Thoughts on rings on left ring finger?

[Fudgie]

Haha that is a funny reply! 😆 If only I could say that (even though I'm not meeting up with anyone for frolics) 

[Cherylyn]

17 minutes ago, Fudgie said:

Yes, I'm hoping to find a similar workplace, at least to start. My goal is to do more contract-type stuff and WFH, as this career is extremely amenable to that and I'll have a lot of opportunities. I've had several offers (I know a ton of people in the field) but I may need to work a M-F type job for a while and I'm crossing my fingers that it will be drama - free.

My current workplace is a toxic cesspool, just being honest. It hasn't really affected me because I put my head down and do my best to appear non-threatening to the "trouble-makers" but it's been hell for some of my coworkers. I don't want to work in such a place again. 

It's good that you do not intend on remaining at your dramatic, toxic cesspool environment at the workplace. 

If wearing a ring on your left finger while unmarried is going to create a lot of headaches for you such as prying questions, gossip, dishonest reputation and the like, you'll have to weigh if it's worth the hassle of wearing the ring on your left finger in the first place.  If you do not want controversy, confrontations and nosy colleagues who don't know how to mind their business, then perhaps it's not worth the hassle to wear the ring on your left finger.  I know it goes against your original wishes to wear the ring.  However, given your unhealthy work atmosphere, you need to question what is more important to you:  wearing the ring while being bombarded with uncomfortable questions or not wear the ring and work more peacefully while unbothered. 

Since your current job is temporary, you may want to consider putting the ring wearing on hold until you can do more contract-type work from home (WFH). 

I always look at situations and scenarios.  Either choose a convenient route or stick to your rights and be prepared for annoying interactions with others.  It's your choice. 

[boltnrun]

I have a hard time believing that the powers that be would say "Fudgie is a skilled, knowledgeable employee with an exemplary work record. But she wears that ring on her wedding ring finger even though she's not married, so we're going to bypass her and promote someone less qualified."

I mean, really??

[Fudgie]

Oh I'm not worried about my current job at all. It's a toxic mess but I'm not affected. Been there really awhile, no one bothers me anymore. I don't care if anyone asks at my job, although I doubt it, the nosy busybodies think I live a life of carefree frivolity because I told them I like video games 🙃 so they leave me alone (yay) so I'll definitely be wearing that ring around them. 

I'm thinking more about the future, in a matter of months, when my role is changing completely and fostering appropriate rapport and not wanting people to think I'm sketchy. 

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Fudgie said:

Oh I'm not worried about my current job at all. It's a toxic mess but I'm not affected. Been there really awhile, no one bothers me anymore. I don't care if anyone asks at my job, although I doubt it, the nosy busybodies think I live a life of carefree frivolity because I told them I like video games 🙃 so they leave me alone (yay) so I'll definitely be wearing that ring around them. 

I'm thinking more about the future, in a matter of months, when my role is changing completely and fostering appropriate rapport and not wanting people to think I'm sketchy. 

Still applies. A potential employer isn't going to pass over a well qualified candidate who is skilled, professional and has a great work history and ethic because they wear a ring on a certain finger. 

I've done a lot of hiring and not once have I even looked at a candidate's rings or noticed what finger they're on.

 

[Rose Mosse]

5 hours ago, Fudgie said:

My rings are either simple bands with or without gemstones embedded (no diamonds), either silver or gold because I don't like anything that "sticks out", does that sense? I love opal, obsidian, peridot, etc. 

This sounds really pretty actually.

The only thing sketchy would be coworkers reading into items down to the very itty bitty details like this that have nothing to do with work and everything to do with being a busy body. 

I also forgot to mention earlier.. congrats on the weight loss and doing well for yourself. Don't you let anyone rain on your parade. Once you leave this work place or find something else, these worries and thoughts about how people perceive you will also likely fade. You won't be immersed with such people anymore. 

[Fudgie]

13 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Still applies. A potential employer isn't going to pass over a well qualified candidate who is skilled, professional and has a great work history and ethic because they wear a ring on a certain finger. 

I've done a lot of hiring and not once have I even looked at a candidate's rings or noticed what finger they're on.

 

Honestly, I'm not worried about not being hired/promoted because of this. I'm more concerned about potentially damaging future (not current, because I don't care) colleague rapport because maybe someone (man or woman doesn't matter) thinks what I'm doing is sketchy and having that affect my job somehow. 

I clearly overestimated the importance of ring placement and overthought it, that much is obvious. I can't assume that working in my current workplace (almost 2y now) isn't affecting me somehow, despite me being spared from the toxicity. It has put me on "high alert" regardless. I haven't changed myself or what I do at work, but I definitely have to be mindful. So that's a good point Rosse. 

God, healthcare is so toxic sometimes. I like most of my coworkers but the few bad apples (including my boss, who likes to spread rumors about others, will feed you fake info to see if you gossip about her, etc.) poison the bushell. 

