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Gaze into the abyss...


Fudgie
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6 hours ago, Fudgie said:

Thanks for the reassurance, guys. I think I'll get adjusted in time. My schedule will be 8:30-4, although I will likely be leaving a little earlier than that. I am not paid by the hour, I am salaried, so as long as the job gets done, I'm good (appointment based).

One thing that is nice about having weekends off is that I can hunt with my family again. That's something I'm really looking forward to. 5-6 weeks vacation per year is nice too.

Fudgie! Fellow night owl!

 

Y’know, 11pm should be plenty. I know it isn’t but, you can use your weekends to stay up and relax real late! I stay up way past 11 and I’m getting up with a baby during the night which is so stupid but, you understand 🥲 You know how it is with the energy surge starting say, 4pm! My whole mornings are TERRIBLE!

 

I think your new hours and job sounds AH-MAZING! People would give their left leg for something like that! You’ll definitely adapt, will just take time.

 

And if I had parents who had a gorgeous pool for me to float in silence, my God! Awesome! I’d start to love the summer as well - HA! 
 

You really deserve it. Your house in the country sounds absolutely ideal. I am kinda jel! I have always wanted to be in the country! It’s not practical for us with the husbands work. Maybe, if I get to retirement age, that could be a rose tinted goal of mine 😉

 

Keep us posted!

 

And you hunting simply adds to your coolness! Oh man, I have always, always wanted to go to a shooting range! What do you hunt? 
 

x

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6 hours ago, Fudgie said:

Thanks for the reassurance, guys. I think I'll get adjusted in time. My schedule will be 8:30-4, although I will likely be leaving a little earlier than that. I am not paid by the hour, I am salaried, so as long as the job gets done, I'm good (appointment based).

One thing that is nice about having weekends off is that I can hunt with my family again. That's something I'm really looking forward to. 5-6 weeks vacation per year is nice too.

You're welcome!  You're going to be fine and do great. 

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The only bad thing about staying up late on Friday and Saturday is that it screws up your sleep schedule for the rest of the weekend and the days go quicker sleeping in late.  After working all week, I want to make sure I have my whole Saturday and Sunday. 

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37 minutes ago, beatlesfan77 said:

The only bad thing about staying up late on Friday and Saturday is that it screws up your sleep schedule for the rest of the weekend and the days go quicker sleeping in late.  After working all week, I want to make sure I have my whole Saturday and Sunday. 

I usually can't sleep in anyway. My brain wakes me up at the usual time. On rare occasions I can sleep in until nearly 8 am. 

But it's nice getting out while everyone else is still sleeping. The grocery store is not crowded and hiking trails are not either.

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Knowing me, I'll probably keep the same sleep schedule on the weekends. Getting up at 7-7:30am isn't that bad. Maybe I'll sleep to 8 or 9 or so but not more than that. For me, staying up "late" means falling asleep to midnight or 1am, which would still allow for enough sleep without sleeping in TOO much.

I think I'll probably start planning ahead a little bit and maybe ordering my groceries to go. Not delivery, just pick-up, so I can avoid the crowds. 

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9 minutes ago, Fudgie said:

Knowing me, I'll probably keep the same sleep schedule on the weekends. Getting up at 7-7:30am isn't that bad. Maybe I'll sleep to 8 or 9 or so but not more than that. For me, staying up "late" means falling asleep to midnight or 1am, which would still allow for enough sleep without sleeping in TOO much.

I think I'll probably start planning ahead a little bit and maybe ordering my groceries to go. Not delivery, just pick-up, so I can avoid the crowds. 

I've done grocery pickup for non-perishable items but I don't trust the people doing the selection to pick out the freshest meat, produce and dairy. Plus I know whatever's on top or in front were put backs that were left at the cash register or on a random shelf for three hours lol. 

I go to the store either early in the morning before 10 am or at dinner time. Or on Saturday night. Almost no one is grocery shopping at 8 pm on Saturday night! Although the shelves are often a bit bare and the service meat and deli counters aren't open so it's a trade off.

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2 hours ago, mylolita said:

Fudgie! Fellow night owl!

 

Y’know, 11pm should be plenty. I know it isn’t but, you can use your weekends to stay up and relax real late! I stay up way past 11 and I’m getting up with a baby during the night which is so stupid but, you understand 🥲 You know how it is with the energy surge starting say, 4pm! My whole mornings are TERRIBLE!

