Have I messed things up?

[LL4576]

2 weeks ago I met a guy (J) & we've met up at his house twice. I stayed over both times but not had sex as I said I wanted to wait to get to know him better which he said he respected. He seems to really like me. We text each other all day every day.

On Thursday I went to his house because he said he was off to Scotland for 2 weeks for work & really wanted to see me before he went.

However tonight I went to drop some books round to a friend who lives near him (I sell Usborne books) & his house is on the corner of her road so I have to drive past it. I noticed all the lights were on & the windows were open, & I suddenly panicked & thought he had been lying to me.

I got out & knocked on the door. A man's voice started shouting aggressively asking who was there. It scared me so I stepped back from the door & kept quiet. I knocked again & the voice started aggressively shouting again out of the side window to 'show myself'. I went to the window & a guy I had never seen before was there.

I asked who he was & he got really nasty. He asked who I was & I said I was looking for J. He started laughing & said in a nasty & ridiculing tone 'are you stalking him?' I said I wasn't stalking him, I was driving by & noticed the lights were on but he said he was in Scotland. He said he was J's brother, he lives there (as far as I'm aware he doesn't) & then slammed the window.

I assumed J's brother would ring or text him to tell him, & that he would know it was me if his brother described me so I text him & said I had been dropping books off to my friend, noticed the lights were on & thought he was home so knocked on the door. I then said I was really sorry if I had caused an issue.

He hasn't read the message yet but I'm so worried I've ruined this potential relationship. We get on so well & he said yesterday he can't wait to see me when he's back but now he's going to think I'm a stalker.

What would you guys think if you were him? I can't believe I've probably messed this up.

[Batya33]

I’m not at all a fan of unannounced guests or of someone testing me to see if I was being truthful.  I went on a second date with someone who told me he’d seen me dancing with another guy and was so upset he went out and got drunk.  I knew then it was never going to work (ironically I’d been dancing with the guy - a platonic friend I’d dated in the past  - to help him make his ex jealous lol). Once I knew he had that type of reaction I was done.  Acting as you did is not a good look.  I’m glad you texted him and hopefully he’ll call you when he’s back from Scotland.  I’m sorry you were upset. 

[SooSad33]

You dropped by... but he is away.

I wouldnt worry too much of what his brother has to say.. since you two do know each other.  I can't see this ruining things.

Just wait to hear back.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, LL4576 said:

 I stayed over both times but not had sex .

We text each other all day every day.

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately it's way too much way too soon. 

Do not have sexless sleepovers. It's nonsense. Why sleep there? Go home.

During a pandemic it's ok to have an in-house date, but then drive yourself home.

Having a pajama party is not accomplishing anything.

Also oversaturation with "texting all day every day", is way too much too soon.

[kim42]

Just wait for him to text you back, for me it would be too much too soon, you've seen him only twice, sorry you were scared. 

[catfeeder]

I wouldn't view it as a big deal. The brother's attitude about being disturbed by an unexpected door knock is no reflection on your date's attitude toward you.

[Rose Mosse]

Did you ever hear back from him? 

I don't think you've ruined anything. His brother is an ogre so maybe have a rethink about his family. 

 

[smackie9]

Just tell him that you thought maybe someone had broken in, and went to investigate. No big deal.

[kim42]

Did you hear from him?