First, congratulations, Seraphim!

Second, you are not immature, and you are ethical, and you’ve been ethical to the best of my knowledge for the duration of us posting here, and you unquestionably love your son and will undoubtedly always do right by him. 

You deserve something nice, and you deserve to enjoy it.

Yes do the gift -you spent lots of time and effort and endured lots of stress trying to get the money that was rightfully for your son - 8 years of unpaid work and persistence.  Yes a gift of course-whether it's a thing, an experience or both. So much of what we do as parents is the behind the scenes invisible work (um especially mothers?) - and so even well meaning people wouldn't even know to encourage you to reward yourself.  Do you know what you want? 

[Seraphim]

5 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Yes do the gift -you spent lots of time and effort and endured lots of stress trying to get the money that was rightfully for your son - 8 years of unpaid work and persistence.  Yes a gift of course-whether it's a thing, an experience or both. So much of what we do as parents is the behind the scenes invisible work (um especially mothers?) - and so even well meaning people wouldn't even know to encourage you to reward yourself.  Do you know what you want? 

I also paid the advocate $300 to write his form and my accountant $300 to readjust our taxes and the years of work and denials and frustration and searching for help. 
 

I don’t know what to get or experience yet. Maybe an experience? As someone suggested maybe a family experience except my son doesn’t really enjoy being away from home . It takes him almost a week to get used to the difference of not being at home . 

[Batya33]

9 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I also paid the advocate $300 to write his form and my accountant $300 to readjust our taxes and the years of work and denials and frustration and searching for help. 
 

I don’t know what to get or experience yet. Maybe an experience? As someone suggested maybe a family experience except my son doesn’t really enjoy being away from home . It takes him almost a week to get used to the difference of not being at home . 

I vote for your own experience -like a subscription to something you enjoy like the theater or musical performances?

[Seraphim]

4 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I vote for your own experience -like a subscription to something you enjoy like the theater or musical performances?

I really wanted to go to my childhood town with my mom. A last girls trip for us to Alberta. My mom is pretty physically disabled now and mostly deaf and maybe not be able to enjoy travel much longer so we want one last trip together. Plus she will be 77 and she has a terminal lung condition and a heart condition as well. One last hurrah for me and her against the world kind of deal.