NC Bandwagon

[zrehman]

Nope no call whatsoever....I actually was hoping he would. that he'd have enough respect for me to call me back....the person that loved him....he knew how much i loved him...sometimes he used to say "you dont love me anymore" just to get a reaction from me because that used to irritate me...

 

Tomorrow is a BRAND new day. I'm not quite back to square one even though this has put me back but I will be ok....as the song goes "the sun will shine tomorrow...", unless its couldy and overcast like today ;-P

 

I just need a hug.

 

Ahhh you poor thing, hun ... don't worry, that's a beautiful quote and it is not too far ahead of you!

 

Just remember that we are all here for you ... so post if you start feeling weak, someone is constantly online and checking posts and you will get a response with a whole lot of motivation to get you back in to game mode!

 

Good night and let me know how you feeling tomorrow!

 

I can't wait for your post!

[cookiedough1]

we are all weak....that's why we come here to get support. It's day 4 for me...and trust me, I'm worried I will break down and call/email him at some point. I hope to God something will steer me away each and every time I am tempted!!

 

Keep going kiwi....1 step back doesn't mean the end. As long as you've decided in your mind to start NC again...it's never too late.

[crab62]

we are all weak....that's why we come here to get support. It's day 4 for me...and trust me, I'm worried I will break down and call/email him at some point. I hope to God something will steer me away each and every time I am tempted!!

 

Keep going kiwi....1 step back doesn't mean the end. As long as you've decided in your mind to start NC again...it's never too late.

 

 

cookiedough... you will not break down... why?... because you have me!!, and you have this board... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

you will make it... I know you will

[SighSob]

Can I join the NC Bandwagon? It's day 2 for me and I feel good. I know it will last just a couple hours, but I'm enjoying this phase...

[zrehman]

DAY 2

 

Ugh! I feel like crap ... after I sent her that text message yesterday that it was too hard for me to be doing this and that I can't be doing this anymore ... good bye. She didn't even reply back to the text .. which actually bothers me, because it's like she doesn't care to at least acknowledge what I'm sending her.

 

Last night, I started thinking about her a lot!! I know she has plans for New Years, because she was talking about them prior to us not talking. So I know she has a new dress and I know for a fact she is gonna make sure she is looking killer sexy tomorrow night and I am 100% sure that TONS of guys are gonna be hitting on her .. it makes me sick to my stomach because us not being in a relationship ... I have no control.

 

I was trying to fight it last night and I said to myself ... I can't force her or convince her in ANYWAY to come back to me ... so what's the point in trying. She made up her mind and that's it!

 

What I told myself last night was ... I'm going to make her regret leaving me because I am gonna make myself into a super star! lol

 

I have my USMLE Step 1 exam coming up in May ... if I can do well on that exam, then I will feel like I'm on top of the world! So my goal is to kill that exam and once she find out were I am at in life ... she will regret leaving me!

 

Well today is another day ... Its 9:16 am and I have to start studying

 

Well wish me luck today and hope I don't break down! Take care!

[kiwi24]

If she is getting all dressed up then make sure you look good too! Don't show her she's in your head even though she is. You can enjoy life without her. DOn't make her a priority anymore. Your exams are your priority and I wish you luck with them!

 

I know exactly what you are saying above! Up to the point I fell asleep I kept expecting him to call and to just have a heart. And now I am upset...upset because there must be something more to it than just the parents...there has to be otherwise he wouldnt quit talking just like that.

Today I'm angry...i'm hurting...and i don't want to cry at work....i'm so upset that he cant be honest with me and at the same time I just want to know the truth. If you knew someone cared for you that much, wouldnt you even give em that respect to just be upfront and not play games.

I'm so angry.....i want him to hurt like hes hurting me!!! I hate to think that way.

 

I WON'T CALL HIM....I CAN'T...HE DOESNT DESERVE IT!!

 

This is starting Day 1 again...

[jennamajig]

Day 37?

 

I've made it past the thirty days (which is a feat in itself!), but find myself a little more blue lately. It could be the holidays - well, I hope it is that. Christmas wasn't bad, NC on both ends, but lately, times and ways I used to be able push him out of my head are not working! I had a shouting match with my folks about it...and I have never really talked about my feelings or the breakup in detail with my dad.

