GF had sex with ex the night before we met

[shellyf62]

I just find it so odd that she told you they had sex.

If I saw my exs friends at the same apt my new bf lived in I would probably just say "oh my exs friends live here" just it case we bumped into each other later on.

There would be no way I would be going into detail of the where & whens of things.

It just doesnt add up to me

[Jaker35]

Let it go man. She didn't really meet you until after that night. If she isn't still in contact with him, there's probably nothing to worry about. Focus on your relationship and try not to be concerned about what happened before that.

[Kila]

She was not fully over him at all of course. 24 hours wasn’t enough.

[katrina1980]

She was not fully over him at all of course. 24 hours wasn’t enough.

 

I agree which as I've said would be the main issue for me.

 

Sounds like you were her rebound. Personally I have no desire to be someone's rebound, but if you're okay with it, that's fine, it's possible it could still work out.

 

But what happens if she were to accidentally run into her ex again at a bar?

 

A few drinks, a bit of reminiscing, could you trust her to remain faithful in that situation?

 

That is what I would be afraid of, obviously there is still an attraction, or there was the night before you met. Even after a year of being broken up.

 

True this happened the night before you met in person so there was no cheating involved but still.... you had been chatting and connecting for a few weeks, correct?

 

Emotions, feelings are never logical when it comes to stuff like this, so again I completely get why this troubles you.

 

Have you been able to move past it?

[Pleasedonot5]

I also met my bf on line and we talked for two weeks (and connected mentally) prior to meeting in person. We have been dating for five months.

 

Imagining if he now sprang on me that the night before he met me he had sex with his ex would definitely bother me!

 

Having sex with his ex suggests he had not fully moved on, still had feelings, and one thing I am adamant about when embarking on a new relationship is that he be 100% fully moved on from his ex!

 

So no this would not sit well with me, I would have tons of questions, like why and if he is, in fact, over her!

 

It would bring out all sorts of anxieties and insecurites.

 

Not sure how I would deal with it but NO it would not sit well with me at all.

 

OP I understand how you feel and empathize.

 

What are you leaning towards doing?

Would it make a difference if they were not still in contact, and if he chose to break it off, or that was only casual?

 

I would have similar qualms, but as long as I didn't FEEL like second fiddle/rebound, then I think I would be okay.

[thorough]

I'm someone who requires committed relationships, I'm not into the hookup scene at all (no judgement for others, just my personal thing). That would bother me a great deal, just the having sex while getting to know me. This would tell me they aren't ready for a real relationship. Sex w/the ex would bother me even more. I feel if you are ready for a relationship w/someone new, there should absolutely no contact or ties w/an ex (except where kids are involved).