Gary Snyder Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 I hate to say this, but most long distance relationships don;t work. Link to comment
Dudeathome Posted April 26, 2019 Author Share Posted April 26, 2019 Your advice to others is to date other people to get their attention. Maybe you should try dating others to see if she reacts. Im not devastated by it , I was merely wondering what others thought.... Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 I don't see the difference from being hidden in real life and being hidden on social media. I think your concern is valid. I also would be concerned about the sheer amount of male attention she seems to require. In short, I think if these are red flags to you, then treat them as such. Whatever other people think is less important. You decide the rules in your life. ... Agree ... Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 Im not devastated by it , I was merely wondering what others thought.... Well if you don’t care why ask? Based on your first response, I actually was kinda under the impression you were looking more for folks to call her a sl*t than any real concern, I guess I wasn’t that far off... But to be fair to her, I don’t see how you would even recognize she’s ‘entertaining’ 20 plus men, if that insecurity wasn’t already there. Plus, your verbiage... you said you ‘hooked up’ then you say ‘she saying she loves me now and we’re in a relationship’...I could be completely off but it sounds like you had sex then after she left decided you wanted to date... which that would make most insecure... hard to have a serious discussion about a potential relationship over the phone. I guess I’m just not 100% convinced she’s on the same page as you about your relationship status. It does indeed sound like she’s enjoying life and if that includes male attention, she should go on with her bad self, if it’s not your cup of tea, it’s not your cup of tea, but you are actively ‘hooking up’ with a woman when ever she passes through your town...no need villainizing her because you thought more of things than she did... Link to comment
Dudeathome Posted April 27, 2019 Author Share Posted April 27, 2019 Well if you don’t care why ask? Based on your first response, I actually was kinda under the impression you were looking more for folks to call her a sl*t than any real concern, I guess I wasn’t that far off... But to be fair to her, I don’t see how you would even recognize she’s ‘entertaining’ 20 plus men, if that insecurity wasn’t already there. Plus, your verbiage... you said you ‘hooked up’ then you say ‘she saying she loves me now and we’re in a relationship’...I could be completely off but it sounds like you had sex then after she left decided you wanted to date... which that would make most insecure... hard to have a serious discussion about a potential relationship over the phone. I guess I’m just not 100% convinced she’s on the same page as you about your relationship status. It does indeed sound like she’s enjoying life and if that includes male attention, she should go on with her bad self, if it’s not your cup of tea, it’s not your cup of tea, but you are actively ‘hooking up’ with a woman when ever she passes through your town...no need villainizing her because you thought more of things than she did... There is wayyyyy more to it... she was calling me literally 15 20 times a day because she was lonely on the road. We were talking about her moving here with me. She would tell me she was soooo in love with me but then when I asked her if we were exclusive she said no we werent but she wasnt thinking of dating or having sex with other men ... really confusing the phuck out of me. Ive known her for a long time. She said she doesnt even consider me a boyfriend yet she wants to talk to me 10 hours a day .... I have freaking tendonitis in my arm from talking on the phone with her... Noooooooooooooooooooo I hardly think she is a so yes you are far off in that assumption. She just doesnt pass thru here and "hook up" she actually has to spend about 500$ to come here for a week.... she goes home the first few days for her breast cancer treatments then flys here til she has to go back on the road... I know I havent been very clear about the situation, and I apologize... Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 There is wayyyyy more to it... she was calling me literally 15 20 times a day because she was lonely on the road. We were talking about her moving here with me. She would tell me she was soooo in love with me but then when I asked her if we were exclusive she said no we werent but she wasnt thinking of dating or having sex with other men ... really confusing the phuck out of me. Ive known her for a long time. She said she doesnt even consider me a boyfriend yet she wants to talk to me 10 hours a day .... I have freaking tendonitis in my arm from talking on the phone with her... Noooooooooooooooooooo I hardly think she is a so yes you are far off in that assumption. She just doesnt pass thru here and "hook up" she actually has to spend about 500$ to come here for a week.... she goes home the first few days for her breast cancer treatments then flys here til she has to go back on the road... I know I havent been very clear about the situation, and I apologize... How am I off? You said what I said you just added emotions to it. You think more of this than she does. You told us you’re in a relationship even though she has told you more than once apparently you are not exclusive. She tells you pretty words but her actions do not back it up, you still believe her. You’re being played man... and she’s not even trying hard... If you’re not ok with it you’re not ok with it, I think it’s safe to say most wouldn’t be, but analyzing her as needing male attention etc. because you’re allowing yourself to be played is a little overkill... She needs male attention and you give it to her... who’s fault is that? Really think about that. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 Since your an option to her treat her as an option and continue dating local womenTwhen I asked her if we were exclusive she said no we werent but she wasnt thinking of dating or having sex with other men Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 Dudeathome, to me this is simple. After reading all your posts, unless you relish being mind f*cked, then do yourself a favor and walk away. Cause again, after everything you've posted, over and above the social media issue, which btw is simply a symptom of the much larger disease - that being how unbalanced your relationship is - that is exactly what she's doing. Mind f*cking you. Doesn't matter if she is consciously aware of this or not, it's still a total mind f* k. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 There is wayyyyy more to it... she was calling me literally 15 20 times a day because she was lonely on the road. We were talking about her moving here with me. She would tell me she was soooo in love with me but then when I asked her if we were exclusive she said no we werent but she wasnt thinking of dating or having sex with other men ... really confusing the phuck out of me. Ive known her for a long time. She said she doesnt even consider me a boyfriend yet she wants to talk to me 10 hours a day .... I have freaking tendonitis in my arm from talking on the phone with her... Noooooooooooooooooooo I hardly think she is a so yes you are far off in that assumption. She just doesnt pass thru here and "hook up" she actually has to spend about 500$ to come here for a week.... she goes home the first few days for her breast cancer treatments then flys here til she has to go back on the road... I know I havent been very clear about the situation, and I apologize... What does it matter that she calls you 20 times a day? You are not compatible in the least except for the fact that she's an attention hooker to the 9th degree and you're at attention giver. Sad thing is, is you don't like other men also being an attention giver but she's not going to change her ways. She's clearly told you that you are not exclusive. All she has to do now is wait until another one of her attention givers gives her happy pants, and then, because you're not exclusively dating, she will have every freedom to allow his pursuit... She's grown up collecting men on social media and collecting ex's as so called "friends" so that's that. The question I would like to see answered from you now is: What action do think you should take that would be in your best emotional interests? Link to comment
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