A new chapter

[Jibralta]

12 hours ago, dias said:

Women is my thing😎

Hey, whatever *floats your boat* 😂😂😂

12 hours ago, dias said:

In both cases you need to ensure a smooth flow in the pipes.

Well, for pumps you need motors (or engines).

Oh... I get it lol.

[dias]

5 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Hey, whatever *floats your boat* 😂😂😂

Well, for pumps you need motors (or engines).

Oh... I get it lol.

Hahahahaha 🙃

[dias]

I am steadily heading to the point of burnout already. The next 2 years (actually 10) are daunting. I have to exceed my limits. I have done it before but it's always very difficult to push past your limits. 

[Jibralta]

3 hours ago, dias said:

I am steadily heading to the point of burnout already.

Why?

[dias]

23 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Why?

We are a team of 4 but the workload is for a team of 8. Fortunately they will hire one more engineer next month (female yay!). 

It's hectic but it's interesting, I am learning new stuff at a rapid pace and it's very demanding. The 9 to 5 is more like 8 to 7 and I have to work on the weekends because there are many things I don't know. 

The next 2 years will be definitely hectic because we will need to migrate everything to the cloud. Right now I am learning technologies that will become obsolete in 6 months. And then I will have to learn the cloud technologies. Yeah, a lot of work. 

But things go as I want. There are many things to learn and everyone seems to be very knowledgeable. The team leader is definitely one of the most competent engineers I've seen. He drags me to every call with the clients which is cool but I also need to get the job done and 8 hours are not enough since I am learning at the same time. 

The team leader is very busy, the other guy is a bit abrupt but thankfully the 3rd team member who is a girl is very helpful. I pick her brain, she knows a lot of stuff and she is very helpful. Plus I know how to talk to women when I need something lol In women we trust lol. 

It's the perfect opportunity to up my game and skill up. 3-4 years here and  I will be able to chase 120K+ jobs*. Although the plan is to start something on the side with this knowledge. More money won't make any difference to me anymore. 

 

*I know in the US the salaries are way higher in the tech industry and 100K+ is nothing extraordinary but in the UK 100K+ (pounds) is not easy to get at all, there are not many jobs which pay this high. Less opportunities = more competition. 

 

[dias]

Why do people say you shouldn't date someone from your work? It does not make any sense to me, what is the problem? I also struggle to see the connection between dating someone from your work and the phrase don't poop where you eat. 

What is the worst that can happen? Face some awkwardness if things don't go well? This is the main concern people have? They can't handle awkwardness? lol

If you are not a famous politician or something like this where image is important to the stupid average Joes who vote for you, then I can't fathom what the issue is. 

 

[Jibralta]

1 hour ago, dias said:

What is the worst that can happen? Face some awkwardness if things don't go well? This is the main concern people have? They can't handle awkwardness? lol

I don't really care what people do, as long as it doesn't affect me. But I worked with two people who were 'secretly' dating each other, and they were so freaking annoying with all of their stupid drama. One of them ended up getting laid off, which was a nice way of saying she was fired for being ridiculous all the time. They ended up getting married. But they were really annoying.

I've dated at work myself, mostly when I was in my early 20s. It can get very inconvenient. I would definitely give it some careful thought before doing it again.

 

[dias]

3 hours ago, Jibralta said:

and they were so freaking annoying with all of their stupid drama.

It can get very inconvenient.

What drama did they cause that affected everyone else in the office? Became the spectacle in the office? Lol they provided entertainment? Haha

Inconvenient how?

[Jibralta]

I already said it: they were annoying. It was like not being able to turn off the TV. Nobody was interested in their squabbles. The guy used to huff around and slam his stuff on his desk when he got upset. We were all there trying to get our jobs done, and basically couldn't because these two people were fixated on themselves instead of doing their work.

[dias]

45 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I definitely don't want to cut them off. I love those asshles. They're my asshles.

❤️

45 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I do think my mom is mentally ill to some degree. When I read about Borderline Personality Disorder, it reminds me of her a lot.

