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  1. also, I am not trying to paint a bad pic of him. He was my best friend for a long time and I think highly of him because he's good person. I am trying to approach this neutrally, not attack anyone.
  2. That's not the point. The point is that I am comparing myself to these girlfriends of his in every way. In my mind they are better than me in every way simply bc they are not me. In intelligence, looks, morals, etc.
  3. These two situations are different because one involved jealousy and the other did not. I simply felt obligated to protect her, not envy her.
  4. Broke up with my first boyfriend years ago, it affected me a lot because he has a "type" and I can't help but compare myself to the new women he may be dating. We remained friends (no longer) for a while and I recall this conversation that I go over and over in my head; Him: She never texts me but I'm just trying to respect her space Me: She must be damn hot or something for you to still try and work things out despite her ignoring you for weeks like that Him: She IS hot...... I am definitely still in love with him and these thought I'm afraid are becoming crippling to my self esteem. Should I try and make arrangements to speak to a conselor about this? Has Anyone else experienced this?
  5. I have just now accepted that it was an abusive relationship. It's difficult to accept, especially when you're in love with someone.
  6. when did I say I was looking at his facebook? I saw on my timeline that he was in a relationship and that's how I found out. He blocked me shortly after
  7. If you look at signs of an abusive relationship one of them is discluding their partners from social activities and withholding communication. Please be aware of the signs of abuse before you claim his tendencies were justified.
  8. I was in love with him. He was very controlling and displayed every sign in an abusive relationship. The forum helped me realize I needed to exit the relationship. Please understand I am the victim and don't intend to ruin his reputation
  9. not even if it's put in this manner? "I feel obligated to warn you about the path your current relationship may go down based on my experiences. I personally experienced much abuse during the relationship and feel that you need to look for warning signs. Do research and don’t let yourself be victimized. Naturally I was very nervous sending this message to you and don’t know if I’m in the wrong by doing so or not; I do not wish any malicious intentions towards you, your partner, or your relationship. I wish you the best in your romantic endeavors."
  10. I recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and was moving on nicely until a month later a saw that my ex was in a relationship on facebook. I suddenly felt obligated to warn her. He blocked me on facebook shortly after (probably to keep me quiet), and I blocked his number. I feel that I should message his girlfriend and warn her of the abuse I experienced and to look for signs. Should I go forward with the message or leave it be?
  11. You've done the right thing by removing him from social media. It's obvious that his way of thinking comes from how he was raised based on how his mom treats him (he's innocent no matter what he's done to someone). The way you're felling is 100% natural. I will tell you what you're doing wrong; trying to find an immediate cure, and driving yourself crazy trying to find temporary remedies to distract you from the hurt for just a little while. These are not the steps you need to take. The #1 thing you need to remember is time heals. In the mean time you can take steps to help yourself through this long healing process. Cut off all communication. No texts, calls, social media, anything. It is bad for your self esteem to cling onto what is and was an abusive relationship. Don't seek validation by hooking up or jumping into a relationship. Find yourself again. Loneliness can be taken as an opportunity to love and entertain yourself and remind yourself of why you are and always will be better than that jerk. Hope this helps.
  12. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and like him a lot. He has a personality that causes him to be very "chill" as he calls it. I see him once a week and find myself missing him a lot of the times. He can be so neglectful when I communicate what I want to improve between us; especially when it comes to him ignoring my calls and texts. Even on the weekend when he's just playing games and going out with friends. He says I'm too persistent with my calls and texts. I feel like I wouldn't be as persistent if he just acknowledged my efforts to communicate with him a bit more, and improved his communication in what he needs and wants. I don't know what would be the best way to accomplish this; be direct, or back way off and let him decide if I'm worth the trouble?
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