Submissive slave relationship??

[Kaandii]

This is going to be a long one, so please try to bear with me.

I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 months now. We are around 6000 miles apart. We met on a game and were just friends for a couple months before he confessed that he was in love with me. Initially I wasn't sure what to do as I had been speaking to someone else and I had always felt like this guy hated me. Eventually I decided to give it a try. We have spent pretty much every single day together since, on voice and video calls for upwards of 12 hours a day. He has also gotten close to my son who wants to say goodnight to him and read a bedtime story with him every night.

When things are good they are really good. He's sweet and loving and caring. I love playing video games with him. He is handsome and smooth and easy to talk to. We very quickly agreed that we wanted to be together forever, get married, have kids, live together. I love him more than anything and I want nothing more than to be with him.

However when things are bad they are really bad. We argue all the time. He makes me so mad so easily and we fight constantly. He yells and accuses me of lying and cheating and threatens to leave. I scream and swear and cry all the time. 

It is sometimes hard to get intimate because there is no privacy. My room is separated from my sister and her boyfriend by a thin curtain. That being said when we do get intimate it is really good. We have exchanged hundreds of pictures and videos.

I have shared everything with him, things I have never told anyone else before. He has asked questions about my past that i have answered openly and honestly. I've made myself extremely vulnerable. 

So today after another argument he has said that if I dont agree to do anything he asks, be a submissive slave (not sexually) and never question him or he will punish me and destroy my life, share everything about me with the world, and break up and block me everywhere.

I love him and want to do everything for him but I dont know if I can live like this. Can a submissive/slave relationship ever be good or healthy? I am really confused about what to do and could really use some advice. Thanks

[boltnrun]

Have you met this online presence in person?

It's easy. Block him from contacting you by any and all means. Report him to the game moderator for his threats. Keep your son off of your electronic devices (really bad idea to have your son communicating with this stranger, BTW). And finally, some counseling to find out why you chose to attach yourself emotionally to an online stranger.

[MissCanuck]

You need to block this deranged man immediately. 

OP, please, never ever get involved like this with internet strangers. You have no clue who this person really is and what he is capable of. Never share intimate photos or videos with these people. 

And your son never should have been involved at all. It’s dangerous to be introducing him to a man you have never met. You have to do better as a parent here.

Im sad for you as I suspect you’re quite lonely if you resort to cyber relationships. But this is not love. It’s abusive. Your question about the slave is not even relevant when the situation is as dysfunctional and potentially dangerous as this. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Kaandii said:

We have exchanged hundreds of pictures and videos.

They can go viral in a nanosecond and used as revenge porn. You never met this creep and you should expose a child to this pervert. Delete and block asap.

[boltnrun]

43 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

you should expose a child to this pervert.

I think you meant "shouldn't".

Agree, this person has no business interacting with your child.

[Batya33]

If this is a real post you have to do damage control ASAP.  Stop all contact, report as necessary and no more messages or photos or personal information.  You are not in an relationship. You are interacting with a stranger -or group of strangers -you have no idea who else sees everything you write and send - and he is dangerous or she is dangerous.  

[SooSad33]

2 hours ago, Kaandii said:

However when things are bad they are really bad. We argue all the time. He makes me so mad so easily and we fight constantly. He yells and accuses me of lying and cheating and threatens to leave. I scream and swear and cry all the time. 

This is s show of toxic - no good for you. And how could YOU cheat if you two talk up to 12 hrs a day? 😕 .

You screaming & swearing all the time - and you have a kid?

 

2 hours ago, Kaandii said:

So today after another argument he has said that if I dont agree to do anything he asks, be a submissive slave (not sexually) and never question him or he will punish me and destroy my life, share everything about me with the world, and break up and block me everywhere.

Threats again... this guy is NOT nice!  No one deserves to be threatened!

 

It has only been 5 months.. I don't believe any of this is real or 'true love'... ever hear of 'love bombing'?  This guy is a real concern!

He threatens to end things?  Don't wait, YOU do it! And now.

No more head games or control tactics.  Be stronger than this and let him blab on.  He's a nasty person.

Do NOT play into his games.  You remove him from your life any way possible.  Do not give into threats... do your best to play it cool.

 

 

[Tanzi]

On 2/16/2022 at 3:33 PM, Kaandii said:

I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 months now. We are around 6000 miles apart.

Why? Just why?  It deeply bothers me that this is the norm nowadays.  No-one seems to know what being in a real relationship is like.

On 2/16/2022 at 3:33 PM, Kaandii said:

That being said when we do get intimate it is really good. We have exchanged hundreds of pictures and videos.

Is this what being intimate is these days? **sigh**

The reality is, this man has hundreds of pictures and videos of you that he is now threatening you with.  

On 2/16/2022 at 3:33 PM, Kaandii said:

I love him and want to do everything for him but I dont know if I can live like this. Can a submissive/slave relationship ever be good or healthy? 

I think you know the answer to this.

This guy is a real creep.  How can you love a guy who has made such a disgusting threat.  Why would you contemplate letting a man like this in your son's life?  You have to end things with this creep ... but something tells me you won't.

[melancholy123]

You should be so lucky that he gets mad and blocks you everywhere.  Seriously, what are you thinking? Exposing your child to this lunatic?  So wrong on all levels.

Block and delete him NOW.  Dont ever send anyone photos of yourself, they can be around the world via the internet in a split second.  Such a bad move on your part.

You are not in love with this guy that you have never met.  You have no clue who is on the other end of the line.  

 

[Capricorn3]

I can't get my head around how people can get involved in such dysfunction and call the abuse "love" ....... even more so when they have never even met in real life.  What is even more concerning is exposing your child to this toxic abusive creep.  Seriously, what are you thinking?

That said, I have a strong feeling (like some others above), that you won't end it, you won't block/delete him and will simply carry on, even though you are fully aware of all the red flags waving in your face.

Maybe a good idea to look into therapy/counseling to help you figure out why on earth you think any of this is right. This just screams major low self-esteem (imo).