Hahahahahahahahaha it's so funny when I read this kind of stuff as a Greek. The whole nation has this disorder, we just call it craziness lol. No need for fancy terminology lol

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/overview/#overview

"Borderline personalr (BPity disordeD) is a disorder of mood and how a person interacts with others. It's the most commonly recognised personality disorder.

In general, someone with a personality disorder will differ significantly from an average person in terms of how he or she thinks, perceives, feels or relates to others.

The symptoms of BPD can be grouped into 4 main areas:

-emotional instability – the psychological term for this is affective dysregulation

-disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – cognitive distortions or perceptual distortions

-impulsive behaviour

-intense but unstable relationships with others"

Hahahahahaha replace the symptoms with a Greek, it's the same thing. 

emotional instability: This is the very definition of being Greek LOL

disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – cognitive distortions or perceptual distortions: I am not sure about this part, I have to analyze it more

impulsive behaviour: That's a given, you are not Greek otherwise

intense but unstable relationships with others: We certainly don't lack intensity or instability. 

I tick 3 out of 4 and I am the most sane Greek I know hahahahahahaha. It's so freaking funny. Sorry, inside joke.

 

 

 

 

[Jibralta]

3 hours ago, dias said:

The whole nation has this disorder, we just call it craziness lol.

It's not surprising, considering that my grandmother, my mom, and my sister all have this personality. When my grandmother's sisters were still alive (my theetsas), holidays were crazy with them all yelling at each other.

My mom's friend Joe, who grew up in the same church as her, had a crazy family, too. His mom was just like my mom's mom, but she tore her hair out instead of banging her head against the wall. Joe says all Greeks are crazy. But interestingly, Joe is a very mellow guy. And so was his father.

Most of the Greek men in my family are mellow, too. Only the women in my family got the crazy gene. But I have seen crazy Greek men, so I know they're out there. 

[hidden_kitten]

On 6/20/2021 at 10:25 AM, dias said:

Why do people say you shouldn't date someone from your work? It does not make any sense to me, what is the problem? I also struggle to see the connection between dating someone from your work and the phrase don't poop where you eat.

I hate that phrase and really don’t want to know how it got attributed to dating/sex/work haha!

You seem to be able to easily compartmentalise different areas of your life, which is why you would find dating a colleague not a big deal, but I think for a lot of others drama tends to overspill and creep into the workplace in that situation.

My first experience was with a long term boyfriend who got me my first full time job after uni. It was in a different department but small open plan office so it was like we were in each other’s pockets all the time. Also, I wanted to chat/vent about the work day afterwards (it was my first proper job after all) but he just wanted to switch off completely so that grated for a while.

A couple of years later when I was single at a new job (retail, part time) and was asked out by someone who I had a crush on for ages. Of course I couldn’t say no. We were totally incompatible and somehow dated for three years and had a horrible break up. Thankfully we had both left that store before breaking up but I found it really awkward moving back home and running into old colleagues having to explain what happened. 
 

So now I would definitely not date someone from work. Same industry maybe.

[dias]

 

3 hours ago, hidden_kitten said:

You seem to be able to easily compartmentalise different areas of your life,

Nope, not easy, I can do it because I've been practicing self-discipline religiously for years. 

3 hours ago, hidden_kitten said:

but I found it really awkward moving back home and running into old colleagues having to explain what happened. 

But at the end of the day, the story would be the same in both cases whether you met these guys at work or anywhere else. The only difference is the awkward part. Is this awkward part that daunting? So, a bit of awkwardness (and drama for the immature people) would stop you from dating someone you like? And if one of those relationships did work, would you have regretted it? 

Dunno, to each his own, personally I don't consider it a deterrent. If the consequences were jail time, I might gave it a bit of thought beforehand, not much though lol. 

 

When the girl I really liked became my team leader when I worked in Liverpool, she gave me a hard time. Until then everyone who had reviewed my work said it was excellent, she found 1 million issues lol. She was pedantic as f*ck lol.

