Felt total disapointment

[purplepaisley]

15 pages later, here are my thoughts:

 

• The boyfriend went and invited along the OP's buddy and apartment friend as a third wheel to the date. Personally, I would be pretty annoyed by this. This leaves me in the position of making sure she is included and entertained, or putting me in the position of saying, "No, I'm not on board with this, you are not invited," which wouldn't happen; I would go along with it and make the best of it. I would be mad to be put in the position of saying "no," and I would probably just go along with it. Mental note: A discussion needs to be had about inviting people without discussion and agreement. While annoyed, it's the 4th of July in a crowded environment, the more the merrier, and we could be whooping it up with some fun strangers, if not people we know...let this one go. We've had alone time before, and we'll have alone time in the future. This venue isn't exactly a romantic getaway for two.
  
• The boyfriend went and invited this this individual and then completely dropped out of the picture. The second he invited this person, he became the "host" and had a responsibility to be around and stick around; not pawn her off on someone else while he goes and does his own thing.
  
• The OP chose to accompany the friend for a long wait in line. I understand her sticking with this friend and not leaving her off as a third wheel, but if she wants to follow the guidelines and expectations she has of her boyfriend, and how she expects him to behave, she should have stuck to her boyfriend's hip and elbow and not left him alone, and left this friend to fend for herself because she had to stand in line for gawd knows how long for overpriced nachos.
  
• We live in this wonderful world of technology with cell phones and text messaging. There is no reason either party couldn't have kept up with each other and their whereabouts. Two months ago me and my family and my kid's friends were madly texting each other at my son's graduation that took place at a college stadium...hundreds of thousands of people...texting location and how to find each other...how did we survive without cell phones?
  
• The women from Metro...maybe there was some flirtation and attraction...the OP was too busy running off and having a temper tantrum to assess the situation. I don't think that a dude connecting with a couple women who share his language and culture is a bad thing. I can fully see myself having a conversation with some strangers that share a connection.
  
• I think I would take issue with the situation of these other women...he disappeared, and the next thing you know, he's getting all chummy with these scantily clad women, and it seems flirtatious...after inviting this apartment friend girl on our date, and dumping her off on me while he does his own thing...this would cause issues for me.
  
• The OP walking straight past him as he flagged her down...he knows she saw him and he knows she fully ignored him and was having a snit and a temper tantrum and behaving like a petulant child. She ignored repeated texts. Childish, immature. I would have joined my boyfriend and these new friends. Let's just assess the situation, finish out the night. If I were fully ignored? I will excuse myself and find something else to do...or leave. At least the OP had the friend and third wheel in tow to keep her company if he were a complete jerk and fully ignored her. It could have turned out to be a lot of fun whooping it up with these strangers....the OP will never know.
  
• 
  

 

Despite all that happened, OP, I think fully ignoring him was pretty immature and childish, especially when he was madly texting you and trying to get your attention. You came to this event together, and whatever was going on, your safety and your ability to get home was on the table, let alone the fact you were supposed to be on a date, and you fully "stood him up" in a manner of speaking. You were cruel and immature. You don't have to be happy with the situation, but you could extend the courtesy of a response. I think you flew off the handle and behaved like a petulant child. These women...I don't know how they interacted and if there was any flirtation...I'm thinking you could have had a really fun night and met some nice people if you just gave it a chance.

 

I agree with folks who say if this is a deal-breaker, it's a deal-breaker. We all have them and our red flags. I question whether you're being unreasonable or not and if you're shooting yourself in the foot with your stringent protocol, but that's for you to decide. At the end of the day, I think you could have managed the situation better by not ignoring him and fully disappearing the way you did. I know I would be at my whits end if my date of 6 weeks just up and disappeared...We're not talking about the first meet, we're talking about a history, though sparse...and you just really screwed up pulling a disappearing act like that...that's just a really sh**y position to put someone in like that.

[Jibralta]

True, i may have overreacted but i guess iam not used to men who while your dating start talking to women they dont know on a METRO, then gets lost and you see them all together having a dandy good time, while not attempting to find you !

 

I may not have reacted the same way. But I see your point, and why you reacted the way that you did, especially since it was the early stages of dating.

 

I think your only overreaction is spending so much thought-time on this issue after only a month and a half of dating.

 

If you are mainly only worried that you acted rudely, then you know to avoid acting that way in the future. There's no going back now.

[JCSK]

They looked trashy ! iam sorry i could tell the way the where dressed !

 

That's just jealous nonsense talking

[JCSK]

I think everyone is overlooking a key detail here. He met these women on the METRO. Under any other condition, I'd completely agree the OP was quite rude and immature in the way she reacted. But whenever two rails and linked cars are involved, things are a bit more complicated.[/QU

 

This stood out to me also

[JCSK]

Very sarcastic advice, not funny at all

 

What is humorous is also a matter of opinion (there's a little lesson in there if you look hard enough).

[kamurj]

The thread has run its course, closed.