Apologize or ignore a PSYCHO?

[Nebraskagirl14]

In all seriousness, what do you intend to do differently going forward?

 

To not engage in any drama or anything that could lead to drama on social media and really to just engage less in social media. I already rarely post on Facebook but I think revisiting where I put my energy is in order. My Chinese medicine lady has always said to me, “Don’t try to engage with people that aren’t going to hear you.” And last night, I jumped into a political conversation that I never needed to be part of and it all went badly from there. I have vowed to not get into any arguments on social media and I didn’t need to say anything last night and I wish I hadn’t and instead, just went about my business but again, lesson learned. Big lesson.

[Wiseman2]

I would do some research and find forums with like-minded individuals, for example LGBT or vegan or animal rights, etc. People underestimate the impact of flame wars and that mindset.

 

You found this site, right? All sorts of topics but trolls and flamers are banned so people can have civilized discussions about whatever they want. On a site such as this there is anonymity and people can just bow out if they don't like the advice or thread or whatever.

 

Don't let your personal social media become a superfund site with nonsense like this. It's worse when it's this personal.

[Lester]

[While the two men were gearing up to face off, one spectator noted how grave and serious Lincoln looked. “I’d never seen him look so long before making a joke, and began to believe he was getting frightened.” ]

 

http://mentalfloss.com/article/12382/time-abraham-lincoln-and-political-rival-almost-dueled-island

 

 

Before you say anything about anybody, remove all imagined barriers in your mind, put yourself in their shoes/life, and then ask yourself if you would say it to their face.

 

 

Ps, I'm not making excuses for his reaction.

[superfan]

Wow, okay so you make a comment that was admittedly in bad taste (mainly because of the relationship between him and the trophy hunter) and apologize when you realize that.

 

He then proceeds to attack and harass and threaten your safety well after the fact and people are telling you that you're the one who needs to change the way you operate your social media? No.

 

This is abusive harassment pure and simple. It is actually something you could (and in my opinion should) go to the police with. This guy is dangerous and the fact that he lives in another state would not reassure me.

 

I would screenshot and save all abusive comments and then report them to Facebook. Unfriend and block after that and contact the appropriate authorities. Does he know where you live? Has he said anything about that? What he is doing is called doxxing and it is a tactic frequently used by the extreme right and often as an attempt to silence women and lgbt2qia people.

 

I completely disagree that you should let this go. A random insult online is one thing but threatening your life and saying he hopes you get AIDS is totally unacceptable and needs to be addressed.

 

And though I would refrain from comments on others Facebook pages that he is likely to see, if you block him you don't have to worry about that. You should not have to silence yourself because of one unhinged misogynist.

 

Finally your social media is your social media. Post what you want. Let the appropriate authorities deal with doxxing or threats.

[Hollyj]

What are you saying to people? How hostile is your approach? You can have a difference of opinion where it does not escalate to that level. I think it would be more productive to get involved with the Liberal party where you can really make a difference. The likelihood of changing someone's perspective who has polor opposite views, is not likely. Not a battle you should be choosing.

 

I think you should report this nut to FB. His words were threatening and offensive. I am curious as to what your family members said?

[Nebraskagirl14]

I would do some research and find forums with like-minded individuals, for example LGBT or vegan or animal rights, etc. People underestimate the impact of flame wars and that mindset.

 

You found this site, right? All sorts of topics but trolls and flamers are banned so people can have civilized discussions about whatever they want. On a site such as this there is anonymity and people can just bow out if they don't like the advice or thread or whatever.

 

Don't let your personal social media become a superfund site with nonsense like this. It's worse when it's this personal.

 

Yes, thank you, Wiseman. I actually started an Instagram last night with all of the stuff that I am interested in. Great advice. Thank you. I actually enjoy reading more than commenting.

[Nebraskagirl14]

[While the two men were gearing up to face off, one spectator noted how grave and serious Lincoln looked. “I’d never seen him look so long before making a joke, and began to believe he was getting frightened.” ]

 

http://mentalfloss.com/article/12382/time-abraham-lincoln-and-political-rival-almost-dueled-island

 

 

Before you say anything about anybody, remove all imagined barriers in your mind, put yourself in their shoes/life, and then ask yourself if you would say it to their face.

 

 

Ps, I'm not making excuses for his reaction.

 

Oh I definitely agree. I don’t feel any anger toward him. I know I said something upsetting two years ago and that was on me. I was just afraid of him harming me.

