Prenuptial Agreements

[Seraphim]

I would still never marry someone now who insisted on one. I am always a one for all person. I am 1000% in or 1000% out. I am about the unit not personal interest. I never have been.

[reinventmyself]

. .not to hijack your thread.

But another layer of challenges is my bf is taking care of his mother's medical needs a state away.

His dad's health isn't good either and ultimately one of them will likely have to live with him when the other passes away.

 

As you know, I just lost my mom. Between my mother and helping her with the care-giving needs of my father with Alzheimer's, I am pretty tapped out at the moment. I don't have it in me to care give someone else's parents, let alone live with them at this point in my life. I have no shame saying this either. Maybe I'll feel different, given it some time.

 

Had it been a marriage of long duration, such as Seraphim's, there wouldn't be any question. For better, for worse etc.

 

It just gets even more complex when you get older.

[Seraphim]

My husband’s parents are failing and later 80’s. My step dad is 80 ( my mom’s 3 rd marriage)and very healthy. My mom just turned 73 but with limited mobility due to breaking her back 4 times and severe arthritis. My dad is on his last legs and 73. So we will have ongoing parental issues for the next 20 years.

 

Plus we may our child for life.

[reinventmyself]

My husband’s parents are failing and later 80’s. My step dad is 80 and very healthy. My mom just turned 73 but with limited mobility due to breaking her back 4 times and severe arthritis. My dad is on his last legs and 73. So we will have ongoing parental issues for the next 20 years.

 

Plus we may our child for life.

 

It's a challenging road ahead of you. But you are fortunate that you have several years invested and the foundation to support the both of you.

[Seraphim]

It's a challenging road ahead of you. But you are fortunate that you have several years invested and the foundation to support the both of you.

Absolutely. I wanted that more than life it’s self as my childhood was a chaotic mess. I never never wanted that for my child.

[itsallgrand]

Reinvent , lots of love. That is complicated.

 

Kat, you are about my age if I remember correctly. Coming on 40?

I think had I gotten married at 22 ( almost did), I wouldn't have thought of a prenup. But now, I do, definitely . We talked about all the ins and outs of advantages of getting married versus common law where we draw up an agreement with our lawyers. We both have properties, assets, and some of them are joined with other people .

We've had to talk about a child, because we both want that ( on an adoption list, and they consider marital status too, so that complicates it).

 

The older I get, the more I value a good lawyer lol.

[Wiseman2]

Prenuptial agreements are contracts that both parties' attorneys can review and revise. They are only valid in the event of divorce. Wills and locals laws dictate who gets what after death. Prenups have nothing to do with surviving spouses.

[Jennifer2018]

My husband and I talked about one before we got married. We had a crappy dating life, and I think we were both prepared for things to not work out.

The only thing we probably would have tried to include was that we each keep our retirement. We ended up not doing it. We have a "gentlemans agreement" to leave our retirements alone.

It can be beneficial if 1 person comes into the marriage with more assets than the other party. i was hesitant, but I see the point.

[katrina1980]

My husband and I talked about one before we got married. We had a crappy dating life, and I think we were both prepared for things to not work out.

The only thing we probably would have tried to include was that we each keep our retirement. We ended up not doing it. We have a "gentlemans agreement" to leave our retirements alone.

It can be beneficial if 1 person comes into the marriage with more assets than the other party. i was hesitant, but I see the point.

 

Can you define "crappy dating life"? May I ask why you got married?

 

Not judging, just curious.

 

Are you still married?

 

Anyway, yeah I see the point of them now.

 

At first, it sounded like a negative, as you said presuming things won't work out, but I think they're a good idea now.

 

And I have my own retirement account, savings and investments too!

 

Agree with itsallgrand, having a good lawyer is golden!

[Fudgie]

Prenups can be used to screw over someone for sure but if BOTH parties have good representation and care is taken to craft a mutually beneficial agreement, I don't see the problem. I am not going to get married but if I were, I wouldn't do it without a prenup. I've always felt that way. I see it as an insurance policy in a way. I get car insurance for my car even though I'm not planning to wreck my car any time soon. The policy protects me in the event that I do crash. I see prenups as the same way. I would rather have one just in case than to go through a divorce without one.