SeaBisquit Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 hello everyone, just wondered if someone could give me some advice on this. i just went through a breakup and a few weeks ago my brother set me up with one of his best friends who ended up to be a real jerk. i went over to this guys house for dinner and a movie, when i got there he had alot of his buddies over and they were all drunk and high. he had just broke up with his girlfriend and was on the rebound. while i was over there all his friends were hitting on me pretty bad. i couldn't leave because my brother had brought me over there and i really didn't know the area very well. anyways later that night everyone ended up staying at his place because they were to wasted to drive. so i ended up sleeping in the same room with my brothers friend. a few days later i found out that he had spread some really bad rumors around about me. i didn't do anything with him, but now my reputation is ruined. a few weeks later he got back together with his old girlfriend. now he has the balls to call me everytime he gets in a argument with her. i hate this guy and i want him to leave me alone, because of him i can't trust any guys, because he is my brothers best friend and look at the way he treated me. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Hey honey - don't worry too much about things. He's a jerk - it's good you found out sooner rather than later. Don't worry about your reputation. Some people just like to gossip behind your back. If someone asks you, just tell them that nothing happened and you don't know how that crazy rumor got started. End of story. Eventually, they will tire of the rumor. Don't worry - this will blow over soon. Good luck!!! And don't let your brother set you up anymore! Link to comment
Beec Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Well, you might consider starting a rumor that he could not do anything. Or you will just have to deny it happened. I think most guys claims of having had sex are taken with a grain of salt, because of the tendency to make claims that just are not true. I doubt he is as believed as you might think. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 I doubt he is as believed as you might think. Oohh -- good point! And if you're feeling particularly , like Beec said, you can tell people who asked about that night that he was TERRIBLE in bed! Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 um, his friends believe hin because they got my phone number from him and they have been trying to call me. so his little white lies about having sex with me have been a big boost to his ego and a big mess for me. i know alot of what he said and he made me sound like a (bleep) Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 oh geez... You're 24, I assume these guys are too! I'm 24 also, and haven't had any guys do that to me since I was like, 15. They are lame. Forget about them. Link to comment
RayKay Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 In my opinion the best thing to do when faced with these things is be the bigger person and ignore it. If anyone asks you can say it is not true and that you are glad they asked you about it to clear things up, but don't get angry, don't get "revenge" - it just makes it look like maybe there is some truth to the rumours. Obviously he is very immature and disrespectful, and eventually I am sure he will be found out for his lies. If not, well you know better....he does not deserve another minute of your time or thoughts! Your reputation is not ruined....just because there are rumours of you sleeping with someone does not tarnish you forever, unless you allow it to. Be the bigger person, and ignore his drivel. Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 yes i know, i feel like i'm in high school again that is why i'm so mad, because of my age my reputation is important to me, i find it very childish for a guy at that age to make up such stories i'm tempted to type in what he said so that someone might be able to help me find a way to get him back or shut him up Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 i guess the biggest thing that i am worried about is that i broke up with my bf recently and were kinda going through a cooling off period and i don't want him to hear these lies this guy is saying about me because he might think it's true. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Sea, I am sorry that at age 24 you still have to deal with this kind of bull. These guys sound so juvenile! My thought is, why aren't you more upset with your brother?? HE brought you to this guy's house, and then didn't take you home immediately once his friends started treating you like a piece of meat..... and now his supposed best friend is spreading rumors about you, I'd be tearing into him like nobody's business! He shouldn't need prodding, you are his sister and he should be telling this friend of his to recant the story and knock it off or he will knock his teeth out! Why isn't he?? Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 my brother feels really bad about this. he's sorry he set us up and he has told his friend to knock it off. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 I had soemthing like this happen to me once before and it's frustrating. In my case it was my then fiance's best friend. We were 18 then. We had a party at our house and my fiance's buddy got too drunk to drive so he slept over on our coach. Well apparently him and my fiance got in a fight one day over something stupid and his friend blurted out "oh yeah....well I .....ed your girl while you were sleeping the night of the party when I stayed on the coach." His dumb friend later took it back and said we were never together and he just said it to make my fiance mad and because he was jealous of our relationship. Needless to say his dumb comment still caused a lot of trouble. Although my fiance (now husband) believed me- I could tell he had a doubt. I took many many times of me re-assuring him. Then his annoying friend wondered why we didn't make him the "best man" in our wedding..... Sometimes people can be so asinine and immature! So if you get back with your ex and he got wind of the lie this guy made up- you will likely have to re-assure him a lot that it didn't happen. Other than that I agree with the others- be the bigger person- ignore this clown and eventually his show will end. Link to comment
chai714 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 now he has the balls to call me everytime he gets in a argument with her. i hate this guy and i want him to leave me alone, because of him i can't trust any guys, because he is my brothers best friend and look at the way he treated me. Why are you taking his calls if you supposedly hate him? A good tactic for diffusing rumors, is to strongly exagerrate them. You might consider telling others that you had sex with him in every room, while everyone was asleep, and even on the roof. Then, you went into everyones parked cars, broke into them, and had sex there too. This is one known psychological tactic for diffusing a rumor. It might work for you. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 i hate this guy and i want him to leave me alone, because of him i can't trust any guys, So because of one guy you are going to write off all guys? Sounds extremely illogical to me. Instead of prejudging guys why not view things on a case by case basis. If you are willing to write guys off because of one guy then that shows your inability to notice qualities in guys so you refuse to deal with them. Link to comment
bexcelant Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 You will always have jerks in your life who do this. My advice to you is to take the high road as Paua Abdul did against her accuser who said he had an affair with her to gain in the contest. Paula denied it, then spoofed it on Saturday Night Live. Now nobody really takes the other guy seriously anymore. Just give your side of it, then ask people why he would do such a thing? Ego? Pride? Insecurity? Make them think and make them question his motives. Bex Link to comment
SilverManic Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 I also surgest changing your number if thats possible. If he continues to call you you can always get the police involved on a harrasment charge. I know it's the last thing you should need to do and wouldn't want to. But the option is always there. It's harasment and it's against the law... or at least it is here if you can prove it. ~S. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 I wouldn't change your number. I think that's extreme. I agree with Bex. Paula didn't take it seriously, and everyone now thinks that that corey guy is a joke. Didn't he sexually molest his sister? Blah! Link to comment
SeaBisquit Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 haha thanks guys i guess i am really naive when it comes to guys, technically i shouldn't have trusted the dude, even though he was my brother's friend. mostly i trusted him because he was my brother's friend but that just tells me that some guys out there still have to act like a little boy instead of a grown man. considering the age we are, you would think he would have grown up by now. that was my thinking. mostly, when i do talk to him on the phone i ask him why he said those things about me but he denys it. i live in a small town so the rumors have spread quickly, thats why i'm so upset. now his friends think i'm miss fun time and they want in on the fun too. the rumors he spread around about me are pretty bad. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Welp... now you know. It is unfortunate. But, I guess in the future, if you are stuck at someone's house whom you don't know very well, best to call a cab. I wouldn't make a big deal of this. In a week or so, everyone will forget about everything. Good luck! Link to comment
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