 

It is one day at a time during the holidays. One day at a time during a break-up with someone you love, especially if you are a dumpee. It takes time to learn to let the love you feel fade, takes even more time to learn how to let it go. And letting it go is a different process for each one of us - and is easier for some, harder for others. Lately, I trying to figure out the way I can finally let go and how *I* can do it. NC is a big part of it, but it takes more than NC to move on.

 

to all starting again today. The new year is just around the corner and it can be a fresh start for each one of us.

[crab62]

hi there!! yeah for day 37!! I'm on day 31, ugggh. I'm feeling a little blue today too. Well it doesn't help that when I get on the train, my friend says to me "you sounded sad this morning on the phone. I thought uh-oh... you must have called Michael". I said to my friend "why would you think I would call him!!, and why would you bring that up?!!", ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! It's hard enough getting over your exbf, it's even harder when your friends like the drama, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! My friend needs a life!

 

okay, i'm digressing. i'm going spinning tonight. made plans for tomorrow night (new years eve), but now I'm thinking i dont want to go, ugggh.

[zrehman]

hi there!! yeah for day 37!! I'm on day 31, ugggh. I'm feeling a little blue today too. Well it doesn't help that when I get on the train, my friend says to me "you sounded sad this morning on the phone. I thought uh-oh... you must have called Michael". I said to my friend "why would you think I would call him!!, and why would you bring that up?!!", ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! It's hard enough getting over your exbf, it's even harder when your friends like the drama, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! My friend needs a life!

 

okay, i'm digressing. i'm going spinning tonight. made plans for tomorrow night (new years eve), but now I'm thinking i dont want to go, ugggh.

 

It's great your at 31!! I am only on Day 2 and I'm dying to hear my ex's voice. I wanna call and beg her to be with me! But I can't let her have that satisfaction and control anymore. I know the more she knows of how sad I am ... That it will give her the strenght she needs to not contact me. I can't be waiting for her anymore. I am so heart broken!

 

Question: has your ex tried to contact you?

[jennamajig]

hi there!! yeah for day 37!! I'm on day 31, ugggh. I'm feeling a little blue today too. Well it doesn't help that when I get on the train, my friend says to me "you sounded sad this morning on the phone. I thought uh-oh... you must have called Michael". I said to my friend "why would you think I would call him!!, and why would you bring that up?!!", ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! It's hard enough getting over your exbf, it's even harder when your friends like the drama, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! My friend needs a life!

 

okay, i'm digressing. i'm going spinning tonight. made plans for tomorrow night (new years eve), but now I'm thinking i dont want to go, ugggh.

 

Your friend does need a life, lol! She can watch a daytime soap if she wants drama My friends don't ask, thank goodness. Most of my pain lately is probably self-inflicted if I take a good deep look inside myself.

 

I'm home with family. No New Year's Eve plans, but I figure I will stay at my folks' place and rent a funny movie, drink a glass of wine. I toyed with the idea of writing one last letter to my ex - by hand - and taking it outside at midnight and burning it. Letting the flames be my way of telling myself that 2009 no longer involves him or any thought of him.

 

My godmother is coming by on New Year's day to take me to lunch, so I am looking forward to that.

[zrehman]

If she is getting all dressed up then make sure you look good too! Don't show her she's in your head even though she is. You can enjoy life without her. DOn't make her a priority anymore. Your exams are your priority and I wish you luck with them!

 

I know exactly what you are saying above! Up to the point I fell asleep I kept expecting him to call and to just have a heart. And now I am upset...upset because there must be something more to it than just the parents...there has to be otherwise he wouldnt quit talking just like that.

Today I'm angry...i'm hurting...and i don't want to cry at work....i'm so upset that he cant be honest with me and at the same time I just want to know the truth. If you knew someone cared for you that much, wouldnt you even give em that respect to just be upfront and not play games.

I'm so angry.....i want him to hurt like hes hurting me!!! I hate to think that way.

