what do i do I need advice

[jamrockg]

I've no idea what do I'm hoping to leave my job and go to university but that would mean moving away from my gf and I've asked her to come with me which we both agree we want that but I don't know if this is the best thing for her and for me. do I leave and go to uni without her and we break up or try and make it work and she comes with me?

[Wiseman2]

Just now, jamrockg said:

I've no idea what do I'm hoping to leave my job and go to university but that would mean moving away from my gf and I've asked her to come with me which we both agree we want that but I don't know if this is the best thing for her and for me. 

How long have you been dating? How old is she?

Can you both afford to support yourselves, especially if she moves? She may resent it and move back so leave this up to her. You may want your freedom when you move and LDRs are difficult. 

[SooSad33]

I second that.  How long have you two been involved?

As I see it, this is YOUR future, so follow your dreams & hopes.. Relationships can fall apart but your future is what you need to focus on.

 

 

[smackie9]

Just discuss with her that if she decides to come with you, she needs to have a plan in place in what she's going to do for a job, paying for her own expenses, division of chores, expectations of private time, boundaries with new friends and hangouts/studying with opposite sex friends, and a plan if things end between you two. 

[mical]

Depends on the subject you are studying and employment goal I’d say. 
 

There are plenty of flexible options. I decided to get back to studying, but I was able to find an online course from the UK 🇬🇧 that’s flexible. 
 

Maybe something similar could work? But it depends on the field of study. I’ll also be working full time, this will just be something extra…

 

 

[Rose Mosse]

23 hours ago, jamrockg said:

I've no idea what do I'm hoping to leave my job and go to university but that would mean moving away from my gf and I've asked her to come with me which we both agree we want that but I don't know if this is the best thing for her and for me. do I leave and go to uni without her and we break up or try and make it work and she comes with me?

That you're asking this question and she's already expressed an interest to move with you makes one wonder whether you've had one foot out the door for some time or have thought about breaking up long before this. 

If the relationship is limping along and you don't see yourself with her, end it. Don't prolong this in an effort to spare her feelings. 

Why are you so uneasy of her judgment or her decision to come with you? Can she not take care of herself? If you have doubts about her ask her what her plans are or what she hopes for herself. She may have a plan already in place or she may be looking or leaning on you too heavily. Have clearer expectations of each other.

[Betterwithout]

a tough decision no doubt.  Not to discount your current situation, but this happens to millions of people that have a relationship at this age.

Love is super powerful, but your goals for your life can be just as powerful and motivating.
As cliche as it sounds, my advice is to listen to your heart.  I mean REALLY listen to it.

Also ask yourself what you figure your life will look like in 5 10 years based on the decision you make today!

[catfeeder]

On 2/7/2022 at 1:14 PM, jamrockg said:

do I leave and go to uni without her and we break up or try and make it work and she comes with me?

Go to uni while allowing things to work out with GF, or not. 

You can't pull the weight for both of you, so just do your part, and allow GF's efforts or lack thereof to determine whether such a move would be right for her, or not.

Read my sig.