The first time she reviewed my work and gave me a big list of issues, I admit, it stung big time. I don't mind getting feedback when I make mistakes, in fact, I seek for it because I want to improve but it stung because it was her. I didn't like it and it annoyed me for a few minutes because she was being fastidious.  Nonetheless, I thought about it. In theory, yes there were some minor imperfections in my work so yes I could improve (albeit it was useless in that case). I did improve and became more pedantic myself (which I hate lol). One time, I found a mistake in her work, that was fun  hahahaha. Although I became more pedantic, she kept finding mistakes in my work until the last day lol 

I would still marry her 🙃

 

 

 

[hidden_kitten]

1 hour ago, dias said:

 

Nope, not easy, I can do it because I've been practicing self-discipline religiously for years. But at the end of the day, the story would be the same in both cases whether you met these guys at work or anywhere else. The only difference is the awkward part. Is this awkward part that daunting? So, a bit of awkwardness (and drama for the immature people) would stop you from dating someone you like? 

I guess, for me, I just want to concentrate on my job and doing that well and not have other distractions at the time. Yes I’ve had to explain to colleagues, volunteers at current job that I’m now single since they last saw me, but at least there’s some distance between everyone and they’re not all up in my business as they might have been if my ex had worked at the same place. Or perhaps I just know really immature types!

[dias]

The team leader is surprised how fast I learn and adapt lol. What he doesn't know is the amount of extra hours I put. 

I am getting a grasp on the situation, I am so happy, everything goes according to plan. 

If everything goes according to plan, then I will be able to start a business on the side the next few years. 

All I ever wanted was to create a big and successful company. For the first time things are falling into place........I want to cry from happiness........

[boltnrun]

A man at work was dating a woman at work and someone told him she had cheated on him. So he walked off the job in the middle of shift (he was an assistant manager who was running the shift that night) and went home and called his sister and told her he was going to kill himself. She was concerned and called 911 (she lived several states away so she couldn't go to him immediately) and he was picked up and placed on a 72 hour hold. We all knew about it because gossip. So that is an extreme example of workplace dating going very, very bad.

Another couple got written up because they just could not stop pawing at each other on the production floor. It was cringey.  Not shockingly, the young woman became pregnant soon afterward.

A third couple was actually engaging in an affair. They both got fired for making out inside a freight trailer during work hours. Also both assistant managers.

I have many more horror stories! I presume there are some nice stories out there too, though.

[boltnrun]

I'm happy for you that the job is going well.

[dias]

On 6/23/2021 at 6:31 PM, boltnrun said:

I'm happy for you that the job is going well.

Thanks bolt 🙂

Everything is going well. The only drawback is that I can't sleep because I am thinking about work. It is very difficult to unplug. When you spend 11+every day writing code, debugging and studying, it's difficult to turn your brain off. 

My obsessive personality is a double edge sword.

At least I received my first paycheck and I can say it is worth it. Everything has a price.

[dias]

Oh boy, bugs in production. Nothing works correctly. Clients are complaining. I didn't make any mistake in the code but the solution I delivered does not provide the results we want. I am spending the weekend trying to find another solution. I tested the code in the dev environment and it worked fine but as always the real test is in production. Like the vaccines in a way lol. 

Hmm, let's see whether they fire people easily.

[Jibralta]

I hope not!!!

[dias]

I am testing a new solution now, it seems to be working locally... Tomorrow the team leader will review the code and we will deploy the changes in production. It's only in production that you face unexpected bugs unfortunately. Actually there was no bug, it was a sub-case in a response we receive from a third party supplier I didn't take into consideration. Never thought about it because I never faced this issue before. Now I know. 

I was responsible for this piece of code, my oversight, if they fire me now or in the future for a mistake I made I won't complain. 

[dias]

3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

 He wanted a woman who would be dependent on him, the type who would call him all distressed when she got a flat tire or the bathtub wouldn't drain. He thrived on being the "strong" man. He wanted to be viewed as decisive and a "savior".  I was not that woman.

