Relationship advice

[Ajay kumar meena538]

Hello guys,

I am starting a girl for last 10 yr.she is too supportive.she cares me a lot,she always helps me whether it is financial,mental,physical etc.

In last 1 yr she has helped me financially more the 30 times.

Whenever I tell him any problem ,she alwYs says do not worry,I will solve it.

Now she got admission in medical college,and I am now afraid to loose her,I am afraid that whom she will meet,where she will go etc,etc.

She is very royal ,she alwYs tells me all the things.

She always says if u r afraid,the marry with me after that u would not be much tensed.

What to do please tell me.

 

[reinventmyself]

Sounds a little like a parent/child relationship.  She supports you financially, solves your problems and you feel insecure when she has an opportunity to better herself.  It seems you are afraid she will find someone better.

This sounds like a calling for you to step back and reevaluate yourself.   What do you bring to the table and what do you have to offer a relationship?  

Do you have friends, hobbies or ambitions?  What is your life plan and are you able to stand on your two feet without her.  Because being so dependent on someone at some point can become unattractive.

[Rose Mosse]

Do you see yourself being a bit more financially stable or stable in general? This is less to do with her and more to do with you. Do what you can to achieve your own goals and get back on your feet. If she chooses to be with you after that it is her choice. 

You can't force anyone to stay with you or like you/feel the same way. I'd suggest letting go a little and don't be so anxious about losing her. She must pursue her calling so be supportive of it. That's what love is, even if it doesn't benefit you or you lose someone. You still let go so that the other person can pursue what makes them happy so let go of all these fears. 

[Ajay kumar meena538]

21 minutes ago, reinventmyself said:

Sounds a little like a parent/child relationship.  She supports you financially, solves your problems and you feel insecure when she has an opportunity to better herself.  It seems you are afraid she will find someone better.

This sounds like a calling for you to step back and reevaluate yourself.   What do you bring to the table and what do you have to offer a relationship?  

Do you have friends, hobbies or ambitions?  What is your life plan and are you able to stand on your two feet without her.  Because being so dependent on someone at some point can become unattractive.

I am good in my academic.i have completed my graduation from top engineering college of india,I got job as s/w engineer but left to prepare for other exam.yes I have friend .

I am preparing for ias(most reputed exam of india).

[Ajay kumar meena538]

34 minutes ago, Ajay kumar meena538 said:

Hello guys,

I am starting a girl for last 10 yr.she is too supportive.she cares me a lot,she always helps me whether it is financial,mental,physical etc.

In last 1 yr she has helped me financially more the 30 times.

Whenever I tell him any problem ,she alwYs says do not worry,I will solve it.

Now she got admission in medical college,and I am now afraid to loose her,I am afraid that whom she will meet,where she will go etc,etc.

She is very royal ,she alwYs tells me all the things.

She always says if u r afraid,the marry with me after that u would not be much tensed.

I got jobs from some reputed coaching to teach maths ,as well as job of s/w engineer.

But i left bcz she want to see me at a particular post(most related in india).

What to do please tell me.

 

[Wise Wally]

Be careful with this one.  It always starts off as helping you and solving your problems.  However, before too long, you're wearing a dog collar and a ball-gag.  

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Ajay kumar meena538 said:

she always helps me whether it is financial,mental,physical etc. In last 1 yr she has helped me financially more the 30 times.

Get to a physician for help with your mental and physical health. That is your responsibility.

Get a job and stop asking for money and sponging off people. It's your responsibility to support yourself s financially.

[Kwothe28]

By username and mentioning it, I will assume its India related. Given your customs as well as her mentioning marriage, I dont think you have too much to be afraid that she would just leave you. However having her to have to bail you over 30 times in a year is quite embarassing. Whatever she becomes, you need to be financially independent. To me it sounds that she wants that marriage and that her helping is a sign of that. But again, you cant allow that. Marry her if you want that, but be your own man.

[SooSad33]

2 hours ago, Ajay kumar meena538 said:

Now she got admission in medical college,and I am now afraid to loose her,I am afraid that whom she will meet,where she will go etc,etc.

You have been dating 10 years?

If you feel okay with all of this with her, why do you fear anything?

It is just school.  Yes, she will meet other people, she's allowed to interact with others.

Maybe the question here is YOU.  you need to tend to your insecurities and respect the fact that she is continuing her interests and studies.

[smackie9]

Ask her to marry you.

[abitbroken]

The simplest way for her to stop financially helping you is for you to say no to the money. Don't accept it. Simple.

I think this is not a supportive relationship - its a codependent one. She is making it so that you can't live or do adult things without her doing them.  That's why you are worried about losing her.  If this relationship was healthy, you would not be afraid of her going to school.  You would be the supportive one - being flexible about when the two of you saw eachother, etc, around her demanding schedule.

 

[catfeeder]

You've been together 10 years, and you're worried about her now?

What's stopping you from marriage?