 

I think your new hours and job sounds AH-MAZING! People would give their left leg for something like that! You’ll definitely adapt, will just take time.

 

And if I had parents who had a gorgeous pool for me to float in silence, my God! Awesome! I’d start to love the summer as well - HA! 
 

You really deserve it. Your house in the country sounds absolutely ideal. I am kinda jel! I have always wanted to be in the country! It’s not practical for us with the husbands work. Maybe, if I get to retirement age, that could be a rose tinted goal of mine 😉

 

Keep us posted!

 

And you hunting simply adds to your coolness! Oh man, I have always, always wanted to go to a shooting range! What do you hunt? 
 

x

I do love my little house. My parents, they are really out in the middle of nowhere. I have some people around me (not many though) and I'm in a small, rural town. It's so quiet where I live. On the hour, I can hear some distant church bells from the church, occasionally I hear a distant train. Ironically, my desire to live further out is what led me to this house and the ability to snag it when I did. I truly am lucky.

Absolutely could be a retirement goal! Do you like to garden? I do not have a garden (yet) but I have space here and a big backyard so I could definitely have a garden. The previous owner left some bulbs so I do have some perennials coming up. Right now, I have succulents only indoors.

I hunt a variety: deer, rabbit, water fowl, and pheasant. I eat everything I get. I want to get into fishing at some point. It's peaceful being in nature, especially in a forest. 

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2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I've done grocery pickup for non-perishable items but I don't trust the people doing the selection to pick out the freshest meat, produce and dairy. Plus I know whatever's on top or in front were put backs that were left at the cash register or on a random shelf for three hours lol. 

I go to the store either early in the morning before 10 am or at dinner time. Or on Saturday night. Almost no one is grocery shopping at 8 pm on Saturday night! Although the shelves are often a bit bare and the service meat and deli counters aren't open so it's a trade off.

That's a good point. If I'm buying fresh, pickable produce, I will prefer to go in myself. If it's bagged produce and other goods, I don't care as much. That's a good idea, going before 10am. I'll have to do that. 

In the future, I plan to see what my coworkers do. Maybe some work 4 days a week, either working longer/heavier those days or just having a day of virtual appt only. That's another possibility that I'm open to. We will see. But I think I will adjust accordingly and go with the flow. Eager to start this new chapter in my life. 

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12 minutes ago, Fudgie said:

I do love my little house. My parents, they are really out in the middle of nowhere. I have some people around me (not many though) and I'm in a small, rural town. It's so quiet where I live. On the hour, I can hear some distant church bells from the church, occasionally I hear a distant train. Ironically, my desire to live further out is what led me to this house and the ability to snag it when I did. I truly am lucky.

Absolutely could be a retirement goal! Do you like to garden? I do not have a garden (yet) but I have space here and a big backyard so I could definitely have a garden. The previous owner left some bulbs so I do have some perennials coming up. Right now, I have succulents only indoors.

I hunt a variety: deer, rabbit, water fowl, and pheasant. I eat everything I get. I want to get into fishing at some point. It's peaceful being in nature, especially in a forest. 

This is fabulous Fudgie!

 

I can just imagine it now! Aaanhh! 

 

I ADORE the sound of trains and church bells! The street we have bought on, is on a big bank, and there is a church at one end, you can hear the bells every hour, and a train track over a bridge at the other! So you get the lovely rickety sound of a slow train going by every 45 minutes! Our son is especially amped in a big way to be able to look out of his bedroom window and TRAIN SPOT! He is train MAD! ☺️
 

I feel peaceful and relaxed just reading about your house! We aren’t rural, we are a coastal tourist town actually, we just moved here. We have a celebrity who lives on our street, and another celebrity a few streets down. It’s quite small still but, it‘s already amping up for summer. We moved here November. I can feel the influxes coming!

 

I’ll be heading out to the beach with the kids real early soon to avoid the swarms! 
 

I’m a right grouch! 🤣🥲

 

And your hunting spoils sound AMAZING! Bet you eat some knock out meals at your place!

 

x

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  • 2 weeks later...

Lo - I think I'm a pretty good cook, although my time is very limited lately so I don't get to do a lot of it. Lately I've been eating a LOT of frozen fish. However, that is changing soon.

