Jump to content

Am I being treated poorly by my boyfriend?


Recommended Posts

I have been dating someone exclusively for almost 5 months. While I have met some of his friends and he made plans for me to meet his brother who I graciously agreed can stay at my home and his only sibling - his parents are already passed on; I have not met his adult children. He told me they know about me and he was going to set up a time for all of us to meet in person....but nothing has been set up so far.

I have introduced him to both of my adult children, a few close friends and one of my sisters.

He is also attending a wedding shower this weekend and the wedding in March w/o me. While I realize I have only met the friends in question, I am insulted.  I believe the real reason is that my bf's ex will be there and it will make him feel too uncomfortable (but what about me)?

He talks about moving in this year together and we planned a trip later in April for 4 days together yet he doesn't introduce me to his adult kids or take me to a wedding and wedding shower?

I don't want to waste any time - we are both in our 60s.

I just get the feeling like while he makes time for me, he could treat me better. I treat him very well and buy him food to eat when he visits me so he knows I think of him. But when I visit him, he doesn't do anything at all -only if it benefits him too.

Valentine Day is coming up and I'm uncertain what, if any, gift to buy him. He did buy me a sweater for the holidays and gave me a card which said he really cares for me and he signed it "Love". Other than that, he says nothing about the way he feels; doesn't buy flowers when he visits for the weekend or do anything in particular that makes me feel like he really sees me as a long term partner. FYI, he invited his brother to my house that weekend - real romantic.

Am I being impatient?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

33 minutes ago, mixedsignals728 said:

While I realize I have only met the friends in question, I am insulted.  I believe the real reason is that my bf's ex will be there and it will make him feel too uncomfortable (but what about me)?

 

And there it is.

Why do you want to play house with this guy? 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you not think moving him in so quickly is not a good idea?

You've only been dating 5 months.  Not even one year.. or two.

You have no idea IF you two are truly compatible.. yet. Agree?

As for meeting everyone on both sides, that also takes time.  Some people are hesitant.. just in case. Or just don't feel the need to rush everything in that sense.

Regarding these wedding events.  Were they happening before you two became involved?  if so, and most are more familiar with his 'ex', he may feel awkward bringing a 'new woman' to these things. ( again, not too much too fast).  In ways, I can understand him wanting to take things slower.. then why not the same with him moving in with you?

As for the gift thingy, I'd feel okay with a 'new' bf giving my anything for our first Xmas.  I wouldn't expect much at all.  As for all you say YOU are doing for him, that's your choice.. If you feel he should do a little more 'providing' re: food, then you need to speak up on that. 

 

How long has him & his ex been apart/divorced now?  I'd hope for a good while.  not just jump into something with you as soon as things were going downhill.. or as recent as within a year of their split?

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, mixedsignals728 said:

Am I being impatient?

Only you know what is good enough for you. 

From what you wrote, he is not good enough. So why bother with him?  You're not going to change him.  This is him. 

Your life is right now. Not tomorrow, March or April.

I can't speak for you or anyone else.  but I can tell you, I don't waste one minute of my time on people that don't value me.

There's no way I would prioritize a guy that makes me feel like an option. 

It's like that quote... People will forget what you said or did, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. 

Obviously this guy doesn't make you feel good.  Dump him. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, mixedsignals728 said:

 he made plans for me to meet his brother who I graciously agreed can stay at my home and his , he invited his brother to my house that weekend - real romantic

Too much too soon. You're trying to fast forward things. You're also overinvolved and overinvesting yet resenting it.

Stop hosting him and his family. Stop feeding and mothering him.

You're posting over and over about this out-of-town wedding you're not invited to and over and over about not meeting his adult children.

Yet you furiously march forward with him. He's divorced but you fear he's going to weddings where his ex-wife will attend.

It's not about his ex-wife or adult children. It's your chronic complaints that you're not happy that he's not as invested or involved as you are.

Slow your roll, step back, stop mothering him. Don't be a free BnB for his family. His people can stay with him.

You want him to step up to level the field, but it's you who needs to step back and observe.

You don't seem to want solutions. You keep posting under different user names, keep getting banned and then just keep posting the same complaints over and over.:

 

Edited by Wiseman2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually (Guide To Building Her Interest And Sexual Attraction)
      Learn how to make a woman want you sexually! In today's video we're talking about sexual attraction and how you make a woman want you! We're going to be discussing some useful tips you can put to work to get a woman interested in you and building that sexual desire. Often men think they know exactly what women want, men in sports cars with big houses a big wallet and a bad boy attitude. This might be what the ladies want in movies but not in real life it's very different. To know what a lady wants you need to understand what you need to do to make her want you sexually. Imagine if you knew the secret formula to do this, the one that tells you exactly what women want sexually. The formula would let you know exactly what you need to do to get a woman to fall into your arms, sounds too good to be true right? Well it's not! It's as easy as being mindful of your own behaviour and adopting steel-proof boundaries. Want to know some more? Well don't move an inch.

       
      • 0 replies
    • How to know when he's really fallen in LOVE
      You’re falling in love with your man deeper every day, but you don’t know if he feels the same way for you. It’s natural to want to know his feelings for you. What happens when he doesn’t say it or he’s not the type to say that? His actions tell you he loves you, but you could be wrong, right? So how do you know when he’s really in love with you? It’s not always so easy, but it’s not impossible either!

       
      • 0 replies
    • 6 Psychological Secrets of Attraction
      Knowing whether or not someone is “into you” can be incredibly difficult if they don’t explicitly say it. In this video, we will be looking at some psychological secrets of attraction.

       
      • 0 replies
    • This Healing Mindset That Helps Overcome Trauma Symptoms
      If you grew up with neglect and abuse, you've needed time to talk about what happened, and how parents and others treated you. But THEN what? Once you've acknowledged the past and gained an understanding of how you developed symptoms of trauma, how can you overcome those symptoms, and move forward with building a happy and fulfilled life? In this video I teach about the two general categories of comments I see on my channel, and what that suggestions about the commenter's readiness to heal.

       
      • 0 replies
    • "I Want A Girlfriend" Do THIS First
      I want a girlfriend. Have you ever found yourself thinking "I want a girlfriend" but you're not quite sure if you're actually ready for one? Before you go about doing anything else it's important to make sure that you actually need a girlfriend right now.

       
        • Like
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...