Would you say anything to him?

[tlamb]

So my boyfriend is a senior in high school (I graduated last year). There is a girl in his class who has made it very obvious that she is interested in him and it as caused a few problems because he could not see that she was. They were friends years ago but have not been in the past 3.5 years (2 of which we have been dating.) She started texting him towards the end of the summer wanting him to come party with her and very obviously flirting and what not. He has always been friendly but never flirty. She has also been outwardly rude to me. This furthers my suspicions because we use to be friends and she is known for being friendly. She gets weird around me though. Every time we have been at social events with her, I will see her talking to my boyfriend when I go to talk to someone else, and seconds after I join them, she gets awkward and leaves. (Many of these times she has been way too close to him, touching him arms and stuff). Anyways, my bf does not talk to her anymore because I told him I wasn't comfortable with it and he respects my boundaries. However, he is now applying to work at the same fast food place as her. I know this is not a huge deal and is not really my business. But there are many other fast food places he could apply. Should I mention that I would rather he apply elsewhere or just leave it be?

[Batya33]

I would leave it be. If you trust him that is all that matters. It doesn't matter if they work at the same place and please don't go down that path of controlling where he works.

[tlamb]

Thanks for your thoughts. I wasn't planning on trying to control anything. I was just wondering if I should express to him how I felt about it before he made any decisions. I would not be mad or upset with him for making a decision about his own employment.

[figureitout23]

Thanks for your thoughts. I wasn't planning on trying to control anything. I was just wondering if I should express to him how I felt about it before he made any decisions. I would not be mad or upset with him for making a decision about his own employment.

 

if thats true then there was no point in posting.....you answered your own question. Problem solved!

[Batya33]

Thanks for your thoughts. I wasn't planning on trying to control anything. I was just wondering if I should express to him how I felt about it before he made any decisions. I would not be mad or upset with him for making a decision about his own employment.

 

I wouldn't comment on it if I were you.

[DanZee]

Well, your boyfriend has proved time and time again he doesn't have any interest in this girl. What are you worried about? If you become jealous and controlling, he might not want to be with you. Just relax. Trust your boyfriend.

[katrina1980]

 

However, he is now applying to work at the same fast food place as her. I know this is not a huge deal and is not really my business. But there are many other fast food places he could apply. Should I mention that I would rather he apply elsewhere or just leave it be?

 

So she openly flirts with him, gets touchy with him, texts him inviting him to parties, is rude to you, and out of all the fast food restaurants in town, he had to apply at the same one she works at?

 

I agree do not say a word, but let's get real, something is not jiving.

 

This is out of your control; all you can do is sit back and observe his behavior assuming he gets the job and starts working with her.

[Wiseman2]

Your bf is the problem, not her. It's very common to make believe the bf is innocent and some evil girls are chasing him and trying to seduce him, etc. However that wouldn't be happening if he didn't enjoy, invite and encourage it.

 

Perhaps you've outgrown his high school behavior and he's just to immature for you now. Why not date more mature college men rather than high school boys? It's better than trying to control and mother this guy.

So my boyfriend is a senior in high school I graduated last year. he is now applying to work at the same fast food place as her.

[Hive]

Your bf is the problem, not her. It's very common to make believe the bf is innocent and some evil girls are chasing him and trying to seduce him, etc. However that wouldn't be happening if he didn't enjoy, invite and encourage it.

 

Perhaps you've outgrown his high school behavior and he's just to immature for you now. Why not date more mature college men rather than high school boys? It's better than trying to control and mother this guy.

 

Exactly this, you’ve already expressed that it’s making you feel uncomfortable and then he’s gone and applied to the same place that she works.... he’s enjoying the attention, there’s not really much else you can do, I suggest you don’t feed into it and see what happens next.

[purplepaisley]

I agree with the two posts below. One thing us women do, is we blame the women, as if the men are innocent bystanders. Yes, women do play a role, as this girl's obvious flirtatious behavior demonstrates, but your boyfriend is not putting a stop to it, and without hard boundaries, he seems to encourage it. He's playing dumb (he doesn't notice), but c'mon, do you really buy that? I sure don't. He likes the attention, and quite possibly is open seeing her or messing around, and TBH, it could be a slip up on a tipsy night where boundaries are loose.

 

At this point, you have to let this play itself out. You trust him or you don't. You can only wait and see, and hopefully he will put an end to these flirtatious encounters and be very clear he has a girlfriend and is not interested. You can't control it, you can't control his job, his friends...he has to make his own choices, and the last thing you need is a man you don't trust and have to mother while you live a life of anxiety over the fact he didn't call or he has to work late or goes out with friends.

 

You're blaming this girl, but you're not holding your boyfriend to the fact that he's encouraging this behavior and is a participant. If he (any man) strays, the woman is not the only one to blame.

 

So she openly flirts with him, gets touchy with him, texts him inviting him to parties, is rude to you, and out of all the fast food restaurants in town, he had to apply at the same one she works at?

 

I agree do not say a word, but let's get real, something is not jiving.

 

This is out of your control; all you can do is sit back and observe his behavior assuming he gets the job and starts working with her.

 

Your bf is the problem, not her. It's very common to make believe the bf is innocent and some evil girls are chasing him and trying to seduce him, etc. However that wouldn't be happening if he didn't enjoy, invite and encourage it.

 

Perhaps you've outgrown his high school behavior and he's just to immature for you now. Why not date more mature college men rather than high school boys? It's better than trying to control and mother this guy.