I am well-stocked on venison. I love venison steak, definitely when eaten around bunch time, with maybe an egg, some toast, and fruit. Steak 'n' eggs I suppose. I have family coming soon to see me (cousin) for a few days. He's going to help me out with a bunch of tasks. Anyway, I bring that up because he makes a MEAN venison steak with crushed, dried juniper. 

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6 hours ago, Fudgie said:

Lo - I think I'm a pretty good cook, although my time is very limited lately so I don't get to do a lot of it. Lately I've been eating a LOT of frozen fish. However, that is changing soon.

I am well-stocked on venison. I love venison steak, definitely when eaten around bunch time, with maybe an egg, some toast, and fruit. Steak 'n' eggs I suppose. I have family coming soon to see me (cousin) for a few days. He's going to help me out with a bunch of tasks. Anyway, I bring that up because he makes a MEAN venison steak with crushed, dried juniper. 

We had venison for our main course at our wedding! It was a “kind of” posh bbq basically! Outside in the summer under a marquee! All friends we never had any hired staff there! Venison burgers! And chicken skewers! And loads of desserts because I am a sweet tooth kinda gal!

 

Sounds absolutely perfect!

 

Also from what you have said Fudgie, about the, don’t liking crowds and wanting to be out of it and in peace and serenity and, low population… would you say you were highly empathetic? Or an empath as some people say?

 

I read an article recently that said people like you who are very in touch with others feelings and emotions can get overloaded by a city and find them stressful to live in - as if, you take on so much of other people, hoarders of people is just too much! Abs you need that quiet peace to re-charge? As a necessity almost?

 

Wanted to know if you thought that rang true for yourself!

 

Hope the house is coming along! Have a fab time with your family!

 

x

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PS I am highly domesticated Fudgie and adore looking after people by making sure sheets are fresh and changed, fridge is stocked, house is always neat and sparkling, fresh flowers in vases, candles lit on a night! 
 

I feel like on some weird alternative universe level we would’ve been harmonious room mates at uni or something. You would’ve been doing medicine I would have been doing English 🤣 Is that weird of me to say that? It’s like the people that ying to my yang are people who have the practical side of themselves down, and I can compliment that by adding the fuss and frill 🤣 and then they stabilise me in return? Not sure if that makes any sense! I may have you all wrong and be presuming the wrong things here!

 

I just remember you saying you hate housework 🤓

 


*waves duster in air with glee* 

 

x

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8 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I've never had venison although I'd like to try it. I have had buffalo, boar and lamb. Does the flavor resemble any of those?

I've had bison, which I found to be very similar to beef. I've not had buffalo. Boar and lamb are good but no, I wouldn't say that deer resembles them.

Venison, at least to me, has a leaner, more "earth" taste. I don't want to say nutty but it is more aromatic than beef, but less so than lamb. It's definitely lean, and not really fatty, a good "clean" taste. I have my steaks done on the rarer side. I find that it's way easier to overcook venison, it's like it reaches an inedible point due to overcooking WAY quicker than beef. Maybe because it's of the composition and reduced fat content, not sure. 

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Lol, Lo, I loved reading your replies. 

To answer, "am I an empath?", the answer is, I'm not really sure. I have some traits but I've noticed that as I've gotten older, I lack others. I have really, really good intuition with people, both in terms of their feelings and health status, but I chalk that up to 12+ years (good God, it's really been that long? and that's only counting my "full time" years) of working in healthcare. 

I can certainly read many people and their emotions. I enjoy talking to people and figuring things out, especially addressing coginitive distortions and logical pitfalls. I get some enjoyment when I see someone's face change and they go "oh I didn't think about it that way". I really do need my time to recharge alone. I am social in smaller doses. 

That said, I don't feel that I internalize other people's "energies" as much. I think I kind of did when I was younger but not as much. I've spent extended time talking to people (both children and adults) on an ongoing basis who have done bad things and yes, sometimes they talk about it. Things like child molestation, torturing animals, domestic abuse of their wives, etc. I'm able to compartmentalize pretty well, tuck "work" things in a "work" drawer, and do something else. I've been burned out at work before but for me, the difference was that I was pressured/forced to do things that I fundamentally hated or disagreed with. Talking to people who have done horrific things is not something I hate. The trauma that they have inflicted is not on me and if I can keep a positive relationship so that they will return and know that they can seek out help if they need it, which may prevent future atrocities, than I'm content with that because that can prevent abuse.

