Victim pending

[Wiseman2]

Ok. That's a stretch. He may have been immature or blew off your texts or spent time with his friends sometimes rather than you, but that just makes him a jerk. You broke up, you're rid of him, let it rest.

 

Keep in mind, she'll show it to him and all her people and they'll shake their heads and say "no wonder he broke up with her, what a psycho" and have a good laugh at your expense.

 

In fact, contacting her is abusive on your part. He's leaving you alone, you're the one stalking.

If you look at signs of an abusive relationship one of them is discluding their partners from social activities and withholding communication.

[boltnrun]

I think the timing is interesting. You only decided he was "abusive" after you found out he's dating someone else. Up to that point you were fine with staying Facebook friends with him, but the new girlfriend shows up and bingo! He's abusive! And HE blocked YOU, not the other way around.

 

I think you're upset, maybe a bit jealous, feel discarded and replaced, etc. But that doesn't make him an abuser.

 

One of my friends is doing something similar. Her husband had one affair after another. She finally divorced him after putting up with his cheating for years. After the divorce she decided he was "abusive" and is posting memes about being a strong survivor of abuse. I think it trivializes actual abuse victims, but it seems to get her through the night to view herself as a victim of her abusing husband.

 

Please be honest with yourself about your motivations for wanting to contact the new girlfriend.

[ThatwasThen]

not even if it's put in this manner?

 

"I feel obligated to warn you about the path your current relationship may go down based on my experiences. I personally experienced much abuse during the relationship and feel that you need to look for warning signs. Do research and don’t let yourself be victimized. Naturally I was very nervous sending this message to you and don’t know if I’m in the wrong by doing so or not; I do not wish any malicious intentions towards you, your partner, or your relationship. I wish you the best in your romantic endeavors."

 

Mind your own business. Its not your job to intrude on any one else's relationship. If he is abusive, she will soon enough find out and hopefully she is confident and with enough self esteem to kick his azz to the curb if he is that way with her.

 

Get on with your life and get him out of yours in all ways (including worrying about who he is dating now).

[abitbroken]

Unless he was a bigamist with two secret families in different cities and she announced her engagement to him or he broke your jaw, I would not do that.