 

Your thinking the right way doll. If he "really" cared for you, then you wouldn't be hurting like this. Let this NC open your eyes and show you his true colors. Don't be blinded by love!

 

I'm starting to look at all I did for my ex and if she doesn't want that them there is nothing I can do. I'm starting to realize that if she really cared and loved me then I wouldn't be in this pain especially after I even told her that I can't eat or sleep!! How rude?! She isn't gonna be forced to stay with me, but when she finds someone else, I hope then she realzes my worth and hopefully I can move on from the situation.

 

Be strong and never surrender! Don't let your ex get satisfaction from your sadness!

 

I WON'T CALL HIM....I CAN'T...HE DOESNT DESERVE IT!!

 

This is starting Day 1 again...

[crab62]

Question: has your ex tried to contact you?

 

nope... oh wait, yes he did... after I called on Thanksgiving (his birthday) to wish him a happy birthday and I was crying... thinking he'd call me back...

 

he sent me an email and said so nicely... PLEASE STOP CALLING!](*,)](*,)

 

so I guess he did contact me, LOL!! That's when I started pure NC... but no, I have not heard from him since that email and I have not attempted to contact him... no way, now how, I'm done. Hurts like heck somedays, but if he can walk out like that after 1yr with me and have no desire to contact me, then good riddens... I'm glad to be where I'm at.

[Anusha]

Well the last time I contacted my ex and he answered was last monday so according to that Im on 8 day of NC now but Saturday and Sunday I texted him but got no answer.Even if your ex doesnt answer that counts as break NC? Anyway if does Im day 2 of NC then

[Seymore]

I figured I’d post this here since it doesn’t belong in breaking up anymore.

 

Previous thread for background reference:

 

 

In a nutshell, I got sick of the controlling, manipulating, anger problems, negativity and attitude, and to a lesser extent teasing with sex. I left her on Xmas eve after she showed me the door, and she’s been begging for me back every day since...sometimes nice, sometimes nasty. She even e-mailed my mom a winded letter about how she just wants me back.

 

She left me a letter on Saturday morning after she got her stuff out, it said among other things that she was going to respect my wishes and stop contacting me.

 

Last night she called me (literally, according to my call log) 114 times and texted saying she wouldn’t give up, said nasty things and called me names when I wouldn’t respond, etc., and this is after I requested NC twice. I told her I was blocking her number (ATT won’t let me though, unless I pay $4.99 a month, so I’m just ignoring her).

 

Early this morning she sent a long e-mail to me saying she’s only acting crazy because she’s crazy about me and she’s hurting. She takes responsibility for what she’s done to me and wants to give me the love I deserve, without anger or attitude. Then she says this will be her final contact, saying she is going to spend the next couple of weeks working on herself and getting help and she won’t contact me before then.

 

Then, this afternoon she had a box of cookies to my work with a note saying “Please forgive me” with a bible passage reference. She's done this before when she went off on me for trying to help her - she sent the same exact note with a bunch of flowers, so while it's nice, I literally have heard it before.

 

Do I be polite and thank her for the cookies or keep ignoring her? If I respond then that opens the floodgates again, I'm thinking...but I want to be nice, all the same.

[kiwi24]

i'd ignore her. I think she's at this point trying to get any sort of reaction out of you...

[HNR]

Well the last time I contacted my ex and he answered was last monday so according to that Im on 8 day of NC now but Saturday and Sunday I texted him but got no answer.Even if your ex doesnt answer that counts as break NC? Anyway if does Im day 2 of NC then

 

Yes, if you've attempted to contact him by phone, text, email, letter etc even if he doesn't respond you have technically broken NC....

[Hurting5050]

Okay, I have done completely the opposite of everything that I should have been doing. I have been completely pathetic -- emailing and texting him -- I even broke down and called him tonight to wish him a happy new year (since he will be out with his new love tomorrow night) -- I rationalized it by saying that's what a "friend" would do. But, of course, he hasn't called back.

 

I can't hurt any more than I do right now. So, I am going to start the new year off clean -- as of right now I am officially on the NC bandwagon!

