Kicking Myself

[Hollyj]

Thank you for your opinion. I don't agree with that, but I appreciate it regardless

 

I agree with it. You should not reintroducing your child to a man after a couple of months. It is very confusing. You should only be inviting her to people you have some history with.

[Honeycomb8]

It's confusing and potentially dangerous.

 

Also dating someone for two weeks is way too short a time to be getting emotionally stressed out or have all this confusion take place. It's two weeks...?

[figureitout23]

I've been feeling the same. He took me around his town, showed me where he grew up, wanted to meet my parents. I don't understand how he could've just changed his mind. He's 26, not some hothead young guy. I'm a good judge of a person, and I didn't see this coming. Maybe I'm just too shocked to accept it. But I saw it going somewhere good. I do have attachment issues, but I went into that skeptical and cautious, didn't let him in like I normally would. He said he was really interested and understood that I wanted to take things slow.

 

I think both Kat and Holly make excellent points but which one is your truth? I guess that’s up to you to be brutally honest with yourself to figure it out. are you prematurely attaching to these men and is it possibly false attachment or do you keep attracting commitmentphobic men who run with things get too serious? either way you slice it to keep having this issue something is off

 

I agree with the others, space is going to be your best friend right now. I know it seems impossible and really want that response to ease your anxiety but the potential to make things worse it’s just really high so just do whatever you can to not message and let him come to you.

[Wiseman2]

It may be best to rethink this. Very few healthy decent men want someone who is clingy, has no life, no self respect or no appropriate boundaries..

I attach too easy, trust too much, and fall too hard.

I don't plan on changing, because someday someone will appreciate that about me.

[Hollyj]

It may be best to rethink this. Very few healthy decent men want someone who is clingy, has no life, no self respect or no appropriate boundaries..

Originally Posted by HannahMarie9

I attach too easy, trust too much, and fall too hard.

 

I don't plan on changing, because someday someone will appreciate that about me.

 

You will certainly not attract a man that is capable of a healthy relationship. OP, being needy, and having no boundaries is not attractive. At all. Deal with your insecurities.

[HannahMarie9]

I think both Kat and Holly make excellent points but which one is your truth? I guess that’s up to you to be brutally honest with yourself to figure it out. are you prematurely attaching to these men and is it possibly false attachment or do you keep attracting commitmentphobic men who run with things get too serious? either way you slice it to keep having this issue something is off

 

I agree with the others, space is going to be your best friend right now. I know it seems impossible and really want that response to ease your anxiety but the potential to make things worse it’s just really high so just do whatever you can to not message and let him come to you.

 

I fully intend on letting it go, I just didn't know if it would have been a huge mistake to reach out at all, just to clear the air for my own benefit. He may or may not ever message me again. And I will be fine either way, life goes on. I've been on dates since we stopped talking, I just think about it every once in a while and it eats at me a bit not knowing what could have happened. I'll move on.

[HannahMarie9]

It may be best to rethink this. Very few healthy decent men want someone who is clingy, has no life, no self respect or no appropriate boundaries..

 

I understand what you're saying. The way you worded it stung, honestly. I see how I could come off as a no life, stage 5 clinger, and have no respect for myself. But I can assure you I'm normal. I just got burned and it hurt, so now I'm asking for advice. Two weeks was too short of a period to be invested, but it ended so abruptly that I feel justified being a bit shocked and left wondering.

[katrina1980]

I fully intend on letting it go, I just didn't know if it would have been a huge mistake to reach out at all, just to clear the air for my own benefit. He may or may not ever message me again. And I will be fine either way, life goes on. I've been on dates since we stopped talking, I just think about it every once in a while and it eats at me a bit not knowing what could have happened. I'll move on.

 

Just curious Hannah, is it safe to assume that you're no longer pining over the last guy, the guy you created a thread about back in July? You seemed quite hung up on him for over a year (even just two months ago when you created the thread).

 

So if anything positive was to be gained from this, at least this new guy allowed you to move on from the last guy, right?

 

And since you only dated this new guy two weeks, he should be fairly easy to move on from I would think.

 

And then your heart will be open to finding someone brand new, and doing things differently, leading to a different outcome.

 

"When one door closes, another one opens."

Alexander Graham Bell

[HannahMarie9]

Just curious Hannah, is it safe to assume that you're no longer pining over the last guy, the guy you created a thread about back in July? You seemed quite hung up on him for over a year (even just two months ago when you created the thread).

 

So if anything positive was to be gained from this, at least this new guy allowed you to move on from the last guy, right?

 

And since you only dated this new guy two weeks, he should be fairly easy to move on from I would think.

 

And then your heart will be open to finding someone brand new, and doing things differently, leading to a different outcome.

 

"When one door closes, another one opens."

Alexander Graham Bell

 

Yes, I had moved on from the first guy. I still think about the guy I talked to for two weeks on occasion, but I'm not holding out hope anymore. The world keeps spinning, life goes on.

[LootieTootie]

Yes, I had moved on from the first guy. I still think about the guy I talked to for two weeks on occasion, but I'm not holding out hope anymore. The world keeps spinning, life goes on.

 

I agree that maybe you do get attached too easily. People like this when they find a relationship, they tend to have co-dependency issues.

 

You may need to take a break from dating and do some self-reflection why you let yourself become so easily attached.

[lostandhurt]

So back to your original question.

 

Silence from you is your best option. He will either think about you fondly from time to time and wonder or he will appreciate that you respected his choice.

 

And onto your habit of going a bit to fast to soon. Perhaps a road map of sorts could be put together with the help of some of the nice folks here that you can follow the next time you meet someone new. Kind of a boundary list by phase of the relationship.

 

Getting to know each other phase: (insert time frame)

No relationship talk

No sex

No meeting parents

No long term plans

 

Getting more serious phase: (insert time frame)

exclusive talk

Intimacy

Meeting friends

sleep overs

Whole weekends together

 

I think you see where I am going with this. I just threw that together and I am sure others here can help with a way better plan or guide.

 

You seem like you just get to wrapped up to fast and jump the gun and maybe with something to remind you to slow it down a little you can get to phase 4.

 

Leave the guy be and let him wonder how you are doing while you continue to meet new people.

 

Lost