I had to grow up very quickly as a kid and when I get upset emotionally, I tend to "shut down" and walk away. I was not in an environment where I felt that I could "let it out". As I've aged, this ability has allowed me to be really good at my job because I CAN be empathetic but I don't take it home or internalize it. That said, I do think I have struggled with emotional vulnerability in relationships, particularly romantic ones, double-edged sword and all!

 

Acutally, from all that I've read about you, I do thing we are like yin/yang, hehe. I think you have me pegged! Yes, I don't like housework. Okay, well, I kind of take that back - I like being "handy". I installed a brand new utility sink recently and also re-did the drain plumbing with new PVC so now it doesn't leak. But domestic stuff? Hell no! I have been begrudgingly doing it so far (yes it does feel differently when you own said house) but it's not my favorite. I like that you're domestic and truly enjoy it, I think that's really wonderful! I wish some of that could rub off on me!

I do like working hard, making/managing money, being handy, having my academic interests/continuing school, playing games, etc. Basically: work, tinker, and leisure. I know I sound like a 1950s husband stereotype but it's totally true. I'm very practical and laid back (and yes, I'll calm people down who are having high anxiety) but I'm lazy domestically. I think that's why I have sort of settled more into singledom as I think (straight) men, at least smart and interesting ones, don't want to be the maid.

That said, my cousin is very much my opposite. He's very domestic and enjoys all of it. My place is always SO CLEAN after he leaves and he loves cooking and I love eating so, that's good! On the other hand, he can be a little neurotic but I know how to get him to chill out. 

Yin/Yang is a good thing! I can offer what others may not have, but I also benefit from their talents which I lack. 

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Does anyone ever feel existential angst?

I normally do a good job at keeping at bay but I feel it more acutely at times, this being one of them. 

I'm struck at the impermanence of my life. It's something I've always known but I suppose I put it aside in order to live functionally. My house was built before my ancestors came to the US and I'm sure it will be here after I'm dead. How many years after I die will my name cease to hold any recognition for anyone? What is the point of having a grave, if no one is going to visit it and it's just another headstone with a seemingly random name? 

Why do I feel as though I'm on a conveyer belt to oblivion and in my current line of work, I attempt to help others cope with that? (among other things)

The human consciousness cannot fully comprehend the idea of "forever". Yet we all struggle with the idea of our own mortality. Maybe mortality is incomprehensible because we can't comprehend the idea of a "forever", that is, a true end into oblivion. 

What happens when that time for me arrives? Will I go quietly? Will I "rage, rage against the dying of the light" (Dylan Thomas)? What is the point of raging against the ultimate inevitability? 

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9 hours ago, Fudgie said:

Does anyone ever feel existential angst?

I normally do a good job at keeping at bay but I feel it more acutely at times, this being one of them. 

I'm struck at the impermanence of my life. It's something I've always known but I suppose I put it aside in order to live functionally. My house was built before my ancestors came to the US and I'm sure it will be here after I'm dead. How many years after I die will my name cease to hold any recognition for anyone? What is the point of having a grave, if no one is going to visit it and it's just another headstone with a seemingly random name? 

Why do I feel as though I'm on a conveyer belt to oblivion and in my current line of work, I attempt to help others cope with that? (among other things)

The human consciousness cannot fully comprehend the idea of "forever". Yet we all struggle with the idea of our own mortality. Maybe mortality is incomprehensible because we can't comprehend the idea of a "forever", that is, a true end into oblivion. 

What happens when that time for me arrives? Will I go quietly? Will I "rage, rage against the dying of the light" (Dylan Thomas)? What is the point of raging against the ultimate inevitability? 

Fudgie!

 

I could have wrote this post myself (but not as well) all through last week and this.

 

Death never seemed to bother me before and I would say things regarding it quite flippantly but; maybe it was all a phoney casual bluff. What hit me first was putting my own children to bed one night and I realised that in having them, as beautiful and innocent and young and pure as they are now, they will one day (hopefully) be an old lady or old man themselves. And have to face it all; me and my husband long gone. One might even be left standing, actually extremely likely, the other siblings gone. I can’t tell you how morbid a thought it was when it hit me. It made me feel physically sick.