[Anusha]

Ok Im on day 2 of NC then.But there are somethings about NC that bothers me a little.For example why we cant wish each other happy new year? I mean Im not planning to do that but is just seems so weird to not do that.That is what you usually do to people you love and care this time of the year and ok he isnt my bf anymore but the fellings are still there.Plus what if there is my or his birthday coming? It wouldnt seem unpolite to not wish the other happy birthday? I dont know but is just something I fell should be done to somebody you spent so many years with.What you think about it?

[crab62]

Ok Im on day 2 of NC then.But there are somethings about NC that bothers me a little.For example why we cant wish each other happy new year? I mean Im not planning to do that but is just seems so weird to not do that.That is what you usually do to people you love and care this time of the year and ok he isnt my bf anymore but the fellings are still there.Plus what if there is my or his birthday coming? It wouldnt seem unpolite to not wish the other happy birthday? I dont know but is just something I fell should be done to somebody you spent so many years with.What you think about it?

 

cause any kind of communication keeps you hooked to your ex... and if you really want to get over him, you need to "unhook". You can put as many excuses on it as you want about it being "nice" and "the right thing to do", but really what it is doing is allowing you to stay attached. True NC is for peeps who really want to unattach from their ex and move on.

[crab62]

I'm on day 32 NC... do I still get to post (I love this icon, he is by far my favorite icon

[SighSob]

she called and i didn't answer....AAAAAAH THAT FELT GOOD.

[zrehman]

she called and i didn't answer....AAAAAAH THAT FELT GOOD.

 

How many days has it been for NC since she called?

 

Did she leave a voicemail? Did she text?

 

Any details sir?

[zrehman]

Hey buddy ... I think NC is still the right thing to do. I mean, you already said that she has done this stuff before ... so she is used to this cycle of trying to get you back into her grips. If she really loves you, you will know, and since you are having doubts about contacting her ... I don't think you should ... let her work on it some more. Just remember the pain she has caused you ... don't allow yourself to get sucked into it and than start again on DAY 1! Be strong! Your doing great!

 

Also, how long has it been since NC since she called?

[zrehman]

DAY 3

 

I feel a bit better today and last night because I talked to my best friend on ENA: helloladies21 .. and he made me see things differently. I started breaking down last night and I started thinking of all the lovey dovey things about my ex even the sex (which was amazing ahaha) ... it started to make me sad and I wanted to call her so freaking bad and change my mind and be like, "Can I please see you 1 last time, I'm going crazy" - Something pathetic like that and I'm sure I probably would have either not gotten a response or a response which would make me feel like s***!

 

So my best friend, helloladies21, talked to me and guided me and made me think about all the negative things she had done to me. He made me write a list of all the things she has done, but I obviously couldn't think of everything, but the list was long about 11 things that I could think of from the top of my head. That made me feel better and more angry towards her for doing all those things to me ... which helped me not wanting to even contact her.

 

Last night, I also thought about what she is doing. She wants to focus on her career and get her life started in that aspect. I thought about it and realized that has to be such a selfish thing she is doing to me. I don't know why she can't be with me and focus on her life ... I would be a backbone for her and would motivate her and do whatever I could to help her reach her goals. When I was in medical school, I was passing all my classes and handling mine and her problems ... and not once did I say "I need to focus on school" and even if I did ... it would have been a logical reason, but I never did! She actually had the nerve to tell me, "I need to focus on school and maybe we should just be friends" ... she was taking 2 undergrad classes.

 

I guess I'm starting to see that she was selfish and manipulative ... maybe not intentionally cause she does have a good heart, but she always put herself first and I feel like she put me on the back burner expecting me to be fine with whatever she wanted.

 

I hope the more NC days that go by, the more I will start to realize the "truth" about my relationship and not what I was blinded by - love.

[SighSob]

It's Day3. I told her clearly "Get out of my life forever" and "I will call you if I feel like doing it" and "I wasn't kidding about the get out of my life forever" and "maybe one day I'll talk to you again...maybe", so I wonder if she is stupid enough to call me just to wish me a happy new year's eve? Still, she hasn't texted me so I guess it was nothing important. I hope she has a horrible new year's eve.