Am I being treated poorly by my boyfriend?

[mixedsignals728]

I have been dating someone exclusively for almost 5 months. While I have met some of his friends and he made plans for me to meet his brother who I graciously agreed can stay at my home and his only sibling - his parents are already passed on; I have not met his adult children. He told me they know about me and he was going to set up a time for all of us to meet in person....but nothing has been set up so far.

I have introduced him to both of my adult children, a few close friends and one of my sisters.

He is also attending a wedding shower this weekend and the wedding in March w/o me. While I realize I have only met the friends in question, I am insulted.  I believe the real reason is that my bf's ex will be there and it will make him feel too uncomfortable (but what about me)?

He talks about moving in this year together and we planned a trip later in April for 4 days together yet he doesn't introduce me to his adult kids or take me to a wedding and wedding shower?

I don't want to waste any time - we are both in our 60s.

I just get the feeling like while he makes time for me, he could treat me better. I treat him very well and buy him food to eat when he visits me so he knows I think of him. But when I visit him, he doesn't do anything at all -only if it benefits him too.

Valentine Day is coming up and I'm uncertain what, if any, gift to buy him. He did buy me a sweater for the holidays and gave me a card which said he really cares for me and he signed it "Love". Other than that, he says nothing about the way he feels; doesn't buy flowers when he visits for the weekend or do anything in particular that makes me feel like he really sees me as a long term partner. FYI, he invited his brother to my house that weekend - real romantic.

Am I being impatient?

[Batya33]

Why not ask him what his intentions are?

[Jibralta]

15 minutes ago, mixedsignals728 said:

He talks about moving in this year together

I think you should meet his friends and family before seriously considering moving in with him. 

[waffle]

33 minutes ago, mixedsignals728 said:

While I realize I have only met the friends in question, I am insulted.  I believe the real reason is that my bf's ex will be there and it will make him feel too uncomfortable (but what about me)?

 

And there it is.

Why do you want to play house with this guy? 

[SooSad33]

Do you not think moving him in so quickly is not a good idea?

You've only been dating 5 months.  Not even one year.. or two.

You have no idea IF you two are truly compatible.. yet. Agree?

As for meeting everyone on both sides, that also takes time.  Some people are hesitant.. just in case. Or just don't feel the need to rush everything in that sense.

Regarding these wedding events.  Were they happening before you two became involved?  if so, and most are more familiar with his 'ex', he may feel awkward bringing a 'new woman' to these things. ( again, not too much too fast).  In ways, I can understand him wanting to take things slower.. then why not the same with him moving in with you?

As for the gift thingy, I'd feel okay with a 'new' bf giving my anything for our first Xmas.  I wouldn't expect much at all.  As for all you say YOU are doing for him, that's your choice.. If you feel he should do a little more 'providing' re: food, then you need to speak up on that. 

 

How long has him & his ex been apart/divorced now?  I'd hope for a good while.  not just jump into something with you as soon as things were going downhill.. or as recent as within a year of their split?

[Lambert]

3 hours ago, mixedsignals728 said:

Am I being impatient?

Only you know what is good enough for you. 

From what you wrote, he is not good enough. So why bother with him?  You're not going to change him.  This is him. 

Your life is right now. Not tomorrow, March or April.

I can't speak for you or anyone else.  but I can tell you, I don't waste one minute of my time on people that don't value me.

There's no way I would prioritize a guy that makes me feel like an option. 

It's like that quote... People will forget what you said or did, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. 

Obviously this guy doesn't make you feel good.  Dump him. 

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, mixedsignals728 said:

 he made plans for me to meet his brother who I graciously agreed can stay at my home and his , he invited his brother to my house that weekend - real romantic

Too much too soon. You're trying to fast forward things. You're also overinvolved and overinvesting yet resenting it.

Stop hosting him and his family. Stop feeding and mothering him.

You're posting over and over about this out-of-town wedding you're not invited to and over and over about not meeting his adult children.

Yet you furiously march forward with him. He's divorced but you fear he's going to weddings where his ex-wife will attend.

It's not about his ex-wife or adult children. It's your chronic complaints that you're not happy that he's not as invested or involved as you are.

Slow your roll, step back, stop mothering him. Don't be a free BnB for his family. His people can stay with him.

You want him to step up to level the field, but it's you who needs to step back and observe.

You don't seem to want solutions. You keep posting under different user names, keep getting banned and then just keep posting the same complaints over and over.: