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I left my husband and I'm a mess, but I finally left. I'm only taking comfort in that it was the right thing to do, or else I would struggle and wonder the rest of my life. But I'm not doing well at all. I started therapy, I have a doctor's appointment as well to get back on medication, but I'm terrified and crying on and off and so unsure if things will get better for me. I'll have to post more in detail later but I'm struggling so much I wanted to post at least something.

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I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I completely empathize. I got divorced many years ago, and even though I KNEW it was the right thing to do, it still really hurt a lot. If you know in your heart of hearts and in your gut that it was the right thing to do- then it WAS. I can only tell you from my experience that it DOES get better and easier with time. In retrospect, I wish I had done it sooner. Years later, I am now married to the love of my life and happier than ever before.

Looking back, I can't believe that in my previous marriage I settled that much or thought I didn't deserve better.


I don't know you, but I am PROUD of you! It is so hard to walk away from something that is comfortable, even if we know we aren't happy. I am so glad you started therapy, that is an important support to have at this sensitive time.

Crying during this time is normal. It still hurts to leave a marriage, even when we are confident that it is for the best.


I'm glad you're here on this board. It's a GREAT support to have. We are always here whenever you are ready. In the meantime, please take good care of yourself. Treat yourself. Do things that make you happy. You are free to do whatever you want.


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I read your other posts.


Did you move in with your parents?


You have mental health issues and so does your husband so separating so you can focus on your health is a good idea. Trying to solve all your marriage problems AND your health issues and his all at the same time would overwhelm anyone.


You well being comes first. I see you went off your meds a couple of months ago. Were you able to see your doctor and get back on the same one since you will not be trying to get pregnant now?


I know it seems like there is this huge mountain looming over you and you think you can never ever get to the top but you can. One step at a time, one breath at a time and you can can get there. No time limit and if you slip and slide down a little it is no problem because you have already climbed that route before so you know how to traverse it faster the second time.


This isn't a race so pace yourself and get the tools you need to get the job done. Back on your meds, keep posting and let your family in. Just spending time around others that love you and in a calm environment can do wonders.



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Wow, good for you!!


Not surprising that you are feeling so broken down--this was a tough decision, a very difficult move. It's going to continue to feel difficult for a while. But I think you did the right thing.


Surround yourself with loved ones who are sympathetic to you, who don't get angry with you at the drop of a hat.


You need all the support you can get.

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You're in shock. It'll take you weeks and weeks to regain your footing and start finding a new routine. All those prior learned habits/routines have stopped. Give yourself time to cry and feel sad and don't pretend that you're ok when you aren't. Not everyone will understand your decision or what happened between the both of you. If you're with family they may not understand either and some people may have very harsh judgments towards you or your decisions. I think it's trickier moving in with family during separation and divorce and a double-edged sword. I had to make that decision whether to do so or not to in mine. Even though your emotions are all over the place, try and regain your footing and regain some sense of normalcy as quickly as possible. If you support yourself, continue supporting yourself.


Work with your therapist and stick to whatever advice he/she is giving or the support and techniques you're given. Pass on feedback to your therapist about what isn't working as well or what you think might be helpful and work together.

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