Feeling lost and confused after a break up

[MissCanuck]

You're being too impatient with yourself, Bz. 

Two months is not that long in the timeline of healing - especially when the relationship was toxic. It's not just about your feelings for him fading or getting "closure" from him or such things; it's also about healing yourself and your (sorry) doormat tendencies. The latter in particular is going to take time, and lots of it. There seems to be a heightened fear of abandonment here, and that has nothing to do with him. It's about you and working on your own issues that you brought into the relationship. 

You need to be kinder to yourself, and not expect moving on to happen too quickly. Yes, those feelings hurt and it's exhausting. But if you start taking the focus off of him and start shifting it onto you, and what you need to change to lead a happier life and make better love decisions (ie not sticking around and pandering to a crappy person) it will start to get easier. 

[Wiseman2]

On 11/13/2021 at 5:21 AM, Bz77 said:

It's been 2 months, I hope they fade soon

Have you seen a physician about the ongoing depression and anxiety? 

An evaluation of your physical and mental health would help you. Perhaps you have metabolic neurological or something else going on. At least get checked out because right now you're going in circles.

2 bad therapists who just give up on you and tell you what to hear aren't helping you, are they?

Why 2 therapists? One good one is better than 2 conflicting ones, no?

Heartaches hurt for a while. That's ok. But you need to retool your life a bit and stop being so hung up on his degree. Every other post obsesses about "his PhD". Why is that?

Do some soul searching. Reflect what you want out of your life.