At the end of the day, it's more a paycheck, not a passion, but I don't hate what I do and it's interesting, so that's alright with me. 

[Batya33]

I don't think this choice of jewelry could ever be seen as sketchy.  Ironically in a novel I just started the potential landlord studies her potential tenant's ring fingers, noting all the rings including one that looks like a wedding band -showed me that maybe certain people do focus on this -at least in fiction!

[boltnrun]

If a potential coworker is so bored or has so little going on in their life that they focus on your rings...well, they're petty anyway and will always find something to gossip about.

But again, I think you're doing what my mother called borrowing trouble. Worrying about something that probably will never happen.

Could it be that maybe you feel like you would be doing something "sketchy" or misleading, and you're projecting it onto future potential coworkers? Because I really can't imagine anyone will care, but maybe you do?

[Fudgie]

2 hours ago, boltnrun said:

If a potential coworker is so bored or has so little going on in their life that they focus on your rings...well, they're petty anyway and will always find something to gossip about.

But again, I think you're doing what my mother called borrowing trouble. Worrying about something that probably will never happen.

Could it be that maybe you feel like you would be doing something "sketchy" or misleading, and you're projecting it onto future potential coworkers? Because I really can't imagine anyone will care, but maybe you do?

I don't feel I'm doing anything sketchy, no. However, I'm going into a role where trust is pretty damn important among colleagues so I'm looking to see if there are things I may do that will hinder or foster that. 

Growing up, I was told absolutely not to wear a ring on the left ring finger unless engaged/married. My mother in particular didn't like me doing it when I was younger even though I feel, as a right-handed person, it's the most "natural" ring finger for me. 

I don't feel that I'm projecting but I probably do have some lingering ambivalence due to that aspect of my upbringing. My parents are not super traditional but they express worry that I don't date anymore. My dad especially. My mom really hopes I'll find someone in the future and voices worry/displeasure when I scoff at the suggestion of meeting someone, even someone "good" through their networks, maybe a doctor or a lawyer. They don't really seem to understand my viewpoint or my reasoning for doing what I do and it's kind of frustrating but I will carry on regardless. 

[boltnrun]

5 minutes ago, Fudgie said:

Growing up, I was told absolutely not to wear a ring on the left ring finger unless engaged/married. My mother in particular didn't like me doing it when I was younger even though I feel, as a right-handed person, it's the most "natural" ring finger for me. 

Ok, this explains a lot. I can see where you got this belief that wearing this ring will make people think you're "sketchy" or not to be trusted.

But it's a false narrative.

Believe me, people with any semblance of a life will not even notice. And the ones who do will find any excuse to gossip. And those people usually aren't in positions of power anyway.

If anyone is rude enough to ask, just say "nope, not married or engaged, I just love this ring and it fits this finger the best." But I sincerely doubt anyone will even notice.

[dias]

1 hour ago, Fudgie said:

I don't feel that I'm projecting but I probably do have some lingering ambivalence due to that aspect of my upbringing. My parents are not super traditional but they express worry that I don't date anymore. My dad especially. My mom really hopes I'll find someone in the future and voices worry/displeasure when I scoff at the suggestion of meeting someone, even someone "good" through their networks, maybe a doctor or a lawyer. They don't really seem to understand my viewpoint or my reasoning for doing what I do and it's kind of frustrating but I will carry on regardless. 

Do we have the same parents??

Joking aside, I don't believe it poses a potential hindrance to your career in any way. It's just a ring. It surprises me you would even thought about it. Do what you want. 

[Blue_Skirt]

In the country where I grew up in Europe, traditionally catholics would wear their wedding ring on their left hand, protestants would wear it on their right hand.

Personally, I never pay attention to wedding rings and on which hand they are worn, because I never wanted to get married in the first place and I am not into weddings and rings. Also, I might not recognize a white gold ring as a wedding ring, because my parents as well as aunts and uncles would have a yellow gold ring, that`s what for me a wedding ring looks like.

Long time ago I was wearing a ring sometimes, but always on my left finger, because I am right handed and it simply would bother me to wear it on the right hand when I have to write. I have stopped wearing rings altogether now.

I understand what you say about your upbringing, but if you love rings, you wear them on whatever finger you like, there is nothing sketchy about it.

[Fudgie]

Thanks for all the replies. Yeah, I guess I was really overthinking it. I started wearing the ring on my left ring finger and I love it, feels perfect. I already have two on my right ring finger (small rings). I have an older silver ring with fossilized amber that I need to get resized and I can wear that too. 

Life is short, wear the ring!

[Spawn]

Personally don't think it really matters and in professional environment as long as you are in a professional attire all these rings,chains etc doesn't really matter, all that matters would be the quality of your work and the way you manage it. I have a ring on the right hand 4th finger it has a stone (emerald) , nobody has asked me about it nor have i lost opportunities or got cheap benefits off it 🙂 . May be it just never looked good to anybody or am plain boring for them to notice that finger or the ring😉