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I once watched a video on yt titled 'if you want to commit suicide, watch this video first'. I watched it until the end. It told me to talk to someone before I commit suicide.

 

Here I am, having no one to talk to, because just 10 minutes ago, my parents lash out at me for being a liar, not honest, disappointing, harsh, and illogical kid.

 

I was trying hard to tell them how my therapy session was for me and how I've been coping with my mental instability, but since 2 months ago staying at home I couldnt tell them. I was afraid. Theyre both busy, working parents, if theres something helpful, I just want to start living good in the house, and make sure I listen to them. But I failed, so do they I guess.

 

Today my dad screamed at me at how he's been thinking about me since I took the semester off, he's been writing all the worst possibility on why and how I changed, how I'm not his perfect daughter anymore. And said that 'we have God, and if you're smart you know you dont have to go thru that thing called depression'

 

My mom got disappointed at me, and said 'where are your friends? They hated you, dont they? Since youve become harsh and unbehaved like this? If you have friends you wouldve talked to them and get solutions, not being a disappointment like this"

 

I cant proceed to tell them anything.

Right now, right this time I post this. Im sitting outside my rented room, cold, but I cant get inside my room because both of them r in there, still mad at me.

 

I want to commit suicide, can anyone still tell me not to? Because I dont think that'll change their mind either.

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Please don't do anything. I have had fights with my parents where they have kicked me out of the house and I have had to stay at my friends house....there is always a solution even if everything seems like it is broken...even if you just wait and nothing seems to be changing....please do not give up!

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I feel so guilty for being like this towards them. How do you talk to parents who r both very logical and religious about your mental instability? About your disability to work 'just fine' ? To do things normally while youre being fed and physically healthy?

 

I cant think any solutions besides me taking my life or just disappear like an ungrateful human being

 

I feel so guilty for having this egotistical problems

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About what? I haven't meet her again so I dont know.... last time she only asked me to take the semester off and try to keep my mood up

 

 

She did not get into your problems? Put you on meds?

 

You need to talk to someone who is a professional about what is going on. Is it your home life?

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She did not get into your problems? Put you on meds?

 

You need to talk to someone who is a professional about what is going on. Is it your home life?

 

She's an art therapist so she doesnt diagnose me with anything nor give me any medication... she just helps me with consultation... this wasnt started with any home problems, it was my academic progress that stress me

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Okay. So you have anxiety issues? This can be managed. Please seek a therapist.

 

I'm thinking on seeing psychiatrist to get medication, but since im still financially dependent with my parents im looking for jobs so I can afford one

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Eruki, you sound like my daughter in so many ways. A. suffers from depression, anxiety, and a host of other problems. She's a little older than you, graduating next week (end of winter quarter) and heading to grad school in the fall. She took a year and a half off to just settle into herself.

 

If you were here with me, I'd make you tea and toast while you cried and told me everything you want to say. And I'd listen. There aren't any easy answers, but sometimes you just need warmth and comfort.

 

Where are/we're you going to school?

 

Plus, insurance should cover mental health to some extent. If not, community health centers are there.

 

Now...do you have tea? Bread? Ready to talk?

 

Love,

 

A's Mom

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OK, go to a regular doctor for a complete check up. It will help to rule out any physical causes (thyroid, neurological, etc). Also a doctor can diagnose depression or other mood/ neurochemical issues and treat you accordingly. Talk therapy is most often an addition and follow up to treatment, not the sole treatment.

Im 22, and yes I got insurance, but I dont know if it can be used for going to psychiatrist....
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