 

As a parent, you want to protect and shield your children from everything. I can’t do that when it comes to the inevitable.
 

I had almost an anxiety attack a few weeks ago thinking about it. I fear dying if it is painful, suffocating? Traumatic? I don’t fear after. I just worry about how everyone else will be. I hear a lot of people who are very elderly feel ready? Become almost, “bored of it all?” I just don’t know. Is this something people parrot to make us feel better? 

 

This intense fear of death happened after my husband collapsed and he stopped breathing infront of me. Then my Grandma died and I had to face her casket with curtains closing around it when I had just spoken to her the week or so before. I don’t know. I had just had my little baby and it was a stark contrast.

 

I wish I could say something better than this Fudgie. But, you are very much not alone in this.

 

How old are your by the way? If you don’t mind me asking! When I was in my teens and 20s it seemed a lifetime away. Entering my 30s, although I am still (ha ha! Hopefully! Let’s say!) relatively young at 32, oh man… sure. It drifts into my mind sometimes. And during the good parts as well. I must just live to internally torment myself!

 

If you find a way of easing thoughts please swing them my way too!

 

Taking my mind off it with renovations and looking after the kids help. Organising my wardrobe. Absolute triviality. Shopping. Being alone for stretches is something I need but it does bring the worst thoughts out most of the time!

 

I just don’t know how everyone can walk around so cool about everything with this knowledge we have but I guess someone looking in on me from the outside would say the exact same thing!

 

Modern life has made us a distant cousin to death. A couple of hundred years back it was all around and everyone faced it often. People were more religious, talked about it all the time, had nice and comforting beliefs confirmed every weekend regarding after death and a beautiful eternity awaiting us and to be reunited with loved ones. If you don’t believe this, as Winston Churchill once said; just a “velvety blackness” awaits, it makes this time we have oh so much more precious but also much more terrifying! 
 

There is no end game. That’s what gets me. There’s not this that and this that you do and then you somehow can dodge it. No money or health fads or talent is gonna get you out of it! 
 

SORRY! Oh my God I am just terribly pessimistic this moment in time about this! Sorry Fudgie! 
 

No but… it makes it more special. You have to try and enjoy every passing minute. 
 

My husband touched base with old school friends he hadn’t seen in 25 years. A girl who he was top of the class with had gone to New York, been some big time attorney. She had a sudden brain tumour and died, leaving husband and two children (young still) behind. Her brother so strangely died of the same thing a year before her but unrelated. How just; terribly tragic. My husband keeps saying I don’t know how lucky I am. Very very true. We have to appreciate every last drop. 
 

We wouldn’t have our highs if this life was finite. It would be, irritating. We need an end I think, even if we don’t want it if we got the choice. It’s a lovely cycle. We have to move aside for the next. It’s okay if we never became politicians or famous or rich. None of that matters. I believe the good things you did and do matter, the energy is put out there and it carries on through others who then pass it on and on.

 

I already see myself genetically living forever in my children’s DNA. Other people, the good they do, carries silently through eternity. 
 

Consciousness is a blessing and a curse isn’t it! 
 

Darn! Again, sorry Fudgie! Your blog. Sorry for my, blah blah blah! 
 

Happy Monday and all that - LOL! 

 

x

 

 

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Sorry again Fudgie but I had to add…

 

I watched a documentary once a lady went to live with a pigmy tribe. I can’t remember the name I will have to get it for you if interested. Anyway, they had such a challenging but simple but insanely joyous and tragic life all in once go.

 

The social was so powerful there - something that is lacking in modern society. I think being part of a close do or die social group in a tribe like survival mentality bonds people and makes them feel not alone, stops you thinking of such things on the regular. I do believe that. We have lost touch with nature, our animal selves. It’s all, WiFi and screens and solo tv time. It’s so bad for us, we all know it. It’s making us depressed I think, as a western nation. We traded in medical advancement and all the pros and cons for a life of low key anxiety and we don’t know why.

 

They stayed up real late dancing all night, playing drums. Kids ran in packs naked and free as kids want to do! All they had to do was everyday spend 2 hours getting their main meal. Everything else was down time. They had this thing every morning called a masambo where they would shout out their grievances and get it out of their system every morning to the waking village.

 

They approached death which was quite common in a spiritual and accepting way. They cried and all cried together then danced all night. 
 