[Nebraskagirl14]

Wow, okay so you make a comment that was admittedly in bad taste (mainly because of the relationship between him and the trophy hunter) and apologize when you realize that.

 

He then proceeds to attack and harass and threaten your safety well after the fact and people are telling you that you're the one who needs to change the way you operate your social media? No.

 

This is abusive harassment pure and simple. It is actually something you could (and in my opinion should) go to the police with. This guy is dangerous and the fact that he lives in another state would not reassure me.

 

I would screenshot and save all abusive comments and then report them to Facebook. Unfriend and block after that and contact the appropriate authorities. Does he know where you live? Has he said anything about that? What he is doing is called doxxing and it is a tactic frequently used by the extreme right and often as an attempt to silence women and lgbt2qia people.

 

I completely disagree that you should let this go. A random insult online is one thing but threatening your life and saying he hopes you get AIDS is totally unacceptable and needs to be addressed.

 

And though I would refrain from comments on others Facebook pages that he is likely to see, if you block him you don't have to worry about that. You should not have to silence yourself because of one unhinged misogynist.

 

Finally your social media is your social media. Post what you want. Let the appropriate authorities deal with doxxing or threats.

 

Thanks, Superfan. I did screenshot what he said right after and my uncle then deleted the entire thread off of his Facebook. I did report his comments to FB. I have always been outspoken and I won’t let a bully silence me because I am actually an activist on a variety of issues, but what it made me realize is in this day and age, our lives are essentially public. People can look up our addresses and phone numbers online without even paying. They can find out where I work. It’s all very scary if you piss off someone crazy. I think what it had taught me is to engage as thoughtfully as possible or not at all.

[Nebraskagirl14]

What are you saying to people? How hostile is your approach? You can have a difference of opinion where it does not escalate to that level. I think it would be more productive to get involved with the Liberal party where you can really make a difference. The likelihood of changing someone's perspective who has polor opposite views, is not likely. Not a battle you should be choosing.

 

I think you should report this nut to FB. His words were threatening and offensive. I am curious as to what your family members said?

 

Haha! Holly, I’m not hostile :-) Truly. It was literally a difference of opinion politically. He has a reputation of being hostile and the family knows this. He was once thrown out of a four story building by other guys in the army. His kids don’t speak to him. I told his niece what happened because she’s a really good person and she said it doesn’t surprise her that he said those things but that he is harmless. She said to not engage with him at all but to also not worry about him and that he told her he should never have said those things. It doesn’t make what he did any better but at least it doesn’t make me fear for my personal safety.

[itsallgrand]

To not engage in any drama or anything that could lead to drama on social media and really to just engage less in social media. I already rarely post on Facebook but I think revisiting where I put my energy is in order. My Chinese medicine lady has always said to me, “Don’t try to engage with people that aren’t going to hear you.” And last night, I jumped into a political conversation that I never needed to be part of and it all went badly from there. I have vowed to not get into any arguments on social media and I didn’t need to say anything last night and I wish I hadn’t and instead, just went about my business but again, lesson learned. Big lesson.

 

I'm glad to hear this.

 

Truthfully, if I had seen someone post what you did about the man who was a trophy hunter, I would have blocked you on social media - family or not of mine. It was bullying and being needlessly cruel. Whether he is alive or gone, someone you know or not, doesn't really matter. It was pure meanness for meanness sake.

[Nebraskagirl14]

I'm glad to hear this.

 

Truthfully, if I had seen someone post what you did about the man who was a trophy hunter, I would have blocked you on social media - family or not of mine. It was bullying and being needlessly cruel. Whether he is alive or gone, someone you know or not, doesn't really matter. It was pure meanness for meanness sake.

 

Well, trophy hunting is killing just to take a life and needlessly cruel. If someone is going to post such pictures on social media, they open themselves up to people not being okay with it. You don’t get to run around shooting animals without someone telling you you’re an idiot. That isn’t how the world works. I don’t need to be the one to say that but someone is going to.

[Hollyj]

Haha! Holly, I’m not hostile :-) Truly. It was literally a difference of opinion politically. He has a reputation of being hostile and the family knows this. He was once thrown out of a four story building by other guys in the army. His kids don’t speak to him. I told his niece what happened because she’s a really good person and she said it doesn’t surprise her that he said those things but that he is harmless. She said to not engage with him at all but to also not worry about him and that he told her he should never have said those things. It doesn’t make what he did any better but at least it doesn’t make me fear for my personal safety.

 

I meant the dude in the bar. The othe guy is simply off.