Sportster2005 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I think he has revealed a lot of who he is. He's not likely to change with the passage of time. You picked up early on a behaviour you don't like. You accept this behaviour, or you move on. It's not going to change regardless of what you say. He may back off short term for short term gain. He is fundamentally who he is, and this has been revealed. I don't think you need a strategy, you need to make a decision. Link to comment
Eliza50 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 I don't think you need a strategy, you need to make a decision. So far, there have been 3 incidents I've found odd (the question after the first date, the lunch offer when he knew I'd be busy and the silly excuse for cancelling the second date). But the date itself went well, we have many things in common and we had had a nice phonecall today (he called), so, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and go on the second date tomorrow. After the second date, I'll have more information to make a decision. Link to comment
Camber 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 Well Eliza??? It's been 2 months - what's the situation? I'm thinking perhaps you two are hot and heavy since you haven't posted on this thread lately!!! Link to comment
Eliza50 Posted April 26, 2019 Author Share Posted April 26, 2019 Well Eliza??? It's been 2 months - what's the situation? I'm thinking perhaps you two are hot and heavy since you haven't posted on this thread lately!!! Funny you should post this today! No, we're not hot and heavy at all. I had gone on that second date and it had gone very well or so I thought. We went to a nice restaurant near my home. He got the bill, I insisted I should pay my share, he insisted I shouldn't, so, I said ok but next time the date is on me.He wanted to go for a walk on the beach after dinner but I had to get up early the next day and the beach is about an hour away, so, we didn't go. He seemed to be fine about that. The next day he texted me in the morning. A long text message saying good morning and how he wished we had gone for that walk the night before, that he would have liked to hold my hand and kiss me although he felt I might not have kissed him back (not sure why he felt that as he hadn't tried to kiss me or anything). I was very busy at work at the time of his message but I did text back good morning, sorry, I'm very busy right now and we can talk about all that when we next meet and take that walk. And that was that. He never texted back or called or anything. Two weeks later I texted him myself asking if he was ok. Again, no reply. Coincidentally, he texted me again a few days ago as if nothing had happened. No apology for his disappearance, no excuse, nothing. I replied that I don't need people like him in my life. Yes, I know I shouldn't have replied at all but I did before I could stop myself. Next text by him was yesterday....very long text full of accusations like I was the one who had ghosted him (WHAT?) and then I had sent a message out of the blue asking if he was alive, that I should have been honest with him if I weren't interested and so on. A friend told me perhaps he hadn't received my last text (the reply to his good morning text) and that I should ask him...and I did (mostly out of curiosity because what he had said didn't make sense at all). He replied with a suggestion to meet today or on Saturday and talk about all this in person. Before I could answer, he sent one more text and then it all made sense. He explained why he thought I had ghosted him and I realised that back in February/March he must have been dating someone else, too, because he told me some details of conversations that had never happened between us. He's had me confused with another woman. Either that or I'm crazy but I know I'm not crazy Anyway, I deleted his number after that. Link to comment
Camber 2019 Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 Good for you! That's very interesting, I had the same thing happen to me years ago... they say if someone you are dating tells you a story that a "friend" told him/her, and it happens to be a story that YOU told him/her... then that person is double timing you!!!! That's what happened to me. I think it's good that you followed through on this, but I think from the start there were warning bells. You did the right thing! Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 Oh brother, this guy is cuckoo for cocoa puffs! You dodged a bullet. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 The guy confirmed your initial feeling that you didn't really share simpatico. Thanks for the update, and better dating days ahead. Link to comment
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