I’m not saying this is the key but other cultures seem not to wrestle as hard as we do. It still is terrible for them but, I don’t know. Some of the Buddhist eastern angles seem gentle and comforting. 
 

When I watched that documentary, I was running around trying to gather all this expensive stuff up for my second baby, feeling sorry and bratty and stressed that everything wasn’t perfect, and those women were having their babies solo in a mud hut floor and then popping them in a sling. Insane. And there I was panicking. I envied them, actually. 
 

x

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I'm at peace regarding death because I believe I know what happens after I die. So I focus on being a good person so I get to ride the elevator going up, so to speak, instead of the one going down.

I don't think what happens here has much importance beyond our time on Earth. So much squabbling over opinions and politics and for what? I want to leave the planet clean and safe for those who come after me. So I do the best I can to make that happen. Have a positive impact and leave as little garbage behind as possible. That's my slogan.

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Hey, Fudgie!  Nice to see you back and catch up on your exciting updates!  So glad you’re getting a new job and leaving that toxic environment. And how fun is it to have your own home?!?  We bought a cabin on 24 acres last year and are in the renovation phase. It’s a labor of love, for sure. 

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I love how you used "The Dying of the Light" as a reference point here.  I only know about it because of the Nolan film, probably unlike a lot of others, but you made me look it up in its entirety and damn, what a poem.

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And speaking of the light, the abyss only has a staring contest as long as you let it.  Keep looking, go deeper, and eventually the light returns in your view.  It's not easy, it takes a monk's level of dedication, but it is there, waiting for you.

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  • 1 month later...

Lo,

I agree with you - I think we are really disconnected as a society and it is hurting us. My happiest times, in memory, are from when I was a child. I had a couple (still do) lifelong friends, my age, and we grew up together. We used to get together with our families regularly and eat loads of pizza and run around outside in gigantic yards/woods, playing games until the late hours. Our parents would be talking and drinking and so we just kind of ran free. That unstructured time was so important to me.

Life is just very different now. I work a lot although with my new job, it won't be quite as much, thankfully. But my goal is to maximize my leisure time and spend as much time doing hobbies and other things that I love.

I do think humans, just by our nature and ability to think in certain ways, struggle with exsistential angst, which I've definitely been struggling with from time to time. I think religion can provide some people with comfort but I am not religious at all. I think having social support, religious or not, helps a lot, as people can lean on each other. Eastern philosophies tend to be more accepting of the notion that there are many things that we just don't know for sure and never will. There's comfort to be had in that. 

For me, I am still trying to find what works for me. I don't have children to place my hope in and I have accepted that my existence is, for all intents and purposes, finite to a T, genetically, socially, physically, everything. I would wager that I have maybe 30-50 years max after my death before my name is meaningless and memories are gone, no matter what I do. How do I make it count? What will my life look like? 

I am in the process of buying a plot in a very old cemetery - my favorite cemetery actually - for myself one day. It can fit 2 people (if both ashes) or just one (ash/body). The plots around it are mostly late 1800s/early 1900s and there are lots of trees and moss. I like to go there and think: this is where I'll be at the end of my days, I know where I will be but how will I get there? What will do before I end up here in the ground? 

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On 5/12/2022 at 1:10 PM, Clarisse said:

Hey, Fudgie!  Nice to see you back and catch up on your exciting updates!  So glad you’re getting a new job and leaving that toxic environment. And how fun is it to have your own home?!?  We bought a cabin on 24 acres last year and are in the renovation phase. It’s a labor of love, for sure. 

I really enjoy having my own place! It's a very solid, old (1800s) home with a LOT of space. I am very thankful that I had the sense to redo the HVAC and get central A/C - I've certainly been using it and thankfully, it's not that expensive to keep myself comfortable!

 

So jealous - 24 acres!!! Is it wooded? You must be having a lot of fun with that - any plans on what to do with that land?

I have medium/largish backyard. I pay a small amount to have one of my neighbors mow it for me and weedwhack. I basically just tend the flowers I have in the front. I want to get some solar-powered garden lamps, the kind you put in the ground. I have wild berries in the back of my house (been there for many years), lots of lavender bushes, everything. I love it. 

If I want a little more privacy, I plan to plant a certain kind of conifer tree down the one side of my fence, just a few. But that will be something I'll do in the future. Right now my neighbors are awesome, no complaints here. 

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