We have a date

[Creamybutter]

So I met this guy online... Eventually he used to call me everyday and we talked for hours. This went on for a month or two.

I was having difficulties in other areas of my life...was very depressed.. so ghosted him. Never responded or returned his calls. He sent me a text that he never felt this connection and this way about anyone and wished I could atleast give it a chance..i didnt even respond and that was my bad.

Its been 3 years....

 

I recently came across his contact and just texted...not sure why...maybe to apologise...maybe curiosity..

He responded back and immediately asked if we could meet. I said yes.

 

I then looked through his social media profile to check if we is single and noticed he's completely transformed at the gym and turned into this really fit guy. He was quite chubby earlier. I so didnt see this coming. I look the same :/..maybe older.

 

I'm not sure how to go about this now...will he still be interested? Will he be mad at me? Should I apologise? feeling a bit anxious really.

[SarahLancaster]

Just meet him and see where it takes you.

[lostandhurt]

Confirm the date the day of, show up early, look and smell really nice and greet him with a nice warm hug and then go from there. He will want to see interest from you right off the get go so make sure you let him know with your actions that you want to be there, he is important to you and you are excited to meet him.

 

People have the ability to forgive past transgressions if you show them you are not the same person you once were.

 

I hope it goes well and you get the chance to apologize for disappearing on him like you did. Don't make a bunch of excuses just tell him you weren't in a good place to date and that you should have treated him better than you did.

 

Lost

[limichelle]

You’ll never know unless you meet him. Just own it and don’t skirt around the issue of ghosting him. He will understand. We all get into places in our lives when we’re not ready to date or take on anything more then what’s currently going on around us.

 

Lisa

[Batya33]

How do you know that any of the photos are of him? Just meet in a public place during the day and stay sober - and enjoy !

[purplepaisley]

Don't turn this into anything more than it is...just meet and see if you connect in person. The past is the past, and this topic will likely emerge eventually, but don't bring it up, leave it where it is, and address it if and when it makes its way back to the picture. The guy was smitten with you in the past and is available to pursue a relationship with you now. The fact he stuck around so long with your behavior can suggest he might be a bit needy/clingy, but I wouldn't paint him with this broad brush just yet. You are clearly someone he is interested in getting to know in person. It's just a meet, and the intent is to see if you connect...enjoy!

[katrina1980]

I think you should meet and play this out too.

 

But feel inclined to point out if the roles were flipped, and it was a man who ghosted a woman years ago and then resurfaced years later, many folks would be advising that woman to ignore it, he was probably going through a dry spell, seeking attention and/or bored.

 

Not quite sure what to make of this, but don't overthink it, just meet and keep it light, don't bring up the past, just have fun, gauge the chemistry and take it from there.

[ThatwasThen]

I agree with Kat and will go on to say: If he were posting, I'd tell him to ignore you, CreamyB. Unless you told him you weren't interested and he kept bugging you, I see no reason to ghost someone like you did. Its rather rude and demeaning. The very fact he still wants to meet you makes him appear needy, or out for some sort of revenge (particularly now because you say he's ripped and looking fine). Even if its neither of those things, I question his own self-respect and lack of boundaries to give someone the time of day again that had been rude and demeaning.

 

Anyway... let us know how it goes. Should be interesting.