Intimacy Issues? Talk it out or walk away

[dmveep]

It is the same woman I eluded to before. I thought she was just shy, there are a lot of potential I like about her, so I gave it more time. Perhaps it was wishful thinking?

 

Realistically, I don’t think I can handle an FWB situation, nor do I really want that.

 

I don’t know who would want to discuss being exclusive with a person who showed absolutely zero vulnerability/intimacy. I initiated all contact through the first 6-7 dates and planned the majority of the dates. I never pressured her into sex, nor would I ever. I initiated about 90% of all communication. Either she’s not interested, or us a mysterious intimacy issue. Either way, I’ve seen enough.

[katrina1980]

Wondering what the attraction is about, so much so that you’ve continued on this long. Is it the challenge of getting her to respond the way you want her to? Not judging you for it, you wouldn't be the first man to be somewhat intrigued by this.

 

For awhile anyway, then it just gets old.

 

Just curious.

[dmveep]

Wondering what the attraction is about, so much so that you’ve continued on this long. Is it the challenge of getting her to respond the way you want her to? Not judging you for it, you wouldn't be the first man to be somewhat intrigued by this.

 

For awhile anyway, then it just gets old.

 

Just curious.

 

No. She is fun to hang out with, very attractive, and our lifestyles are similar. I would def be friends with her, just can’t be more than that due to the intimacy issues.

[abitbroken]

No. She is fun to hang out with, very attractive, and our lifestyles are similar. I would def be friends with her, just can’t be more than that due to the intimacy issues.

 

Okay this contradicts your initial description of her. You made it sound like she is uncommunicative and looks at the floor a lot. which is it? Could it be that she just is not the type to jump in the sack so easily -- gets uncomfortable being put in a position where you expect sex?

[milly007]

I'm a bit late to this thread, as I'm just seeing it now, but if you like this girl, I don't see any harm in having a discussion with her.

 

Worst case scenario, you discuss things and nothing is resolved. But hey, at least you tried, right?

 

Maybe she has other things going on in her life that you aren't aware of, and subconsciously these issues are affecting her more than she realizes when she's spending time with you.

 

I just wouldn't assume that she's normally cold and seemingly detached (although yeah, kinda hard to ignore when she's been a certain way with you on dates). I just mean it might be best to open the lines of communication.

 

Does she have a high stress job? Have you each discussed previous long-term relationships and whether or not she's had any?

 

Either way, better to try than not at all. This way, no regrets!

 

Good luck!

 

Please let us know how things go!