People are so different. I know there are plenty of guys who have the savior complex. I do understand it to some extent, kind of it's ingrained in the males to "protect" females or something of that sort but many men really overdo it. And I don't believe it's because they like women so much....

I don't have the savior complex at all, I am the opposite in fact. Where many guys would go to extremes to help the damsel in distress I would be like "the damsel in distress needs to get her sh*t together". 

Maybe on the surface I cut women some slack but it's only on the surface. I don't discriminate, if I have my sh*t together, I expect the same from other people regardless of gender. I guess I don't have a nurturing character.

Although I always help people who help themselves. I like helping people get better. I like ambition. 

Never ceases to amaze me how different people are. 

 

[boltnrun]

29 minutes ago, dias said:

People are so different. I know there are plenty of guys who have the savior complex. I do understand it to some extent, kind of it's ingrained in the males to "protect" females or something of that sort but many men really overdo it. And I don't believe it's because they like women so much....

I don't have the savior complex at all, I am the opposite in fact. Where many guys would go to extremes to help the damsel in distress I would be like "the damsel in distress needs to get her sh*t together". 

Maybe on the surface I cut women some slack but it's only on the surface. I don't discriminate, if I have my sh*t together, I expect the same from other people regardless of gender. I guess I don't have a nurturing character.

Although I always help people who help themselves. I like helping people get better. I like ambition. 

Never ceases to amaze me how different people are. 

 

He actually told me he was turned off by my independence. For example, my car needed a new battery so I bought one and installed it myself. Apparently that is not sexy. However, I was telling my brother about a woman friend of mine who changed out the alternator on her car and he asked "so, what's her number?" HE found that sexy.

Yep, people are different!

[dias]

 

[dias]

No firing was required, not this time at least lol. The new solution worked splendidly. 

I have to cut down on working long hours, it is ok to be borderline burned out but I don't want to exceed the limits, not right now, it's not the correct moment. 

I am pondering about life...My parents insisted so much in education and getting a degree so that I can make some decent money like my father (and probably have a family..?). That was their "dream" for me and my brother. Now I make virtually what both my parents make. The last thing that helped me in this journey was education. 

It was almost 4 years ago when I quit my job in Athens. It was in a big software house, it was my first job, I think I started my previous journal on ENA when I started that job. Many people stayed there for many years because it's a big company and therefore offers stability. When I told my parents I would quit my job they got panicked. Quitting your first job which you needed six months of searching to find it...it was something which they couldn't comprehend and never thought of doing it themselves. They thought I was living in my own fantasy world. Few months before I quit, I went to the manager and asked him if I could get a six month break to travel the world (yes I actually said these exact words lol), he laughed and told me they could only give me three months. I declined. A couple of months later, we met in the kitchen and he asked me jokingly "you are still here? I thought you were traveling the world". I quit a month later and bought the ticket to LA. He looked surprised when I announced I am leaving for real, he thought I must be crazy lol He jokingly said "so we were your part-time job for fun when you are not traveling". Pretty accurate now that I think about it lol

Looking back, I don't get why my family got so panicked. Like what was the worst that could happen? Not being able to find a job in IT? Big deal. Like all these years I made money..... And now this job was not because I was in IT, it was because I kept searching and searching for years. Anything I achieved so far was because of my boldness, persistence, discipline, creativity, imagination and my sense of adventure. Certainly not because of the degrees which nobody ever cared about. 

I stopped blaming my parents for my dissatisfaction in life from that point. I should have followed my intuition way earlier. It is extremely difficult though to break the mold when this is what all you ever known. What I realized later is that you can't blame people because they can't see further than their nose. 

The other day, my mother read some of the stuff colleagues from my previous job wrote to me when I left. She told me "strangers in a foreign country know you better than I know you that I gave birth to you and raised you". I didn't tell her but I thought "this is because in your wildest dreams you are still dreaming an average life". People can't imagine someone who know and see every day can be so much more competent than them, even their own kids. Human nature.

I am crazy and a dreamer and I am living in my own world, yes. Still, it works somehow.